Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #183
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 183, and I’m still standing. Don’t say I don’t love ya. Happy New Year!

If you had to create an alter ego for yourself, who would it be and what would you name them?

I wish I had done this when I started writing, but I used my real name, so I’ve had to censor myself a few times over the years due to consequences. Who would it be? Mr. Vincent Paul Phillips.

Is flirting via text with another person considered cheating?

I would say so. Yes.

One word that describes 2025 for you.

Miserable.

Miracle Whip or Hellmann’s Mayo?

I prefer the Miracle Whip. It just tastes better in my opinion.

How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

I’d go to my bro’s apartment and dig in. He knows all about this stuff and would protect me as part of the family.

What is worse than death?

Being alive, but unable to take care of or look after yourself. I’d rather die than be a burden.

If you could eliminate one vegetable immediately, which one would you choose to eliminate?

Joe Biden? Okay, that’s mean. Let’s go with turnips? After all, who likes those nasty things?

If you could apologize to someone, who would it be?

Eric, for the past year. He deserved so much better, and I am an asshole and an idiot.

How many hours do you usually sleep per night?

Probably 4 to 5 hours, but I do it in shifts. I have to keep an eye on Ma.

Where will you be for New Year’s Eve?

Sitting alone in front of my computer, as usual.

If you had unlimited funds, where would you travel?

The UK, Baton Rouge, LA, and Ohio.

What do people over 50 do on New Year’s Eve?

I’ll be watching old music videos and reflecting on every decision I’ve ever made in my life. I can’t speak for the others.

Do you remember names easily? If so, how?

I absolutely suck at remembering names. There are some people I’ve known for over thirty years, and I still can’t remember their names. Sad, but true.

You’re offered $50,000, but you have to be chased by one animal for 24 hours. Which animal are you picking?

A Unicorn. It’s not real, and even if it did catch me. They’re supposedly gentle creatures, so it wouldn’t hurt me. Yeah, let’s go with the Unicorn.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in 2026.

Ubuntu!