12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 4: Beef Jerky, Swamp Monsters and A Christmas Story…

12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 4
Beef Jerky, Swamp Monsters and A Christmas Story…
December 12, 2017
DougMaynard.com

How you doing? It’s Day 4 and yes, I know that this was supposed to go up yesterday, but guess what? It just didn’t happen. Yesterday was a long and very busy day, going from 5:30am until just a little past 11:00pm when I fell asleep on the couch and sitting down and relaxing (and writing) just didn’t happen. My apologies. So that means today, we get two Days of Dougie, Christmas style. Yay! Are you excited? I know I am. Well, actually, I’m more ready to go back to bed than actually excited or enthusiastic about anything, but I know that if I do give in to the urge, nothing (and the Rock says, “Nothing!”) will be accomplished today. I just had a flashback to the Attitude Era of the WWE. Good times. Let’s figure out what the topics for today are and get this over with, shall we?

From the “Magic Bag”, the Christmas themed one, we have, “Write A Christmas Story!”. Oh vey! That doesn’t sound like the quick and easy piece I was hoping for. I guess “quick and easy” is the guy I was talking to on MeetMe a couple of nights ago. Very sexy! But I can do this. It’ll probably be lame as hell, but I have to do what the “Magic Bag” tells me. That’s the whole nature to this blog series and the “Days of Dougie” concept. And should I draw another topic from the real “Magic Bag”? Of course I should and that topic is, “Swamp Monster”. Okay then. Not sure how that is going to work so let’s draw one more and hope for a winner. And we have “Beef Jerky”. Yeah, that’s a keeper too.

I think I mentioned that the fun about this whole thing is the randomness of the topics and how I don’t know what I’m writing about until I actually get ready to start writing. And sometimes, we get something good and it’s fun and entertaining for me and other times, it’s more of a challenge and probably will stink to hig heaven. Guess where I think this piece will be going? Oh well… I’ve always appreciated a good challenge and to keep this from stinking worse than Daniel Otunga or Booker T on commentary (mandatory wrestling reference), it’s going to be a doozy. Can someone just shoot me now? Let’s do this…

Beef Jerky…

I love Slim Jims. Does that even qualify as “beef jerky”? I’d rather not read the actual ingredients and find out because I do actually like the product and would rather not know exactly what it is that they’re composed of. I’m sure that there is beef in there somewhere. And pork, chicken, cat, possum, squirrel and lots of crazy chemicals that keep it all fresh and tasty. And would Slim Jims even truly count as a form of beef jerky or would that just be the stuff in the packs that never seem to go on sale when I have that craving and the whole bag vanishes far too quickly when I want just “one piece”. I guess they’re all one and the same or at least close enough that it really doesn’t matter. They’re in the same section at the grocery store so that counts for something, right?

By the way, disclaimer time here just in case any legal minds are reading this and represent the Slim Jim company. I don’t actually think that there is cat, squirrel or possum meat in their products. That’s just a joke so don’t sue me. We all know that the only place to find good cat, squirrel or possum is at the Chinese restaurant on the buffet table next to the fried rice and egg rolls. But damn, it is so good. I would love me some Sweet & Sour Chicken (wink, wink) right now. What’s that meowing sound?

And I can’t really think of anything worth saying about beef jerky that I haven’t already touched upon. Yeah, I’m slacking here. I do that sometimes. Oh yeah, I just remembered something. Way back when I was with Dairy Mart, we had a sales rep come around trying to sell us a variety of different meat sticks (insert sexual joke here) and that was pretty cool. It was jerky made of buffalo, alligator and something else. I tried them and they were actually pretty good. And I’ve also tried, in the past, jerky made of deer meat. It’s okay, but every time I think of deer, I want to scream out, “Oh my God, you killed Bambi!”. And then someone else can add, “You bastard!”. It’s great fun and the producers of South Park really like it when you do that. The people at Disney don’t, but they’re controlled by an evil mouse so who cares.

