Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Bazooka Joe, Jack Frost, The Complete Man, and Ultimate X
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Early Sunday morning, and it’s your boy, Dougie Fresh. How the hell are you? For me, not too good. I’m not going to bitch, whine, or play the Woe-Is-Me card this morning. Instead, I’m keeping it positive. If anyone wants to hear the depressing stuff, feel free to message me, and I’ll share my thoughts. But for the here and now, it’s not going to happen. And we have Fuego, the ringleader of the Straybies, to thank.

Why? He came into the house. Feugo is an outdoor cat, a stray, that has taken up residence here at the house, along with his three partners in feline crime, Little Red, Big Red, and Goldie Jr., aka The Straybies. He’s a tuxedo cat, and he’s beautiful. Well, it’s 5:30 in the AM, and I’m in here, trying to pull myself together and get coordinated. I glance out the back door, and there are two faces in the window, staring at me. Feugo and Little Red. So, it’s time for some food. I get a cup of food, open the door to go outside, and Feugo decides to be brave and slips by me. He’s coming in. He comes out, walks around for a few minutes, and then comes back outside for the food. And I did get to pet him a few times while he ate. I think he’s accepting us.

That’s how Mouthie got started. A stray was being fed, walked inside, and decided he was staying, and it’s been six years. Mputhie wasn’t in here when Feugo came in, but they seem to get along and spend hours a day talking at the window, so I don’t think it would have been a problem. So, it begins. More on this as it develops.

And now, let’s do the Day of Dougie stuff. Three topics from the infamous Magic Bag, plus a few questions from the Ultimate X. Are you ready? My Magic Bag topics of discussion are Bazooka Joe, Jack Frost, and The Complete Man. And now that we know that, let’s get to stepping. Let’s roll.

Bazooka Joe

A tiny piece of stone disguised as a piece of bubble gum. I used to love this stuff as a kid. Once you got to chewing, it was good stuff. But it was like a tiny pink piece of concrete wrapped in a tiny cartoon at the start, every single time. Yeah, each piece came with a comic strip starring, of course, Bazooka Joe and his friends. That was their schtick to make the gum different and stand out. And it worked. Do they even still make this stuff? I could look it up, but I don’t feel like it. My teeth couldn’t handle chewing it now, even if I wanted to. Suffice it to say, good stuff and definitely my favorite type of bubble gun.

What’s your favorite dance sequence in a movie or show?

I love musicals, so I have many. But this one was so off-the-wall, I’ll use it to answer this question. Do you like the Rocky Horror Picture Show? (YES!) Do you like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert? (NOT REALLY). Well, if you’re a fan of either, you’ll like this clip from The Drew Carey Show. Enjoy.

Would you rather be rich or in love?

I’m tired of love. Show me the money.

Jack Frost

A mythical creature of legend that brings the cold, makes you shiver, and nips at your nose. Or, to me, an obscure character from Marvel Comics who was part of the WWII group of heroes, The Liberty Legion. And according to Thor, possibly a tiny Frost Giant. If I remember correctly, Frost ended up buried in the ocean, frozen inside a giant ice worm. Yeah, you can’t make this stuff up. A lesser-known character that I’ve used a few times in my fan-fiction stories, which are, by the way, available for your reading pleasure at FanFiction.net. My writer name is TSFiction19. Go check it out if you get the chance. And if Jack stops by for a visit, give him a cup of hot chocolate. He hates that.

Who do you talk to at your lowest?

My cat. Or I write. It’s not my place to burden those I love with my problems. They have their own lives to take care of. I’ll be alright.

What are the five bands you played the most this year?

Since they both had new albums, Waylon and Alice Cooper are two of them. And based on my Spotify listening habits, the other three would probably be Dr. Hook, Struggle Jennings, and Yelawolf.

The Complete Man

In a book, about James Dean, by the way, called Boulevard of Broken Dreams, I found an old scrap of paper that’s been there for at least twenty-five years. It’s something I wrote down long ago after seeing in a documentary that James Dean allegedly carried around this note in his wallet oh so many years ago… it says:

“The Complete Man – These Are His Needs: The need for love and security. The need for creative expression. The need for recognition and self-esteem.”

I think that pretty much says it all… Words worth taking note of… Truth!

What’s a silent red flag nobody talks about?

A silent red flag. Observe how a person treats others, like their family, cashiers, waitresses, etc. If they don’t show respect and act right with those folks, they won’t with you. ‘Nuff said.

Do you call people by their preferred pronouns if they ask nicely?

I call people by their name or don’t worry about the pronoun thing. It is what it is, and I’m not playing make-believe for anyone.

Have you ever had a crush on a cartoon character?

No, that would be weird.

And there you go. By the way, sometime in the next few days, 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas will begin. It used to be a regular thing with this site, but I got lazy. Just like the Twelve Days of Christmas, but Days of Dougie instead. And everyone will have at least one holiday/Christmas topic of discussion. So, you’ve been warned. Watch for that.

And with that, I’m out of here. Be well, my friends. Take care and Happy Holidays. I’m headed out right now to listen to some rocking ’80s on YouTube. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!