Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #49
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

If you could relive your high school years, would you?

That would depend. Do I go back with the knowledge I have now, or would it be a blank slate, an absolute reboot? If I could have the brains of Dougie 2025, but the physical body and life of the high school Dougie, then absolutely. Otherwise, I’d take a pass.

What time of the day are you most alert?

Whenever I happen to be awake, which changes from day to day. I have no set pattern currently in my life. Late at night and early in the morning is generally when I feel the best and most productive.

Which of your family members annoys you the most and why?

Mom. She’s all I have left so she has to be the one, right? I love her very much, but the tension when she’s just in the same room is so damn strong. I immediately go on edge and tense up, full of anxiety. Sad, but true.

Does Mac & Cheese belong on a chicken sandwich?

I’ve never tried it, and truthfully, it sounds kind of disgusting, but I’ve had worse things for sure. And it’s just cheesy noodles, which should go well with chicken. I may give it a shot one day if I get the chance. It sounds disgusting, as I said, but still kind of interesting, but I’d try it.

Zelenskyy claims Ukraine only received $75 billion of the over $177B sent in aid. Where did the money go?

This whole “war” has been nothing but a money laundering scheme from the beginning. Where did the money go? Biden, Schumer, Pelosi, Zelenskyy, Mike Johnson, etc. Just follow the money trails and most of Congress, most of the Biden White House, and most of the Zelenskyy government in Ukraine will probably be found to have enhanced their financial worth quite a bit. Clinton, Obama, Bush, Cheney, Gore, etc. I’m sure that everyone has found some of that missing money in their accounts.

Has your way of life changed since we went through the lockdown?

I’ve become more solitary, less trusting, more isolated, and far more alone.

Would you rather be only able to watch the few movies with a Rotten Tomatoes score of 95-100% or only be able to watch the majority of movies with a Rotten Tomatoes score of 94% and lower?

I’d prefer the majority of movies with the lower score. I generally prefer low-budget, stupid comedy to anything sophisticated or classy. Bad movies tend to be more entertaining and a better escape from the real world for a little bit than the high-scoring stuff. Less is more and generally better.

If you were offered the position of Mayor of your city, would you take it?

I am not politically correct, nor do I play well enough with others to ever consider running for political office. It would be an interesting experience for sure, but I think I would be impeached within the first week for calling someone a dumb-ass and some of my more socially unacceptable but correct political views. I’d accept the job, but it wouldn’t last long.

If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name, and where would you go?

If I tell you, then what’s the point of using it to keep my identity secret? Hell, I don’t care. My new name would be Vincent Paul Phillips. And I’d go to Wilmington, NC.

Eat cow tongue or live octopus?

Can I just starve instead? Neither of these sounds appealing. In fact, they both sound very disgusting. I’ve had squid before and it didn’t kill me so I guess I’d go with the octopus for a bite. I’m ready to puke just thinking about it. Nasty!

What is something that you wish someone would say to you?

I wish someone would wrap their arms around me, hug me, and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I know it would be a lie, but I really need to hear that right now.

What’s ONE thing you could talk about for 30 minutes with no prep?

Only one thing? Obviously, pro wrestling. It’s the only bad habit I have left and it’s my obsession. So there you go.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up shop for today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the dance hall.

Ubuntu!