So what was I saying? Jerky is good and I like it, but I prefer real beef stuff and not the other animals that should be in animated movies or National Geographic series and not in a plastic wrapper getting eaten. I want a Slim Jim. Snap into it. And now, let’s move on.

Swamp Monster…

Does anyone else even remember the “Lizard Man” from South Carolina back in the late 80’s? Whatever happened with all of that. For those of you that don’t remember or know of what I’m talking about, I’ll try and explain. Better yet, I’ll post the Wikipedia entry for the so-called creature. Here you go…

“The Lizard Man is generally described as being 7 feet (2.1 m) tall, bipedal, and bulky, covered in dark green scaly lizard-like skin. It is said to have three toes on each foot and three fingers on each hand. The creature has an incredible degree of strength, more than capable of ripping into a car. A few witnesses have reported seeing a tail, although in the majority of cases, a tail was not seen.

Davis sighting.

The first reported sighting of the creature was made by Christopher Davis, a 17-year-old local, who said he encountered the creature while driving home from work at 2 a.m. on June 29, 1988. According to his account, Davis stopped on a road bordering Scape Ore Swamp in order to change a tire which had blown out. When he was finishing up he reported having heard a thumping noise from behind him and having turned around to see the creature running towards him.

Davis said the creature tried to grab at the car and then jumped on its roof as he tried to escape, clinging on to it as Davis swerved from side to side in an effort to throw it off. After he returned home, Davis’ side-view-mirror was found to be badly damaged, and scratch marks were found on the car’s roof, though there was no other physical evidence of his encounter.

“I looked back and saw something running across the field towards me. It was about 25 yards away and I saw red eyes glowing. I ran into the car and as I locked it, the thing grabbed the door handle. I could see him from the neck down – the three big fingers, long black nails and green rough skin. It was strong and angry. I looked in my mirror and saw a blur of green running. I could see his toes and then he jumped on the roof of my car. I thought I heard a grunt and then I could see his fingers through the front windshield, where they curled around on the roof. I sped up and swerved to shake the creature off.”
Chris’ father, prompted by a story that ran in the newspaper of a strange car mauling, brought his terrified son to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office on July 16, 1988, at which time he told his story to Sheriff Liston Truesdale.

Strange car mauling

Prior to Chris Davis coming forward to report his encounter, the Lee County Sheriff’s Office was called to the scene of a strange instance of vehicle damage. On the morning of July 14, 1988, deputies made their way to the residence, which was located in a small rural community known as Browntown on the outskirts of Bishopville, South Carolina. When they arrived, homeowners Tom and Mary Waye showed them the vehicle in question. Police found that the chrome molding had been torn away from the fenders, the sides of the car were scratched and dented, the hood ornament was broken, the antenna was bent, and even some wires from the motor had been ripped out. Upon closer inspection, it appeared that parts of the molding had actually been chewed, as if an animal had used its teeth to inflict the damage. To further support the animal theory, the Wayes pointed out clumps of reddish colored hair and muddy footprints that had been left all over the car. While Sheriff Truesdale was investigating the car, locals informed him there might yet be another, more bizarre possibility. “While we were there looking over this situation, we learned that people in the Browntown community had been seeing a strange creature about seven feet tall with red eyes,” Truesdale said. “Some of them described it as green, but some of them as brown. They thought it might be responsible for what happened [to the car].”

In the month that followed the Davis sighting there were several further reports of a large lizardlike creature, and of unusual scratches and bite marks found on cars parked close to the swamp. Most of these are said to have occurred within a 3-mile (5 km) radius of the swamps of Bishopville.[8]

At the time, local law enforcement officials reacted to reports of the Lizard Man with a mixture of concern and skepticism, stating that a sufficient number of sightings had been made by apparently reliable people for them to believe that something tangible was being seen, but also that it was more likely to be a bear than a Lizard Man.

