Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #180
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 180, and I’m still standing. Don’t say I don’t love ya.

What’s a non-obvious sign that someone is depressed?

Sleeping too much. Not quite as sociable as usual, loss of interest in hobbies, etc.

If someone showed up to a date two hours late, how would you respond?

I wouldn’t have responded because I would have been gone ninety minutes earlier. Without a message or text to explain why they’re late, I just figure they changed their mind, and I leave. I’m not waiting around for anyone… but Eric.

You have just been appointed Ruler of the World. You can either be 100% benevolent or 100% malevolent, with no in-between options. Which do you choose?

Benevolent. I wouldn’t want the job and would be hands-off as much as possible.

If you had to eat an entire barrel of one single thing, what would you choose?

All at one time, or over a period of time? Let’s just go with jerky. That stuff is always a good snack, plus the damn dog and the Straybies like it too.

Do you ever wonder if you were the weirdo in school?

At the time, I didn’t care, and thinking back now, I probably was, but I still don’t care. I was just me, love it or hate it.

What’s uniquely Australian that outsiders will never understand?

A Shoeie? I’m not sure if I’m spelling that right, but drinking out of a shoe? Really? And people call Americans weird. That is just strange.

Would you support revoking championships from every MAN who competed in Women’s sports?

Sure. If the winners weren’t women, and just delusional men pretending to be women, they weren’t eligible for the championships to begin with. Strip the titles.

When President Trump was elected, every liberal said that Trump would end gay marriage, and that every gay person would end up interned in a prison camp. What happened?

Gay marriage just got codified by the U.S. Supreme Court, and the camp thing? I’ve had a bag packed since last January, waiting for the trip to camp, and I’m still waiting. Is it possible that the liberal woken dipshits were wrong? Or just outright lying? Sure seems that way, doesn’t it?

Do you add milk to your scrambled eggs?

Usually, I don’t because I’m too lazy, but I have in the past. It adds fluff and substance to the eggs. Definitely adds to the experience.

Is $45,000 Per Year Enough for a Single-Parent Household (1 Adult, 2 Children) to survive in the US in 2025?

If you spend wisely and have some common sense, depending on where you live, that should be more than enough to live comfortably.

Would you rather have a Beer or Hot Cocoa?

It depends on my mood, but most likely, a cold beer.

How do you respectfully say “Watch how you speak to me”?

I say nothing. My facial expression can usually speak for me. Or I just ask, excuse me?

Are you ok? Be honest.

Nope. I’m falling fast, and each day is getting harder and harder. I’ll endure and be okay, but each moment is a challenge.

Why is failure important?

It’s a life lesson that teaches resiliency, self-reliability, and how to deal with life. Life isn’t always going to go in one’s favor, and a person needs to learn to roll with the punches. Failure helps to teach that.

What is life teaching you right now?

That I can only depend on myself when it matters, and nothing comes without a cost.

Have you ever had a paranormal experience?

The moment that my stepfather passed away due to cancer, the clock here at my home in the kitchen fell off the wall and quit working. So, there’s that. And there have been many other occasions where I’ve seen things, heard things, and experienced stuff that can’t be explained by normal means. So, that would be a yes.

Do you believe in magic?

What is life? What is a rainbow? What is falling in love, if not magical?

When do you decorate for Christmas?

I don’t. I want to, but what I want matters little around here. I just pay the bills and look after things, playing cover and trying to keep things on track. Christmas decorations mean arguments, complaints, and a miserable time for all. If I ever live on my own again, I’ll make up for it with decorations, trees, and everything else. For now, it’s not worth the arguments.

How do you respond when someone unintentionally hurts your feelings?

I cut them off, quietly, but effectively, or I simply ignore it, hurting on the inside, but refusing to allow that pain to show.

What are you putting off right now?

Writing two editions of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A and washing clothes.

What do you want to be known for?

Just being a nice guy and cool dude.

What part of your Zodiac sign do you most relate to?

I’m a Cancer, and we’re considered creative, moody, emotional, and caring. And yes, I plead guilty to all of the above.

Have you ever suffered from white guilt, even a little?

Nope. I’m white. Who cares? Why should I feel guilty about anything?

How do you process grief?

I grit my teeth, bite my tongue, and move on with my life, taking it day by day.

What’s your game plan in a zombie apocalypse?

Seal up the house as best I can, and head to my brother’s. And get ready to fight.

Is it time for a Black female James Bond? YES or NO?

Read the books. The character is named JAMES. Are women named James? And the books have a physical description of Bond. Is he black? No, I don’t think so. So, a black female as James Bond? That’s just stupid. That’s just like making Snape into a black male for Harry Potter. Oh, wait, they did. Never mind that example. But leave James Bond alone. Should Annie Oakley be cast as a 6’9 hairy biker for Annie, Get Your Gun? It’s the same thing, and the answer is NO!

Why are you so unhappy?

My health sucks. My Mom is slowly fading away. We’re going to lose our house. I have no friends or family that I’m comfortable turning to as much as needed. I can’t be with the man I love. I’m alone. Take your pick.

If you could get rid of any genre of music, what would it be?

Probably bluegrass. I don’t mind it sometimes, but that twang-twang can be annoying at times, and it’s the musical genre I like the least.

How do you call someone stupid in a polite way?

I just use ‘the look’. They probably won’t understand, but everyone else will.

Can you date your friend’s ex?

Date? No, that would be weird. But, if they truly are finished and over, I might sleep with him if he’s cute, available, and I have nothing better to do. But no actual dating.

What did your last relationship teach you?

That I’m not allowed to be happy, and if I even come close, my family, my friends, and life will totally mess things up. I’m forever destined to be alone.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the bird feeder.

Ubuntu!