Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Not the President, Hideous, and The Gobbledy Gooker
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good morning, and yes, it is morning. Very damn early in the morning. It’s Wednesday, aka Hump Day, and welcome to a Day of Dougie. No, I couldn’t sleep, so went ahead and got up from bed. Now, I’m already showered, washed, dressed, and ready to leave for my doctor’s appointment at the Wound Center. It’s 5:45 am, and I don’t have to be there until 8:30. Yeah, not being able to sleep is a bitch sometimes. But I have time to kill so here I am. Yay!

Not too much has changed since my last edition of DoD. I’m still going to the Wound Center every day to do the HBO Oxygen treatments. Including today, only six more to go and I’ll be finished with that. Also, I’m supposed to meet a new doctor today about some kind of skin graft they can put on my foot to speed up the healing. It’s coming along very nicely, but that was a big chunk of flesh they removed from my foot and it’s taking a long time to mend. But if everything goes well today, I’ll be just that much closer. Wish me luck.

Anything else? I’ve been thinking about a very special person and making a very big decision. As it stands now, I’m working on building myself up to go have a conversation and hopefully mend some fences. And if that goes well, I’m very seriously thinking about asking a very big and life-changing question to this same person. I’m not sure yet, but I’m getting there. I know I love him and want him in my life forever. More on this as it develops, but I was looking up laws, ceremonies, and stuff like that earlier this morning. I may take a ride to the courthouse later this week, just in case, to be prepared. Who knows? But it’s a very strong possibility.

And let’s get past the chit-chat now and get to the heart of the matter. A Day of Dougie is where I draw some topics of discussion from the Magic Bag, and then, with no prior warning, preparation, or anything else, I write about them. Sometimes it’s good, and other times, it’s bad, but it’s never boring. So, let’s find some topics to write about. I’m reaching into the infamous Magic Bag and the topics of discussion for today are Not the President, Hideous, and Gobbly Gooker. Okay, this one should be… different. Are you ready to rock and roll? Let’s go.

Not The President

I think this was added to the bag several years ago when President Trump was President for the first time and Maxine Waters, the idiots from The View, and so many other morons were saying that the election was rigged, that the Face of Evil, Hillary, had really won, and that President Trump was “not the President”. And then, 2020 came and the election really was stolen and those clowns were happy. And real America had to watch the senile pedo play pretend President for four years. He was many things, but for most of America, he was in the White House, but Pedo Joe was “not the President” in our hearts and minds. And now, we’re back to President Trump, and Whoopi Goldberg is protesting, wondering why people say Donald Trump is the President. She says that he’s not the President. Well, the popular vote, the Electoral vote, the swing states, the majority in the Senate and The House, and America says that he IS the President. So, Whoopi can cry me a river. Donald Trump IS the President. And I’m damn glad I voted for him.

Hideous

This comes from an incident that happened back in 2013 when I worked at Nic’s Pic Kwik on N. Main Street here in Laurinburg. A typical night of slinging chicken, stocking coolers, and dealing with some very interesting excuses for people. And a sexy guy came into the store and some stuff. I rang him up, provided excellent customer service, and he left. A few hours later, he was back and bought some more stuff. I rang him up, and he left again. And not long afterward, he was back again to get some chicken and taters. While I was ringing him up, he made that comment that he thought I was tired of seeing his hideous face. And without missing a beat, it just came out. I told him that I liked looking at that hideous face. He just laughed and was totally cool with that. We became friends and even hung out together a few times after that. Nothing ever happened, but we talked about it and a good friend is more important than a quick fling. We’re still friends. And I still like looking at that hideous face. He’s an absolute cutie.

Gobbledy Gooker

This is a WWE wrestling thing. Way back in 1990, leading up to the Survivor Series pay-per-view, the WWE had a giant egg on the set of all of their shows. And when the night of the Survivor Series came, the egg hatched and it was a colorful turkey-like mascot, aka The Gobbledy Gooker. And it was so damn silly and stupid. It was supposed to be a mascot for the WWE, much like the legendary San Diego Chicken. But the Chicken was cool. This… was not. It was a moment in pro wrestling history that should never be mentioned or spoken of again. I’m getting chills just thinking about it. Oy vey!

And there you go. We made it through another one. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, questions, and any suggestions of topics to add to the bag are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And I guess that’s all for now. I’m going to go eat breakfast now and then go to the Wound Center. Have a great one, and take care, my friends. Watch out for e-mails from Elon Musk, and I’ll see you at the Mall.

Ubuntu!