Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #129
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 129, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

What musical instrument has the most annoying sound to you?

The human voice, or some of them at least. Mainly the rappers. No, that’s not music. That’s just talking fast or mumbling with music in the background. Yeah, the West Texas Rednecks had it right. Rap is crap!

If you could have dinner with any five people from history, who would they be?

It’s a random group, but let’s go with Kevin Smith, Jim Cornette, Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers, and Waylon Jennings.

What are some crazy adventures you want to try in your life?

I want to go to the beach for a month with no worries about money, doctors, the family, or anything else. I just need a break and some peace. A trip to the Zoo in Asheville would be nice too.

What is something about yourself that you would like to change?

I’d love to have my leg back, my health improves, and learn to talk to people again.

If money was not a problem, what car would you be driving?

Either a 1972 Volkswagen Convertible or a Chevy Silverado Pickup.

If you were Donald Trump, how would you handle the riots in Los Angeles?

I’d do exactly as the President is doing. Use the National Guard, the Marines, or whoever is available with a zero-tolerance policy on protesting and looting. If you go out rioting and looting, you will be arrested, prosecuted, and sent to jail.

Which living individual, outside of your family, do you value the most?

My infamous bro and his family. They are more my family than my real family.

What weird thing do you do when nobody else is around?

I sing out loud, cut wrestling promos on the cat, and dramatically overthink everything.

What part of the human face do you look at when you talk to someone?

The eyes and the mouth.

Can you name 5 things you wouldn’t do for a million dollars?

I can’t think of much. Money talks. But, I wouldn’t hurt or abuse children or animals. I wouldn’t willingly have relations with a woman. I won’t release a rap album. And finally, I wouldn’t run for President of the United States.

What’s something that you find difficult, but you think in your mind it should be easy?

I keep wanting to start a podcast and it should be easy. But reality keeps sticking its nose in the way and reality sucks sometimes.

Have you accidentally glued your hands together when doing a craft project?

It wasn’t doing a craft, but more just being bored and stupid. Yeah, it’s happened a few times.

What’s the difference between a peaceful protest and a riot?

A peaceful protest is exactly what it says. A group of people expressing an opinion. And then, when the violence starts, the burning of buildings, the looting, it’s no longer a peaceful protest. It’s a criminal riot and the ones acting up need to be treated accordingly.

What state would you never move to even if you were offered a free house?

This is a no-brainer. I would not go to California. Actually, nowhere on the West Coast, but especially not in California. The craziness and stupidity would be just too damn much.

Do you support the Marines in Los Angeles?

Send in the Marines. Hell yes!

What is something from the past that we need to bring back?

Common sense, justice, and Pop Rocks. JOLT Cola too.

Why do we say people work like dogs if they work all day, while dogs do nothing but lie around?

Dogs protect us, keep us safe, and give their all in love. That’s not an easy job. Dogs are good people, and most people would be lucky if they could ever reach the standards set by dogs. ‘Nuff said!

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at Lucy’s Advice Stand.

Ubuntu!