Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #40
Random Twitter Q&A
April 11, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is your favorite thing to do on the internet?

Read, listen to music, write, and watch cheap porn on Pornhub, trying to figure out “How do they do that?”, while I take notes.

When making the first move, who do you think should do it first? The guy or the girl?

Whoever wants to do it and get things moving. It could be the girl or it could be the guy or it could be the confused one who isn’t sure what they are. This is 2023 after all. Who makes the first move? It makes no difference to me.

What was your hometown like?

It used to be a nice place, but now it’s an entitlement community where no one wants to work, everyone depends on the government for a check, and you can’t leave your car or doors unlocked, or let your children outside to play. And if have to go out, be armed and ready for anything. The druggies have taken over and there are shootings every night. And the bad part is, we’re not anywhere near the worst community or city. Look at Robeson County. Look at Marlboro County. Scotland County and Laurinburg still have a few good people and some hope left, but it’s dwindling fast.

Would you rather hike to a mountain peak or deep dive into a sunken ship?

My fat ass isn’t hiking anywhere. But diving into the ocean and exploring the wreckage of a sunken ship? That would be awesome. Where do I sign up?

What do you find funny but most people don’t?

Pretty much everything and anything. I tend to have a dark and somewhat sick sense of humor. If it’s wrong, inappropriate, and even the slightest bit offensive, I’m probably rolling and literally LOL.

Which traits did you inherit from your parents?

Being independent, having a work ethic, good taste in music, being stubborn as hell, and being tight with the money when necessary. For all of that, I blame Mom and Dad. And for my sense of humor, I blame the milkman and Don Rickles.

What is that one thing you would never exchange in your life for anything?

My family, both blood and adopted and that damn cat of mine. Of course, nobody has made any offers though.

Is there anything that makes you cry?

For the past few years, almost anything can set off allergies, be it a movie scene, a memory, a conversation, or even just my damn cat. I’ve gotten soft in my old age.

Most don’t know how the world was formed, Most don’t know how the world will end – what are you thinking?

I wasn’t around for the beginning and I seriously doubt I’ll be around for the ending so as bad as it may sound, I don’t care.

Buying what keeps you the happiest?

Alcohol, hookers, and wrestling tickets. Just kidding about two out of three of those, maybe. I’ll go with goofy t-shirts, comics, and stuff for my cat.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, it’s time to go eat dinner. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!