Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper X
June 26, 2020
DougMaynard.com

One of the more interesting people that I follow on Twitter is a man named Tyler (The Ghost) Casper. (@tyler_casper) Check him out and give the man some love and a follow. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he asks a lot of questions. And the regular readers of this site know how I am about questions, right? So I went down his Twitter feed and copied several of the most recently asked questions. And now, for your reading pleasure, it’s time to provide a few answers. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

Are you a risk-taker?

Only when I’m with your boyfriend or husband. The last thing I need is a crazy woman coming after me because I “stole her man!”.

If success had a smell, what do you think it would smell like?

Freshly cut wood and cinnamon.

When was the last time you purchased a mattress?

I don’t think I ever have. I always end up with my sister’s hand-me-downs, but she buys a new one every 5 years or so.

How often do you visit your happy place?

Not nearly enough. I think my “happy place” was shut down by the pandemic.

Do you know what your spirit animal is?

It has to be some sort of cat.

What is your favorite store to go window shopping at?

If I’m shopping for windows, I think it would have to be Lowes.

How has liberalism not been officially classified as a mental disease yet?

I don’t know, but Trump Derangement Syndrome is real and unfortunately way too common. It’s an epidemic.

What are you planning on doing today?

Writing for a while, drinking some Diet Dews, reading, napping, and texting my bro later tonight. May be getting a motel room tonight and getting shit-faced drunk and turn into a crazed whore-man. Not sure on that last part yet though.

What is your favorite store to shop at?

I enjoy Roses, any toy store and the Habitat Restore place. I like odd stuff and junk.

What is something that just doesn’t make sense to you?

How people can listen to politicians like Nancy, Maxine, Schumer, etc and the lies they blatantly tell time and time again and think that these people actually are working for them and give a damn about them. And that people actually think that Joe Biden is competent enough to be President of the United States. Or that Hillary is honest. Politics in general don’t make much sense anymore.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how stressed are you? 1 is not a bit and 10 being insane?

After the news, I received from my doctor yesterday and just in general dealing with my family and life, probably a strong 8 or 8.5. I need a night off for bad behavior… badly.

Are you a handy person?

I can be, but it depends on the situation.

Is there such a thing as a “free meal”?

As a wise man (Alice Cooper) said many years ago in a great song from the Last Temptation album, “Nothing’s Free!”. There is always a cost of some kind. Always.

What do you think is the real cost of freedom?

Freedom is an illusion and not real. There are always rules, compromises, and a price to pay for the feeling of being free, real, or not.

What does “honorable” mean to you?

Honorable is someone who is straight up, keeps their word, and has the best of intentions. And if things are not as one hopes, they’ll be direct and forward and not try to make excuses. People who are real.

What does “nobility” mean to you?

One with a regal bearing and just an aura of being the shit that clings to them.

What is the funniest thing someone has ever said to you when you woke them up?

Hey man, were you sleeping?

What is your favorite grilled Vegetable?

Does a baked potato count? Those are pretty cool when cooked on the grill. Or maybe Stephen Hawkins when he was cremated. Is he dead? Hell, I don’t know. I’m trying to be funny and I didn’t want to bring up crippled Jews in the Concentration Camps. That might be offensive. I guess I’ll stick with the potatoes.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions, drop me a line so we can chat. Use the comment box below, my e-mail address of Doug28352@yahoo.com, or find me on Twitter at @Doug28352. Follow me and I follow back. And with that, I’m out of here. I have questions to answer, lunch to eat, clothes to wash, and lots of other stuff too. Until the next time, stay safe and take care. I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!