As most of my regular readers, both of you, are aware, I like to occasionally do surveys that I’ve found online. And guess what? I’m doing another one. This one is called, “The Most Disturbing ‘Would You Ever’ Questions Ever Asked”. It’s slightly disgusting and kind of stupid, but what the hell. I’m bored! So you know what that means? No, no one is going to be put on “The List” tonight… yet. I’m just going to do the survey. Kind of anti-climatic, isn’t it. Well, maybe it will be funny and maybe even thought provoking. Probably not, but we won’t know until we do it. So I’m going to do it… take the survey, that is. Let’s just do it…

The Most Disturbing “Would You Ever” Questions Ever Asked…
May 7, 2017

Would you rather, suck on someone’s nose until it caved in, or slide down a big razor blade in a pool of alcohol?
Both of these ideas kind of make me want quit doing this survey right now and just say screw it, but I’m going to give it a shot anyhow. I’m totally disgusted here, but given these options, I’ll go with the nose-sucking thing. Hell, it wouldn’t be the worst thing that I’ve ever sucked on. Damn, did I just say that? It’s freaky and nasty and sickening to me, but at least it’s not all painful. I don’t like pain or blood, especially when it’s me in pain or my blood that being spilled. That shit hurts! I want a beer.

Would you rather sleep on a bed of nails or a bed of maggots?
With the proper training and meditation stuff, it’s a mystical chi type of thing, the bed of nails can be done. Heck, the Addams Family did it. But maggots? I just can’t see or think about that without my stomach turning. Just bleh!

Would you rather eat rotten eggs or raw meat?
Definitely raw meat. I used to eat raw bacon all the time when I was a kid. Yes, I know it’s disgusting, but animals eat raw meat all the time and they’re okay. Rotten eggs are nasty, just plain sickening and disgusting.

Would you rather walk on broken glass, or put your feet in shoes with snakes in them?
There’s a mind over matter thing that allows people to walk on broken glass and / or hot coals and if I can have a few dozen training lessons with some DDP Yoga instructor first, that would be my choice. I don’t like snakes and how the hell would they fit inside my shoes anyways. Hell, my feet barely fit in there by themselves and there sure as hell isn’t enough room to throw snakes in there too. Have I mentioned that I don’t particularly like snakes. Well, I don’t. Give me that broken glass stuff anytime.

Would you rather drink boiling hot water or cold blood?
Cold blood. I’ve been accused of being a vampire more than once anyhow. Blood is nasty, but far more drinkable than boiling hot water would be.

Would you rather bite off your own toenail or lick your dirty foot?
Bite the toenail. After all, who hasn’t bit their nails once or twice. That’s why my Mom made me start wearing shoes when I was a kid.

Would you rather hang upside down facing a vat of hot boiling oil or a pit of poisonous snakes.
Hanging upside down over these things, either of them, would be okay so long as I don’t have to actually make contact with or get way too close to either of them. I guess I’ll go with the oil.

Would you rather bite off your own finger or chop off your little toe?
Who the hell came up with these questions and what kind of drugs are you on, you sick bastards. I need my fingers to write, type and work the cash register at work. I have medical issues and can’t even feel my toes half the time and when I do have feeling, they’re cramping up and hurting quite a bit. Chop that little toe off.

Would you rather, have your tongue stuck to a frozen pole or your butt cheek.
I’ve had quite a bit of experience with poles and frozen ones are not fun. I guess we’ll go with the butt sticker.

Would you rather mix your Top Raman with cereal or your ice cream with soup?
I think I want to throw up. These questions are weird and pretty disgusting. But ice cream soup sounds like it could be okay and bearable.

Would you rather put your hand in a tank with Piranhas or get your foot stuck under a running lawn mower?
I’ve seen too many times what kind of damage a lawn mower blade can do so I think I’d take my chances with those ugly ass fish with the teethies.

Would you rather, eat Mexican or Chinese food everyday for a year?
I love both, but Chinese is definitely my favorite so Chinese it would be.

Would you rather, have an affair with your neighbor,or your best friend?
Depends on which neighbor we’re talking about. My best friend is awesome and a totally sexy beast, but he’s also very, very straight so any kind of affair would not only be extremely odd, but most likely would damage and ruin our friendship. I’d rather have the friendship than the sex so I guess I’ll go with the neighbor. There are some hot ass guys that live around the corner in the circle that could be quite fun to play with again.

Would you rather sleep in the same bed with a dead animal or dead person?
Why does the Alice Cooper classic “Cold Ethyl” come to mind when I’m trying to answer this question. Just the thought of either creeps me out a bit. I guess though that the person would be preferable over an animal. A dead person – I’d just pretend it was my ex, Chris and go to sleep. He was a cold and frigid bitch sometimes, especially in the bed. A great body, but a stiff, cold corpse would probably have been preferable company. He could also be a total ass.

Would you rather get stuck in a foreign country or another planet?
A foreign country, so long as it wasn’t Detroit.

Would you rather wear itchy underwear or sit on a cactus?
Itchy underwear.

Would you rather lick a cat or a dog?
Insert oral sex joke here. I kiss my cat on her head all the time anyhow, so I guess it’s a cat thing for this answer.

Would you rather die in a rose bush or poison ivy?
If I’m dead anyhow, what would it matter. But luckily for me, I’m not allergic to poison ivy and it’s just another weed where I’m concerned. Roses bushes smell great, but they have thorns and thorns hurt. I don’t want to hurt as I die so I’ll go with the poison ivy.

Would you rather stick your head in the oven with the gas on or run through a big fire?

Do people still have gas stoves? It doesn’t specify how long I’d have to leave my head in that oven so I think I’d pick that one. Stick the head in and pull it back out. So long as I’m not smoking, I’d be okay.

Would you rather trick or treat @ Freddies or Jasons?
Both of them would probably be assholes and not even have good candy to share, but I think Freddy would be the easier of the two to get some goodies from and get away. He can only hurt you if you’re sleeping, dreaming or a Jew in Germany during World War II. Just stay awake and stay out of the showers and you should be okay.

And that’s where this ends. The questions were dumb and some of my answers aren’t much better, but I had to see it through. Thank you for reading and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Back later.

Ubuntu!