Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Stupid People, Remembering Names & Hollywood Squares
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good evening. It’s been a day. I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing and have wasted the entire day by just staying in my room and sleeping. I did manage to do an edition of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, but that was it. I only got up a few times to pee and eat a sausage biscuit, but then it was always back to my room, away from the dog, cats, phone, Mom, and other noises. I need a long breakaway from this place. I’m losing my mind.

And now that I’ve finally woken up to stay, I have two text messages, a message on Facebook, and three messages on IM to reply to. I’m letting my phone charge up first so I can reply without fear of my phone dying mid-message, but I’ll get ‘er done eventually. As for now, I can either go take a shower and try to wash away the dark gloomy feeling that seems to hang over me or sit here and maybe write up a quick edition of A Day of Dougie. As you’ve read this far already, I think you know what my decision will be. Physically, I feel pretty good, but in the head, not so much. Maybe this will help clear away some of the cobwebs.

So let’s go to the Magic Bag and see what the topics of discussion will be for today. We have Stupid People, Remembering Names, and Hollywood Squares. Okay, nothing too scandalous here to worry about. This one should be easy to knock out in about twenty minutes or so, and then I’ll probably go for the shower. Well that or back to bed.

And the interruptions have already begun. As soon as I typed the word “bed” on the computer, the phone rang. Spam risk. Then Ma called from the other room saying something. I can’t hear her in here so I had to get up and walk into the other room even though the doctors have told me repeatedly to stay off my feet, and she knows this. She had to tell me that someone I don’t know spoke to her uptown earlier today. And then what Joe Biden is doing. You’ve heard of Trump Derangement Syndrome, right? It’s a real thing. And the opposite exists as well with Biden Derangement Syndrome. That’s Ma. I agree with her on the Potato Head in Chief Child Sniffing Pedo, but she takes it to the extreme sometimes. How can I say this nicely? I don’t care! I watch the news, try to stay informed, try to be open-minded, and make my decisions based on FACTS. I don’t need the editorializing in my life. I love my Mom and the family, but damn, I need a break already. Oy vey!

And now, where was I? A Day of Dougie. Random topics with no preparation or early warnings. It’s just here is the topic and go. We’ve got all that covered and I have my topics. Now, let’s roll.

Stupid People…

Where do I start with this one? Just watch the news, go visit TikTok, watch television, or go out in public and you’ll see exactly what I mean. And our world is not getting smarter, but dumber with each passing moment. I hate to sound so negative, but unfortunately, I don’t have any other options when talking about the majority of people I generally deal with each day.

I’m not a brainiac to be sure, but I’ve got common sense and know how to act in public, deal with other people, and handle my day-to-day affairs. I don’t have to scream, stare blankly at a cell phone, pull my pants up, or act like a child every time I step foot outside of the house. I don’t get people these days. We have more knowledge at our fingertips today than at any other time in history, but the level of common sense and intelligence out there among the masses is lower than it’s ever been and getting worse all the time. It’s sad! Just damn sad!

Remembering Names…

I suck at remembering names. I suck at other things as well, but that’s a discussion for another day unless you’re a cute ass guy in the Laurinburg area, preferably a student at St. Andrews University. If that’s you, call me. But back to names. I am good at faces. I’m not good at names. That’s why, if I call you bro, Bud, boss man, dude, Pa, Cuz, or anything else, I’m not being rude. I just can’t remember the name. My bad!

Hollywood Squares…

This used to be one of my favorite game shows as I was growing up. Nine celebrities in nine squares on a Hollywood set and contestants playing Tic Tac Toe. My favorite times were when Paul Lynde was the center square and then later, that spot was occupied by Joan Rivers. Peter Marshall was the host and then later, John Davidson took over in that role. It was just thirty minutes a day of good-natured fun and always a good time. Hell, I even liked the version hosted by Tom Bergeron with Whoopi Goldberg in the middle box. Little did we know then what a piece of crap she would later become, but back then, she was funny. Damn, times have changed. But anyhow, Hollywood Squares? Good show. I liked it.

And there you go. Another Day of Dougie in the books. It’s not one of my best pieces, but that’s how this goes. It’s hit or miss at the best of times and this time, oh well. Thanks for reading. Comments, questions, and thoughts are welcome and appreciated. I think I just need a good, strong hug from a sexy man who can latch on and never let go. I’m going to go take a shower instead. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll probably be back later with an Ultimate X Q&A and maybe some other stuff as well. Until then, be good.

Ubuntu!