Two weeks after the Davis sighting, the sheriff’s department made several plaster casts of what appeared to be three-toed footprints – measuring some 14 inches (36 cm) in length – but decided against sending them on to the FBI for further analysis after biologists advised them that they were unclassifiable. According to South Carolina Marine Resources Department spokesperson Johnny Evans the tracks neither matched, nor could be mistaken for, the footprints of any recorded animal. Evans also dismissed the possibility that they could have been made by some form of mutated creature.

The sightings attracted tourists interested in seeing the creature and hunters interested in tracking it, and nearby radio station WCOS offered a $1 million reward to anybody who could capture the creature alive. However, reports of the creature began to decline at the end of the summer with the last credible sighting of the year being reported in July.

On August 5 Kenneth Orr, an airman stationed at Shaw Air Force Base, filed a report with the police saying that he had encountered the Lizard Man on highway 15, and that he had shot and wounded it. He presented several scales and a small quantity of blood as evidence. Orr recanted this account two days later when he was arraigned for unlawfully carrying a pistol, and the misdemeanor offense of filing a false police report. According to Orr, he had invented the sighting in order to keep stories about the Lizard Man in circulation.

On July 30, 1990, Bertha Blythers and her five children witnessed a strange creature near Scape Ore Swamp as they drove home from a restaurant in Bishopville. At approximately 10:30 p.m., they crossed over the interstate and were nearing the intersection of Hickory Hill Road when suddenly a large figure appeared out of nowhere and lunged toward the passenger side of the car. In a statement given to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, Bertha described the creature as being tall, wide, and having “two arms like a human.” She could only see it from the waist up, but there was no question that it was “big.” She was not able to make out any clear facial details in the short time it was in front of her, but she was quite sure the body was covered in brown hair. “I never seen anything like it before,” she told the police. “It wasn’t a deer or a bear. It was definitely not a person either.”

So it was all real and supposedly true. I remember this being big news and people were really scared and upset and talking about this all over the place. John Boy & Billy, on their syndicated radio program, “The Big Show”, had a great time with the story and I even remember t-shirts being made. It was so weird and different and became a great urban legend for Bishopville, SC and for South Carolina in general. Go read the entire Wikipedia article, listed under “Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp”. Or just google it, “Lizard Man of South Carolina”. It’s some fun reading.

And that was not where I planned to go with that topic, but I guess I’ll save the stories about the noises from out behind Jim & LeeAnn’s house and the adventures with Rabbit, the Scotland County Sheriff’s office and all of that for a later time. Let’s wrap this booger up.

A Christmas Story…

I woke up. “Damn, it’s too early”, I thought to myself as I staggered from my bed to the bathroom. Then I looked at the clock. “I hate Monday!” And then I realized, “I’m off today! It’s a holiday and we’re closed. It’s Christmas! I don’t have to get up!”. Smiling to myself, I went back to bed and pulled the covers up over my head and went back to sleep. And just as I was falling back asleep, the sounds of “No More Mister Nice Guy”, by Alice Cooper filled the room. My phone was going off. I turned and glared at the phone, all lit up and screaming at me. I reached over and picked it up. A text message from my brother. Slowly, I pushed the right buttons and read the message that was preventing me from going back to sleep. “Merry Christmas my brother! Love you!”, it said. I read the message once more. And then the phone went off again. More sounds of Alice. Another message. “Come over!”, it said. I sighed once more and started to get up. I can sleep later. Time to go see my family. Time to spend Christmas chilling with the people who matter most to me. And that’s what I did. Merry Christmas Peeps!

And there you go. Yes, it was short and lame, but I’m just winging it here. I haven’t even had a shower yet or my first Pepsi so with that in mind, I think we’re doing pretty good.

