Tossing Salt Presents:
Day of Dougie
Hospital Chronicles I
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

On Monday afternoon, I was released from the hospital after a nerve-wracking stay of nearly a week. It was an interesting experience and I had plenty of time to do many things that I rarely do, such as watch TV, listen to music without interruptions, and write. I had a notebook with me and if anything crossed my mind, I wrote it down. I didn’t have computer access so it was old-school pen and paper notes. It didn’t matter either. An interesting statement, a song lyric, an idea for a fiction story, a topic on the news, a random thought, or just anything. If it seemed like it might be something that I could write about here at the site, I made a note of it for future reference.

And now, here we are. It’s time to go through this notebook and just talk about whatever. If I wrote a song lyric, I’m going to share it. If I come up with an idea for a story, I’ll share it. If a phrase or comment caught my ear, I’ll share it and explain why. And if I had any adventures, which I did, we’ll share those too.

This is more for my benefit than anything else, but it’s a good look at how my mind works, especially while I’m stuck in a bed for six days and having some body parts removed. It’s a Day of Dougie series, The Hospital Chronicles. Hopefully, I can make this entertaining for you, my faithful readers as well. I certainly plan to try. So let’s quit the chit-chat and just do this. Are you ready? Let’s roll.

Story Idea: A freak accident at Hogwarts has claimed the lives of several of the professors just before the start of term and Headmaster Minerva needs teachers ASAP. New teachers are not normal witches and wizards, but instead heroes from the Muggle World and the MCU. The basic gist of this if I ever write it will be Dr. Druid, The Gargoyle (Isaac Christians), and Hellcat (Patsy Walker) become teachers at Hogwarts. I’ve already outlined the first chapter, but if it goes any farther than that, we’ll have to wait and see.

Ringtone: There was a Harry Potter marathon all day on Bravo and it made me want this ringtone for my phone. ‘Dobby has no master! Dobby is free elf’. Most likely coming soon to my phone.

Story Idea: Instead of being sent to live with the Dursleys after the death of his parents, Harry Potter is sent to live with distant cousins in the United States in Collinsport, Maine. A Harry Potter/Dark Shadows crossover.

Ad: An ad for generic Viagra kept showing up saying “Text CARE to 69069”. I almost did. But then I saw another ad with the same message, but a different word to text to get the same stuff with the same number. I’ll pass.

American Dad: I watched several episodes of this classic cartoon and the thought kept going through my mind, ‘Everyone needs a friend or houseguest like Roger’. Yeah, that would be wild.

Thought: Whatever happened to the old McDonald’s Gang? Ronald McDonald, Grimace, Mayor McCheese, and the Hamburgler? They were the Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids of junk food. Hey hey hey!

Thoughts before going to surgery: “I’m just ready to leave this place and say fuck it. I’m alone and no one gives a damn. My toe is going to fall off and I’ll probably die, but what’s the damn point of it all? I don’t have my truck or keys here, but if I did, I’d probably just get up and leave. I don’t care anymore. I don’t have a life. I don’t have anything. I’m just here and so damn tired of it all. I wish I could just vanish forever. Damn!” Yeah, suffice it to say that I was in a bad place that night, overthinking about it all.

Random: “Don’t use me as a prop!” – I think that quote was from American Dad, but I can’t remember for sure. I just know that I heard it and it struck home and I felt it deep down inside.

Joke: What color are a blackbird’s babies? Black. What color are a bluebird’s babies? Blue. What bird has no babies? Swallows.

Commercial: Did you know that KFC has a deal where you get an 8-piece bucket for $10 on Tuesdays? I didn’t until I saw the commercial. Now I do. I want some chicken. I know where I’m going on Tuesday. A/N: Yesterday was Tuesday. I forgot and didn’t get any chicken. Maybe next week then.

Lyrics:

Down for the count
And I feel the burn
I’m the odd man out
And I’ve let everyone down
Again
I don’t do it for me
I don’t do it for them
yet I’m only human
born to make mistakes
I let them down
I let them down
Again

I’m not supposed to bleed
I’m not supposed to feel pain
And when I do
Woe is me
What about them?
What about them?
I don’t do this
It is beneath me
I’m sorry
I let them down
I let them down
Again

And we’ll close up on that. That is only four pages of my notes to myself from my recent hospital stay. Reading back on this, I think the whole idea for this blog was possibly a mistake, but guess what? I’m committed now so there will be more to come until I get through the rest of these handwritten pages of scribble and woe. You’re welcome. I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s either write this stuff and get it out of my system or keep overthinking everything and stress the hell out.

So thanks for reading and indulging me in my inner quest to avoid a breakdown and insanity. Comments, questions, and thoughts are welcome and always appreciated. And with that, let’s close it up for now. This has been a Day of Dougie and Part I of the Hospital Chronicles. It’ll get better, I hope. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll talk to you again soon.

Ubuntu!