Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
An Exasperating Day
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

It’s 4:46 AM and as usual, I can’t sleep so I’m awake and washing/drying clothes. Man, yesterday was a long day and I am so glad it’s over with. Do you want some details? Well, ready or not, here they come.

The day started with arguments. I’ve spoken of this before, but not in much detail. We had a new bathroom installed. There are a few minor issues, but overall, it looks good in my opinion. And of course, my mother isn’t happy. I love her to death, but regardless of what it is, she will not be satisfied. Jesus could come to the local church to baptize a child and she would start complaining that he didn’t do it right. Yes, it gets that bad sometimes. The guys who did the bathrooms are acquaintances of mine, but I refused to get involved in anything that was going on because I knew that I’d be hearing about how “my friends” don’t know how to do their job, how they did this and that wrong, etc, for years to come. But she went on a tear yesterday and started yelling at me to call “my friends”. And I refused, telling her that she’s been dealing with them and I’m staying out of it. And it escalated and went downhill from there.

Then my would-vac on my foot started acting up. I had a toe and part of my left foot amputated a couple of weeks ago and am now wearing a machine to help speed up the healing process. It wasn’t keeping up the proper pressure. I did all I knew to try and fix it, but nothing seemed to get it right. Finally, after getting extremely annoyed, I called the people to send out a nurse and hopefully get this thing running again correctly. No answer and I leave a message. Several hours later, I finally get a call-back and the nurse will be coming over in a couple of hours. Then she calls back. The weather is bad and she has to come from Spring Lake, roughly 45-50 miles away. Can we wait until tomorrow? I agreed because I hate driving in the rain as well and she’ll be here later today instead.

That being said, I removed the Wound-Vac from my foot, did a Wet-Dry wrap with Gauze, and sat down to watch the WWE Backlash: France PLE. Before I go any further, the show from France was excellent. The matches were longer, but the action was fast, intense, and brutal, and the crowd was amazing. It was a damn good show. Now, what was I saying?

I’m washing clothes and watching the wrestling. And of course, I get a missed phone call and a text message. My future ex-husband and current person of interest is calling. It’s raining and he’s walking towards town from his place of residence out in the middle of nowhere. Can I please come get him and give him a ride? I hate driving in the rain and I’m already stressed out, but of course, I say yes. I go out to get him, just because he’s a sweet and awesome dude and gives the most amazing hugs. They’re better than most sex. It’s true. It’s damn true. But anyhow, I make that ride and between driving in the rain, the limited visibility, and the dumb-ass drivers who don’t use headlights, it was a scary ride. I really must be in love with this dude. There is only one other person that I would do this for and yes Kenneth, you are still my #1 brother and best friend. Never forget that.

But long story short, bad rain and I’m still driving. My nerves are shot, my foot is hurting, and I do not want to be out in that mess. I picked up Mon Cher and we rode uptown to do what needed to be done and then back to his house. The rain finally stopped and we sat in the truck, talking about a wide range of topics. This guy is never boring and it was excellent. And then I felt a fart developing. Guess what? It’s not a fart.

I excused myself, got some major hug therapy, and headed home. Did I make it? Just barely, but it was a close call. Too close. I made it though. And then it was to finish watching the wrestling, clean up some cat pee that my lovely fur-baby left as a present on the kitchen floor, and to my room to take a nap. The story ends there, right? Well, maybe not.

I had a dream and it wasn’t a good one. Last Thursday morning, when speaking to one of my doctors at the Wound Center, I got some mixed messages. First, she told me that I was one of her favorite patients and she loved my positive spirit and energy. And I’m thinking, ‘You talking about me?’. And on a more serious note, she told me that most likely, unless we get some major changes and essentially a miracle, I’m going to probably lose my left foot within the next 1-2 years. I already lost my right foot 2 1\2 years ago and now, she’s talking about going from a paraplegic to a full-fledged Weeble in a chair full time. Yeah, that was hard to hear, but I haven’t let it sink in too much as of yet. I did resolve to myself that I was going to make a liar out of Dr. Sisi and prove her wrong by keeping my left foot until my final days. I’m a bit on the stubborn side and nothing makes me happier than defying the odds and proving those who stand against me wrong.

But that being said, all of this has been weighing on my mind a lot as one might expect and during my nap today, with all of the other stressful moments poking the bear, I had some dreams that screwed with me. I woke up having an anxiety attack, unable to breathe, and not sure of where I even was. I was soaked in sweat and my face was covered in sweat and tears. I had to count my legs to make sure my left one was still there. And here we are now.

Did I mention that within minutes of pulling myself into the kitchen and to my computer, my older cat, Stormie, jumped up in front of me and puked all over my desk calendar and keyboard? And yeah, I freaked. I cleaned it all up and then, after throwing away a handful of puke-covered paper towels, I just sat here and cried. And then went and got clothes out of the dryer, folding them. And here we are now.

Yeah, life can be a bitch sometimes and I guess Karma, from some of my wilder times in the past, is showing up now to collect her dues. All I want to do is spend time with my Bro-son, hold my future ex-husband in my arms for a bit with those Uber Hugs, and write about comics, music, and wrestling. Is that too much to ask? I feel so lost and alone right now. I know the feelings will pass and I’ll be able to drift back into my weird little world soon enough, but still. DAMN! And I guess I’ll close this up for now. I didn’t mean to go so long or get into so much detail about personal stuff, but it’s cool. Unless it’s about wrestling or the No Chaser stuff, no one reads these things anyhow. The Days of Dougie are for me. It’s cheaper than seeing a shrink and far less chance of getting locked up on the third floor in Lumberton. Less chance of dying too. The stories I’ve heard about that place.

But I’ve gone on long enough. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated, I’m going to close this up for now and go back to bed. I can see a few early strains of sunlight starting to creep into the morning sky and it’s time. Have a great day and I’ll be back in a few hours with some wrestling stuff. As the legendary Baron Von Raschke often said, “That is all the people need to know!”. I’ll talk to you later, my Peeps.

Ubuntu!