Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #47
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

Would you rather find a magical pen that brings your drawings to life or a pair of enchanted glasses that reveal hidden messages in the world around you?

Considering that my artistic skills are non-existent and that I can’t draw a straight line with a box of rulers, I can only imagine what those drawings brought to life would look like. I would go for discovering hidden messages. It could be much more fun too.

What is your favorite simple pleasure?

Hugs. I like hugs, both giving and receiving. I used to despise human contact except for the most intimate of ways, and there are still some people whose touch makes me freeze up and very uncomfortable. But with the right people, a simple hug is truly the best of feelings.

What is your Mt. Rushmore of Vampire Movies?

This one is easy. The original Dracula, starring Bela Lugosi is my first choice. Interview With A Vampire, starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, would be next. The Lost Boys is third. And the final vampire-themed classic? The television show was a thousand times better, but just for the death scene by Paul Ruebens, I’ll pick Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What’s a modern-day poison that people willingly ingest?

Alcohol, tobacco, government vaccines, and processed food. Take your pick.

What would the world be like without religion?

Imagine all the people, living for today. You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. And yeah, what a dream. More like, what a nightmare. While I’m not the most religious person by any means, and to be honest, I think most organized religions are crooked as hell, people need something to believe in. It’s just how humans are wired. We need a reason, a motivation, to be moral and decent, and an inspiration to keep going and be our best selves. Without religion, we’d be lacking that. And humanity would only show its worst, eventually self-destructing. Religion provides a purpose to keep themselves in check. It’s a necessary thing.

On a Scale of 1-100, how much do you trust Mitt Romney?

I voted for Romney in 2012 because he was preferable to Barack Obama. But it seems that since he lost that election, he’s become bitter and petty, his true colors coming out. Romney in 2012 and the Mitt Romney we see today are not the same person. In 2012, he tweaked the Spidey senses but was the preferable candidate and I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. And now? He’s right up there with Obama and Biden. In other words, not worth a single, solitary fuck! A scale of 1-100? Maybe a 3.

Would you eat BBQ Snake?

If I didn’t know what it was beforehand, I most likely would. But if I knew it was a snake, I would have to take the hard pass. It might be good, but my brain would never allow me to eat it. And also, when I think of snakes, I think of this.

What’s the worst chore to do around the house?

Cleaning the bathroom. I have a hard time standing for too long and while I can easily wash dishes or do laundry, bending and wiping are sometimes difficult and hard to do. And unfortunately, cleaning the bathroom properly requires a large amount of both. I’ll do it, but it’s far more effort than it’s usually worth.

Would you rather travel the world for free for a year or have $50,000 to spend however you please?

I hate to leave the house due to anxiety and not wanting to leave my cat. Thus, the travel thing is out of the question. I’ll gladly take the money instead.

Are you comfortable eating in a restaurant by yourself?

I used to be, but as I’ve gotten older, I just don’t feel comfortable in public much anymore, be it eating, attending events, or anything else. I’ll do a drive-thru or go to get a take-out plate from the Buffet with few issues, and I don’t mind it if I have someone else to distract me from being in public, but alone? No chance in hell.

Do you look older or younger than your age?

It depends. If I don’t shave and need a haircut, I’d say I look my age or maybe even older. If I’m trimmed up and the hair is under control, younger. I have a baby face.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up shop for today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Headbanger’s Ball.

Ubuntu!