Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #179
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 179, and I’m still standing. Don’t say I don’t love ya.

What is something that people romanticize but is actually horrible?

Rape. It’s fun to roleplay and do the domination/submission stuff sometimes, but there are limits, safe words, and it only goes so far. It’s fun to pretend. But the real deal, it’s not fun in the slightest. It’s betrayal, pain, and trauma that one will never truly recover from.

Can you date someone exactly like you?

Hell no. I’m too much of a weirdo.

A fictional character’s death that you have NOT gotten over?

They killed Dobby in the Harry Potter movie. That one hurt. Dobby was a free elf.

How do you deal with people who don’t like you for no apparent reason?

I just tell myself it’s their loss and move on. I truly don’t care anymore who does or doesn’t like me.

Do you think children deserve apologies and explanations?

It depends on the situation, but generally, yes. Kids are people too.

When was the last time you ate chicken nuggets?

It’s been a couple of weeks. I’ve been on a Mac & Cheese kick over the past few weeks, and mostly eating that or hot dogs.

Do you think men are only loved when they have money?

Money can’t buy love. It can only rent it. True love comes whether there’s money or not.

Are you the author of your thoughts?

My thoughts come from my mind, life, experiences, and outlook on things, so that would be a yes.

Who is the best singer you’ve ever seen live in concert?

Rena McEntire or Linda Davis. Those two ladies were amazing live.

If you could live anywhere for 6 months, where would you go?

Anywhere, but here. Just give me my cat, my computer, and I’d love to just go away.

What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Warm, slightly overcast, with a gentle breeze blowing.

What’s one thing that Peer Pressure can never make you do?

Date a woman. Been there and done that, and they were psycho, and it just doesn’t work for me. I can have women as my best friends or as sisters in all but blood, but romance? Hell to the no.

Does height matter to you when deciding whom to date?

Nope, at all. I dated Connie, who was 4’10, and Hunter, who was 6’5, and probably every height and size in between. I used to be a slut. Size is just a small part of the package. It’s the character, soul, heart, and eyes that matter.

Do you have any recurring dreams?

I do, about working at Nic’s, about living in Ohio at my Grandma’s old house, about walking in the fog, etc. My dreams are like a long, recurring storyline that makes little sense, but will all come together at some point.

What’s the worst holiday in your opinion?

So far, it was this past Thanksgiving. I’m expecting this upcoming Christmas to be far worse. I’m dreading it.

What’s keeping you alive right now?

Stubbornness and that people depend on me. Ma, Terri, my cat, the Straybies, etc, I’m tired and ready to give up entirely, but I’m too damn stubborn, and I’m not a quitter. It’s all that keeps me going sometimes.

What is the farthest you’ve travelled to see a concert, and who did you see?

The furthest was probably 2 1/2 hours away to see Reba and John Michael Montgomery. That was in Charlotte. Or maybe it was Raleigh, to see AC/DC and Cinderella? It was roughly the same distance, but in the opposite direction.

How many people would you say don’t like you?

There are a few, but I’m not putting a count on it. It’s their loss, and they’re not worth the trouble of worrying about.

Do people unexpectedly ring your doorbell at weird times?

They used to, but I learned to say no, and they realized that the old, nice me isn’t here anymore. The me that lives here now will shoot first and ask questions later. I don’t have time for idiots or trash.

Was parallel parking required when you took your driver’s test?

I honestly don’t remember. I think it was. I remember it from Driver’s Ed. I can’t remember the Driver’s test, though. I suck at it, though.

Be honest. Are you a fan of meatloaf?

I am. I’ve always enjoyed his music.

What do you want for Christmas?

Peace. No more pain, and just to finally de-stress and relax for a change. And a long, bracing Uber-Hug.

Without naming your city, what is your city known for?

Shootings, drug addicts, high taxes, and crooked cops.

You have $8 million and 2 hours to spend it. No houses, No Cars.
What are you buying?

A politician. Or a wrestling promotion. Or a radio station. All of those would work well for me.

What kind of food stand would you open?

Simple, but good. Hot dogs, fries, and milkshakes. Just the basics. Nothing more is needed.

How gullible do you consider yourself?

I used to be very naive and gullible. I knew the truth, but I listened to my heart instead. I wanted to believe that people were real, sincere, honest, and thought as I do. I wanted to see the best in people and be the nice guy. I was stupid, and people put on a kind face and act great, but it’s all an act. Reality and truth eventually show through. I wanted to be good, and people took advantage. Some still do, but only because I choose to let them. My trust level is very low these days.

If you could go back in time and see one band or musician in their prime, who would it be?

Dr. Hook. It seems as if every concert was a good time and party mixed with great music. I wish I could have seen it live at some point.

Do you recommend using a dash cam when driving?

Film everything, and don’t trust anyone, especially the police. That would be a yes.

If you woke up and found yourself in high school again, what would you do to make the most of it?

If I knew what I know now, I’d skip class less, open up more, and probably be the school ‘ho. Hey, just being honest here.

What’s your advice for someone secretly crushing on YOU?

Give it up. It’s not going to happen.

Do you think homosexuality is a choice?

Did I choose to be an outcast, hated for who I love, and looked down on by my own family? No one would choose that. And I didn’t. It’s just who I am and how I turned out to be.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the bird feeder.

Ubuntu!