Tossing Salt Presents
12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas
Epilogue: Honest Politicians, Jukebox Heroes, My Friends & Ultimate X
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Merry Christmas. It’s Christmas Day, and here we are, sitting at the computer, wasting time. It’s not the Dock of the Bay, but we’re kind of low budget here, and the Dock of the Bay would require leaving the house. And Dougie doesn’t play that! I know that yesterday was the official ending of the 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas series, at least for this year, but I’ve been reading Facebook comments and watching the Straybies plot world domination from the back porch, and hell, I feel inspired. I’m actually feeling a plethora of emotions and feelings, but inspired is somewhere mixed among them. And so, it’s time to do a D.o.D. epilogue. And now, here we are. So, I’ll do the usual pulling of topics from the Infamous Magic Bag, add a few questions from the Ultimate X list, and we’ll just have a winter wonderland of Christmas magic and surprise. Does that sound like a plan?

So, we go to the bag and see what Santa has left for us in his sack. Damn, that doesn’t sound good, does it? My bad. From the bag, we have Honest Politicians, Jukebox Heroes, and My Friends. Very cool. I think I can work with these. And with a few Ultimate X questions added in, this might turn out okay. Or it might suck. We’ll just have to find out together, right? Let’s roll.

Honest Politicians

Do they even exist? Some people elected to public office may start with good intentions andtry to be honest, but power tends to corrupt, and the system is corrupt, and even the most honest person will have to learn to compromise and work using the system to get anything accomplished. And thus, they become what they hate most, a corrupt politician. I’ve seen it happen far too many times. There are a few politicians that I think are good people, and they are doing their best to do the best they can to help others and improve things.

Our current Sheriff here in Scotland County fits that description. Though Ralph and I don’t agree on everything, he’s a straight-up dude, and I know his word is good. Unfortunately for us, Ralph is retiring this year, and the people running for the office of Sheriff, oy vey. No, it’s not that bad. Four candidates are running, and two of the four are good guys that I have a lot of respect for. A third is okay, but he’s so engrossed in the good-old-boy system, and I have a personal history with him that prevents me from ever supporting him. And the fourth candidate? I know nothing about him.

But back to the subject. Honest politicians. They’re rare and hard to find. Most are in it for the power and influence, and not worth a damn. I’ve actually thought a few times in the past about possibly running for an office and getting into local politics. Unfortunately, I have a conscience and don’t play the games well enough to be able to lower myself that much. I’d be disbarred, impeached, or under charges within days of being elected to any political office. And also, there may be one or two sexy skeletons in my closet. Just maybe. But screw it, they were fun. And let’s move on. Next!

What do you do with leftover bacon?

I know the expected response would be, what is leftover bacon? But believe it or not, we usually do have bacon leftover. When I fry bacon, I’ll cook the entire package at once. We then take what we want for our meal, and the rest goes into a plastic container for sandwiches later. And now, you know.

Would you rather be a musician or a movie star?

Of the two options, a singer/songwriter. That way, I could keep to myself, write the songs, record the songs, and send out the songs to the waiting public. Making movies and being an actor seems like too much work. If Brent or Kevin Smith ever needs me to do an uncredited cameo for one of their movies, I’m all in, but aside from that, I’ll just sing songs and make bad videos for YouTube.

Jukebox Heroes

Does anyone even still remember what a jukebox even is these days? The big shiny box in the bar or restaurant where you put in a quarter, picked out some songs from the available selections, and jammed out, along with everyone else in the building. They were very common in the 50’s and up until the early ’80s, but seem to be rare and hard to find now. Now, everyone uses their cellphones, and we have YouTube or Spotify. But there was something about that jukebox.

I remember going with my Dad to a truck stop near where he lived in Hillsborough, NC, and they had a jukebox there. I would always play Queen, singing Radio Gaga, and Dad would always play Marvin Gaye, and Sexual Healing. This was the late ’70s. Good times and good memories. And if I ever win the lottery, after I set up an updated work area and buy a radio station, I want to install a jukebox in my living room. Why? Because it’d be cool, and I can. ‘Nuff said!

And I just realized something as I was editing this and getting ready to post. How can I talk about jukebox heroes, and not post the video for the song, Jukebox Hero? Blasphemy. So, a last-minute addition. Here you go.

What has many keys but can’t open a single lock?

Music, and more specifically, a piano. Tickles the ivories by using the keyboard, but no locks will be open on that day.

How do people stay in the house all day?

It’s quiet, peaceful, and all of my stuff is here. And people, unless I actually want them here, are not. Unless it’s necessary, why would anyone want to leave?

My Friends

Some are not as close as they used to be, and life has taken us all down many different roads and paths, but know this. If I ever considered or called you a friend, it still holds for me unless there is a strong reason for it not to apply anymore. And you know who you are. I’ve always had some amazing people in my life, and I am very thankful for each and every one of you. And since I haven’t posted a video yet, here you go, because that’s what friends are for.

Who’s your favorite fictional character of all time?

I was going to say Santa since it’s Christmas Day, but he’s not fictional. He exists in our hearts. So, a fictional character that is one of my favorites? That loveable vampire from Dark Shadows, Barnabas Collins.

Would you attend a show if cell phones were banned or required to be turned off?

Absolutely. If it’s a wrestling show, I take notes the old-fashioned way, using a notepad. And anything else, a phone would just be a distraction anyhow.

And there you go. Another one in the books, and now we’re only 17 posts away from hitting 5000 for the site. And this is just a hobby, right? I think it’s slightly past that now. But I need to do a major reboot of the site, tighten things up, and start making money. But I love the simplicity of the site and the layout. Let me think on this for a while. I’ll figure something out. Maybe a separate site for the wrestling stuff, and keep this one as my personal diary, life stuff? The cat and I will discuss this and get back to you later.

But for this, let’s wrap it up. Merry Christmas, my friends. I hope Santa is good to you, and every dream and wish comes true. Looks outside. Damn, Eric isn’t here yet, but I’m wishing. Thank you for allowing me to share bits and pieces of my fragile little mind with you. And don’t forget that Jesus is the reason for the season. ‘Nuff said! And that is all the people need to know.

Ubuntu!