Flashback: Thirty Days Of Dougie (2013) – MTV, Magic & Lipstick…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Flashback: Thirty Days Of Dougie (2013)
MTV, Magic & Lipstick
DougMaynard.com

Another flashback to the days before there even was a DougMaynard.com. Yes, there was a Doug Maynard (that’s me) and I was blogging and writing and being a force of nature (not literally, but figuratively) of the writing genre. I was country before it was cool. Once more, not literally, but you get the idea. Let’s get on with it, shall we. And away we go.

Thirty Days of Dougie – Part 22: MTV, Magic, and Lipstick

Feeling a little bit lazy this morning (as opposed to every other morning where I feel a lot lazy… lol). It’s going to be one of those lazy, useless kind of days anyhow. It’s freakin’ cold outside, which means of course that I’ve got to keep my fat ass inside. I do have to go out later today (three times at least). Around 11:00 am or so, I’ll be headed down to Food Lion to pick up for the food bank. That’s always fun. And at 3:00 pm, I have to go to work (on my day off, no less) for a mandatory store meeting. If it’s anything like the last meeting we had (which I missed entirely because someone had to run the cash register), it’s going to be a lot of hearing things that I already know and some pompous gesturing from a couple of my co-workers trying to make themselves look important and knowledgable. I’ve got news for these two persons, who from what I understand dominated the last meeting with meaningless questions and nonsense talk – better to remain quiet and be thought a fool rather than to speak and remove all doubt. And are they truly fools? Well, I have no doubt.

And then, after the meeting is over and I come back home, it’ll be (hopefully) time to head out to the ImFamousTV studios and confer with our fearless leader about the direction that InFamousTV is headed and also make a few videos. I’ve been informed that the snitch bitch, Vincent Paul Phillips wants to make a rebuttal about a video that was directed towards him. And he may also have some more secrets about the ImFamousTV family/crew to spill. Who knows? Plus I want to go on camera and do a “Tossing Salt” video with some talk about Sunday and the Royal Rumble. Just a few match predictions and talk about the WWE’s third-largest pay per view event of the year and maybe even some talk about the WWE Hall of Fame as well. So I’m hoping that tonight will be an Infamous kind of night and we can get a lot of videos and other stuff done for the page. Our fans demand it. Okay, maybe it’s just the voices in my head demanding stuff (pushy voices need to know their role and shut their mouth), but regardless of who’s doing the demanding, it’s time for action. 

Before I start the “Thirty Days” piece for the day, I want to make a quick comment about something. During the whole election cycle, President Obama said frequently and with absolute assurance that under his plans and proposals, absolutely NO ONE who makes under $250,000 a year will see their taxes increase one penny. Everyone heard him say that over and over and over. Got my paycheck yesterday and guess what? My taxes that are deducted almost doubled. A co-worker who only worked 33 hours brought home $40 more bucks on her check than I did when I worked 37 hours. And we make the same wage. So what were you saying, Mr. President? With all due respect, you are a liar, sir! Aw, screw the respect. You be a lying ass ho’, biatch! ‘Nuff said!

Now, let’s move on and do the “Thirty Days” piece. It’s January 23, 2013, and this is “Part 22”. 

Okay, I just got a phone call from my manager. The meeting is off for today and has (most likely) been postponed until tomorrow. Works for me. Let’s go find the magic box. And the topics for today are: “MTV”, “magic” and “lipstick”… That’s a weird triad of topics to work from, but the magic box has spoken so let’s do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie – Part 22: MTV, Magic and Lipstick

January 23, 2013

So start off with MTV, which of course stands for “music television”, which is a great oxymoron in itself because MTV doesn’t play music anymore. We have shows about the Jersey Shore and teenage moms and the ever-so-classic “Real World” stuff, but where is the music? MTV, when it first started out was an amazing thing. We had music and music videos twenty-four / seven. And it was good. It was damn good and exciting. True that there were a few specialized shows like “Headbangers Ball”, “Just Say Julie” starring the ever-so-incredible Julie Brown, and the game show, “Remote Control”. And we had Beavis and Butthead too. 

And then something happened. All the music began to vanish and be crowded into afternoon mini-clips with the TRL show and late at night when no one was watching. The network execs decided that reality tv was the way to go and we got such shows as “The Real World / Road Rules Challenge”, “Jersey Shore” and other such crap. Where was the music? Where were the videos? Where were the VJ’s? Where was Pauly Shore? It’s all Snooki, The Situation, re-runs of “Behind The Music” and Beyonce videos that, despite what Kayne West might think, suck! 

For music videos now, you have to go to Fuse (who plays edited clips), VH1-Classics (who play mostly 80’s and 90’s videos), and BET (who play shit, but shows lots of boobs and booty so people watch them anyhow.) And CMT plays the country music videos in the morning hours before showing Larry the Cable Guy and reruns of Dukes of Hazard at night. 

It’s just not the same anymore. To actually experience real “music television”, one has to go to YouTube or some high numbered channel on your cable package that plays songs 24-7 (but not videos). MTV isn’t music television anymore. It’s just a shadow of itself and what used to be. And that is sad.

Can you tell that I just lost interest in this topic midway through the paragraphs? I was trying to hold a text conversation while writing this and then the other person who lives in this house came home and has been hovering around and pretty much annoying the hell out of me for the last fifteen minutes. Too damn many distractions. I’ll finish up the last two topics in a little while after I go hide away in my room and attempt to refrain from snapping. Yeah, it is that annoying. I’ll be back in a bit to talk about magic and lipstick (and maybe magic lipstick too… lol).

And now my sister just pulled into the driveway. Oy vey. Shoot me now!

Okay, now it’s a few hours later. I had to do the “family thing” and then ended up riding across town with my mother to run some errands. And we survived. I’m not saying that Ma is a bad driver, but regardless of being in town or on the highway, she drives the same speed (SLOW) and is constantly looking in every direction but straight ahead, trying to be nosy and see what’s going on. She scares the crap out of me.

But we did that and I survived and my nerves were shot. Absolutely, totally freakin’ shot! So I came into the house and went to my room to relax and rest for a bit. How did that work out? Not too good. I only slept about 45 minutes and had the weirdest, most freaky dream. The details are quickly fading from my mind, but I was woken from this dream by my nigga texting me. And I’m so damn glad he did. I’m more tired now than when I laid down and I’m so freakin’ sore. It’s like someone came in and totally beat my ass. And while I don’t mind that sometimes, in the proper context of things (beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks… lol), this just isn’t fun at all. I think I have bruises. What the… ? 

But I’m showered and awake and getting ready to head out again to go to InFamousTV headquarters. Well, I was getting ready, but then I realized that I hadn’t finished this masterpiece in the making yet and time (the day) was nearly over. What about my millions (and millions) of Dougie-fans? So here I am now and I’m going to finish this up with the final two topics.

Magic? It’s real! Believe it!

And lipstick. It doesn’t look good on me so I don’t wear it. 

And there you go. I’m Doug and I am out of here. Back tomorrow with Part 23. 

Ubuntu!

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