Questions By Casper XVI…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper XVI
July 9, 2020
DougMaynard.com

One of the more interesting people that I follow on Twitter is a man named Tyler (The Ghost) Casper. (@tyler_casper) Check him out and give the man some love and a follow. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he asks a lot of questions. And the regular readers of this site know how I am about questions, right? So I went down his Twitter feed and copied several of the most recently asked questions. And now, for your reading pleasure, it’s time to provide a few answers. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

What is something you wish you knew how to do really well?

Talk to and relate to other people. I can do short-term conversations if needed and play it off the rest of the time, but to actually connect with and feel the person, feel a connection, etc, I’m usually at a loss with a few exceptions. I’m not a “people person”. I only play one at work.

Are you a yes man/woman?

I used to be, but then I grew up and changed.  

Would you consider yourself a people person?

I answered this one in the first question. For some people, I can make that connection and it would be yes, but for the majority of humanoids, it’s a big and definite “No!”.

What’s your favorite genre of movie?

Dumb, stupid comedies that make the brain cells scream in agony and musicals. The world would be a much better place if people would just spontaneously break out into song every so often.

Do you talk low or whisper in Doctor offices and such? Or do you talk in a normal voice?

I usually talk in a normal voice, which tends to be quiet and almost a whisper.

Are you good at starting conversations?

Not at all. I might say, “How you doing”, but that’s about the extent of it.  

When parking, do you try to avoid parallel parking?

Absolutely. I’ll drive an extra block if necessary to avoid having to parallel park.

What is one store you hate having to shop at?

For some reason, I despise Carlie C’s, formerly known as Harris Teeter. It’s just too crowded and cramped and I can’t get comfortable. Too bad because they have the cutest bag boys and stockers. And I hate the Nic’s Pic Kwik across from Pine Acres Lodge. I don’t know why, but that store has always just creeped me out.

Do you do unto others as you would have them do unto you?

I try my best. I try to be cool and respectful to everyone until they give me a reason not to.

What is the most confusing thing about religion?

What’s correct and what’s not right. I believe in God, but when you add the “organized” factor to religion, I think it screws the message up. We’re not getting the “word of God”, but just what the person giving the sermon thinks is the word and that doesn’t always work for me. People make mistakes and misunderstand and do the spin to say what they want you to hear rather than just the facts to interpret for yourself. It’s crazy sometimes.

Do you have a mattress protector on your mattress?

I have a fitted sheet, then a real sheet, then a blanket, then a quilt, and then me and my cat. That’s all the protection I need.

Do you have a screen protector on your phone or tablet?

Unfortunately no. I probably should get one though. I keep forgetting.

What is something you’ve been putting off doing that has been eating away at you?

Getting a motel room, getting shit-faced drunk, and being an absolute ho’ for a weekend, preferably away from Laurinburg and Scotland County. I need some time off for bad behavior. And cleaning out my closet.

Do you believe God only created life on this planet?

Nope. This universe is too large and there are too many other planets and galaxies out there. It’s extremely presumptuous to assume that in all of that, we’re the only planet with life. It’s absurd.  

Do you believe you can truly know God while still on this planet?

I believe that learning from and getting to know God is a never-ending practice that continues from conception to death and then beyond. I think some people are more in-tune than others, but knowing God is a different meaning for different people. For some, they achieve this goal. Some never make it.

How do you believe one gets to heaven?

Live a good, try to do well by others, and don’t be a dick!

Do you believe in purgatory?

Yes. It’s also known as Wal-Mart.

Do you believe in hell?

A place for those with no chance for redemption, who are evil beyond all hope. I hope that no one is that bad, but for those that are, there is a place for them and hell would be it. Or Wal-Mart.

Do you believe in heaven?

Heaven is laying in the arms of a very special person, with no fears, no worries, and just absolute affection and bliss. It’s real, but just not for me evidently.  

Money clip or wallet?

Wallet.

What are your feelings towards sweatpants?

They are a fat man’s best friend. And they’re cool too so you can subtly check out the guys and what they’re packing if you catch my drift.

Do you wear sweatshirts year round?

I’m not really big on sweatshirts. I prefer t-shirts and button-ups.

Have you ever fallen up a flight of stairs?

More times than I care to think about or admit to. Yes.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions to ask, feel free to drop me a line. Let’s chat. And with that, I’m out of here. Have a great day, stay safe, and watch out for the crazies. Take care and I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

@0000

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