Facebook Q&A – August 12, 2017

Facebook Q&A
August 12, 2017
DougMaynard.com

I have been so slack as of late and these questions have backed up quite a bit. It’s time to answer just a few of the more unusual questions I’ve found on my Facebook timeline over the past week or so. I’ve got the sounds of Alice Cooper’s new CD, “Paranormal” rocking in my ears and I am ready so let’s skip the small talk and let’s do this… NOW!

If you had a mutant power, what would you want it to be?

I would usually say telepathy, but then I look back at old comics and just as much bad seems to come with these abilities as good and the learning process of control is a total bitch. Most powers seem to be a double-edged sword and you’re as damned as much as you’re blessed. How about the ablility to talk to and understand, as well as have them understand me, animals. That would be cool in a good way and I’ve always liked animals better than most people anyhow.

Why can’t anyone seem to make a good Fantastic Four movie?

I honestly didn’t think the first couple of big budget attempts with Dr. Doom or the Rise of the Silver Surfer were that bad, but compared to the more modern movies like the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies or even the Netflix series, they are extremely dated and not quite up to par. I don’t get it. It’s a good story and the Fantastic Four are strong characters with an amazing assortment of supporting characters around them. Making a good FF movies should be a no-brainer, but no one has quite figured out the right way to do it. Maybe one day.

Can a person of color be racist?

If a person, whoever they are, thinks that the color of a person’s skin makes them either better or inferior, they’re racist. It doesn’t matter what color that person’s skin is. Race doesn’t make a person better or worse than another person. It’s actions and intentions that matter… nothing else.

If you had a time machine, where or when would you visit first?

If I had a time machine, it’d probably be like a phone booth, just like Bill and Ted had in their excellent adventures. And after a trip back to my childhood years to give my past-self a kick in the ass, I’d like to travel to the twenties for a few weeks, to see how things really were in the U.S. back then. And after that, the old west and hope I don’t get shot.

Do poor people really smell like sour milk?

Only a few of them, who don’t bathe regularly and live near the river.

Why are you and your best friend best friends?

That’s the question, isn’t it? We have little in common, a big age difference and hell, even I don’t get it sometimes. But we just connected and be it fate, karma or just dumb luck, we relate and have a connection that can’t be described. He knows how I think and I can generally, Lord help me, tell what he’s thinking. He’s the Jay to my Silent Bob or the Rick to my Morty (I don’t even watch that show) and to put it simply, it doesn’t have to make sense – it just is. He’s like the son I never had (due to our age difference) and my best friend all mixed into one and I’m proud, honored and extremely glad to have him in my life. He keeps me young and I keep him grounded and it’s just a damn good thing. ‘Nuff said!

You can build your dream home. Money is no object? What would you build?

I want a huge home that looks like Collinwood (of Dark Shadows fame) on the outside, but all modern and sophisticated on the inside, with a pool, a large kitchen and dining area, a classic styled office to work and write from and small guest houses for my friends and family. Lots of woods and secluded area with a lake of course, but only ten – fifteen minutes away from a city so I could have my privacy, but also comfort. About twenty five acres would do it.

New City Hall in Laurinburg? Yes or No and why?

No because quite simply, we don’t need it. Laurinburg needs so many things, such as jobs, street repair, help with the crime and drug problems, lower taxes, a Community Center, ways to attract new businesses to the area, etc. So many needs and our City Council wants to waste ten million dollars on a pretty new building to satisfy their own egos. It just doesn’t make sense.

Best gift you’ve ever received?

My Dad gave me his old car when I was 15 and about to get my license. An incredibly awesome woman gave me this computer I’m writing on now when my old one died. My BFF and his then-woman cooked for me and made me a rainbow cake for my birthday. That was so damn cool. But the best? I had a young man I was messing around with back in the day – he was so damn hot! He also turned out to be a total piece of shit in the end, but for my birthday one year, he gave me himself. I came home and he greeted me at the door wearing nothing but a bow around his neck and a smile. That was amazing.

What is your worst drinking experience that you remember?

Three times come to mind. I remember getting sick after drinking El Toro tequilia, beer and a few other assorted liquors back when I was seventeen. I was good until I started doing the shots and well, it whipped my ass so bad that I swore off El Toro that night and haven’t touched it since. The second time was mixing Mad Dog 20/20 (grape) with Grape slushies. Not a good idea. I mainly remember riding down 15-501 going towards John’s Station with my head hanging out the car window, getting sick and covering the side of the car we were in with a very nasty mixture of Mad Dog, Slushie and my dinner that night. Not a pretty sight. And the final thing I don’t really remember, but have been told about is a night with some of my friends and I was drinking Four Loco. They say I got sloppy and was obnoxious, slurring and hard to deal with. I don’t believe it since I’m always an angel and never misbehave, but my friends won’t let me drink Four Loco anymore so there might be something to that story. Who knows?

Use one word to describe yourself.

“Quirky”

Pick a family to live with: Addams Family, The Brady Bunch, Rosanne?

The Bradys would never work and even though I love Rosanne and her family, I’m too weird to fit in. I’d be a great Addams though.

What was your favorite color Power Ranger?

Which one does the MMA and wants to fight CM Punk? Hell if I can remember. I’ll just say “Black” because I like black.

Do you prefer hot or cold weather?

Give me cold over hot anytime. I can put on clothes to stay warm, but if I get hot, it’s just too damn hard to handle and deal with. I’m hot now. I need a fan or a drink. Where my lemonade at?

And that’s all of this for now. I think a Wrestling Q&A is coming up next. Thanks for reading this. Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated. Take it easy and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Take care.

Ubuntu!

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