1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write the sentence here: “And so you witness the shape-shifting nature of tolerance.”
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What’s there? A window blind, a window and a pane of glass…
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? A press conference held by the Press Secretary for the White House, taking questions about the lack of a vote for the Health Care repeal.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: It’s just a little bit after 5:00pm.
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 5:19pm
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? I hear the voices from the show, “Are You Being Served”. I’m listening to it on YouTube while I’m writing this.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? I went out earlier to check the mail and put out water for our stray visitors of the feline nature.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? I was watching YouTube and episodes of “Are You Being Served”.
9. What are you wearing? Jeans, a t-shirt and socks.
10. Did you dream last night? I had a weird dream about an old acquaintance, talking and teasing a reunion which we both know will never happen.
11. When did you last laugh? Earlier today when my best friend sent me a text talking about a child in a toy stove and Jews.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? A mirror, a couple of pictures and lots of nothing.
13. Seen anything weird lately? I see weird every single time I leave this house.
14. What do you like to do to relax? Read, write, sleep and do the cha-cha-cha.
15. What is the last film you saw? Does “Marvel’s Iron Fist” over at Netflix count? Nope, since it’s actually a series rather than a real movie. I guess it would be “Blazing Saddles”. It’s become my go-to movie when I need a laugh.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Pay off the old bills, homes that are paid for with land for a few certain special people, a 1972 VW Convertible for my “dream car” and I’d open my own c-store (or chain of) to keep the money making money, a proper investment that I have some knowledge about. And my own website to write on as I see fit and change the world.
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know. I don’t like people, but everyone knows that. I used to deliver newspapers, but that’s common knowledge too. How about I’m a legally ordained minister as of September, 2000.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change? No more racism (or liberal Democrats)…
19. Do you like to dance? I know that it is now and forever my duty to shake my booty.
20. What do you think of the president? He wasn’t my first choice by any means, but he is doing a far better job than I expected, he’s trying to do exactly what he promised he would do and he is our President, so we owe him the opportunity and chance to do just that. And he’s definitely far better than Hillary could ever be.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Theresa Annette Maynard…
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Vincent Paul Maynard or Vincent Alan Maynard…
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? If I had the money and opportunity, I definitely would. I probably still wouldn’t associate with people or mingle any more than I do now though. Have I ever mentioned that I really don’t like people?
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates? Why me Lord? What have I ever done, to deserve even one of the pleasures I’ve known.