Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
The Wiz, Mr. Hooper’s Store, and Ultimate X
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Way too early to be awake on a Wednesday morning, yet here we are. Yes, I have a doctor’s appointment this morning at the Wound Center at 8:00 am. And it’s 27 degrees outside. And my truck has no heat. It’s going to be a lovely morning.

So, what’s going on with you lovely folks today? I’m going to skip the small talk this morning and do the usual Day of Dougie stuff instead. I was actually planning on beginning the Twelve (Dougie) Days of Christmas series this morning, where you’ll see a new D.O.D. every day for twelve days straight as we countdown to Christmas, but that can wait for a day or two. Instead, I want to speak briefly about a friend.

Yesterday afternoon, an old friend of mine, Chad Tyler, passed away. Chad has been sick for a while, although I didn’t know how badly until just a few days ago, and he’s been in a Rehab center, and then the hospital in Richmond County for most of the past few weeks.

What can I say about this guy? We were friends for most of the early-to-mid nineties, and damn, those were some wild times. He had those green eyes and that dark brown skin, and it was impossible to stay mad at him for long. Soft spoken, always polite, and just an exceptional human being. At the time, I was drinking too much, and he had his demons as well, but it didn’t matter. We connected, became friends, and despite the occasional chaos, we never had a cross word. Life moved on, and he found the love of his life, Wanda, and moved to Hamlet. We always stayed in touch through Facebook, and he got his life straight, settled down, and all seemed right with the world. A special friend, tons of memories and stories, and I’m going to miss this guy. My heart just feels numb. Damn, I’m a writer, but I can’t find the words. Rest in peace, my friend, and hurt no more. I’ll always love ya, Bubba. Forever missed.

And how can I follow that as I move on? One topic from the Magic Bag and four questions from Twitter and the Ultimate X Q&A? That sounds like a plan. So, let’s go to the bag and pull out a topic of discussion. Let’s make it two. We have The Wiz and Mr. Hooper’s Store. Add the Ultimate X stuff, and damn it all, we have a column. Let’s do this.

The Wiz

The black version of the Wizard of Oz. This was a strange movie. Diana Ross as Dorothy, although she was way too old. Michael Jackson as the Scarecrow, Nipsey Russell as the Tin Man, and Richard Pryor as The Wiz. Apart from Ross trying to be Dorothy, the casting was top-notch. I still watch this every so often on Tubi, just to enjoy the music and laugh. And the best performance, in my humble opinion anyhow, was Mabel King, who played the Mom in the TV series, What’s Happening, as the wicked witch, aka Evillene. She stole the show with her performance. And here it is, the ‘Wicked Witch’, doing her thing. And you’d better not bring her no bad news.

Do you usually get along better with coworkers or supervisors?

It depends on the supervisor or coworker, as I tend to usually get along with everyone, so long as they leave me alone and let me do my job. Give me space and let me do my thing, and we’ll have no problems. But honestly, I do have a problem with authority sometimes. It’s not personal, but show respect, and I’ll return it tenfold. Don’t, and all bets are off.

What is your favorite non sexual act of intimacy?

I love holding hands and long, firm hugs. Sometimes, I prefer that over the dirty stuff.

Mr. Hooper’s Store

From Sesame Street, the little store/stand for all the Sesame Street shopping needs, run by a kindly old man, Mr. Hooper. I don’t remember much about him, but then again, I haven’t watched Sesame Street in nearly thirty-plus years. The main thing I remember about this guy was that when he died in real life, they made it part of the show to help children understand grief, mourning, and that sometimes, sad things happen. They didn’t sugarcoat it, but made it a learning experience instead. That was pretty cool. RIP, Mr. Hooper. There will forever be a place in the hearts and memories of all of us who watched Sesame Street in the ’70s.

What is the best way to get revenge on someone who broke your heart?

Find love again, move on, and be happy with someone else.

If music is therapy, who is your therapist?

My therapists would be Dr. Alice Cooper, with consultations by Struggle Jennings, his grandfather, Waylon Jennings, and counselor Yelawolf.

And there you go. I’m done now. Sorry for being so short, but it is what it is. The Twelve (Dougie) Days of Christmas starts probably on Friday if I want the dates to match up, so keep an eye out and watch for it. And I guess that’s all. I’ll talk at you next time. Be good.

Ubuntu!