And that’s all for now. I’ve still got Day 5 to do at some point today and I will. Other stuff is coming too. Thank you for reading. And now, I need a shower… and a Pepsi. And a good massage. I’m out of here. Until the next time, take care and be safe. Love you.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 12 Days 2

Wrestling Fact or Fiction – December 11, 2017

Tossing Salt Presents:
Wrestling Fact or Fiction
December 11, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Let’s do this Fact or Fiction thing. Thanks to 411mania.com/wrestling for the questions. And the rest of it, that’s just me baby. Here we go…

1. Roman Reigns is The Best In Ring Performer in The World.

FICTION: Roman is a good wrestler and better than most people want to give him credit for, but best in the world? Give me a break. So long as AJ Styles, Cesaro, HHH, Charlotte Flair, Asuka, Kevin Owens, etc, are all active and performing, Roman isn’t even the best in the WWE. He’s getting better each and every match, but he still has a ways to go.

2. WWE running live events for the 205 Live brand, even on a limited basis, is an idea destined to fail.

FICTION: Running limited shows might just be the right thing that will get the 205 Brand over the humps and make it more viable and stronger. Having Enzo and Itami as the top guys is a good move as well and I could see the shows doing well and giving the Cruiserweights a big boost. It’s putting another option out there for the fans of the lighter, faster high flying wrestlers and if booked correctly, with strong stories and great wrestling, could be successful. It also could bomb, but at least the WWE is trying here and that is a good thing.

3. Paige’s Absolution stable has been booked very well so far.

FACT: So far, so good. The Absolution stable has taken out everyone and looked very strong. Paige wrestled a long match on Monday night and looked great, showing very little ring rust after her long break from the ring. I’m sure that eventually, WWE Creative will find a way to screw this up and bury these three ladies, but hopefully, it’ll be later rather than sooner. So far though, they’re batting 1000.

4. The Shield reunion is only being done in order to bayface “The Big Dog” Roman Reigns to the WWE Universe.

FICTION: That is part of it to be sure, but it’s also about merchandising and making money, plus giving the fans something different and a blast of happy nostalgia. Also, it keeps Roman, Seth and Ambrose relevant and on top of the card while allowing the title scene to be dominated by others for a change. Yes, I know that Roman won the Intercontinental Championship from Miz, but that was because Miz is off making a movie with Becky Lynch and HBK. He’ll find a way to get that title back when he returns and we’ll see Roman and his Shield buddies continue in their battles against The Bar and Samoa Joe and or The Miztourage with no titles involved as we build to the Royal Rumble and then Wrestlemania.

5. Keeping Nia Jax away from the Raw women’s scene while the Absolution group takes time to get over is smart.

FACT: Nia has a tremendous upside and is a very special woman on the RAW roster so when she does end up confronting Paige and the Absolution group, it should be a big and special moment that stands out and means something. Building towards that moment and protecting Nia as the resident “monster” of the Women’s Division is smart and good booking by WWE (for a change).

6. What is your current level of interest in “Woken Matt Hardy” in WWE?

On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m going with a solid 8. Matt was more entertaining this past week than he has been during his entire return to WWE. He’s having fun and it’s DELIGHTFUL to see Matt able to just cut loose and bring the Broken Universe to the WWE and especially against Bray Wyatt. If Vince and Creative just back off and let Matt and Bray book this feud, it will be EPIC beyond all measure. This is either going to be really really good or else it’s going to fizzle out and die a painful and agonizing death. I’m going positive here and can’t wait to see how Matt tries to DELETE Wyatt’s evil presence from the WWE Universe.

And that’s all the Fact or Fiction stuff. All feedback is welcome and appreciated. Talk to me, my Peeps! Thanks for reading and until the next time, have a great one. Take care.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ wrestling fof

12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 3: Grandma’s House, Jay & Silent Bob & The Perfect Present…

12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 3
Grandma’s House, Jay & Silent Bob & The Perfect Present
December 10, 2017
DougMaynard.com

It’s Day 3 and it’s a lovely Sunday morning. I decided to sleep late and managed to stay in bed until almost 10:00. Yay for me since my usual waking up time is 9:00 am most days and on the days I open at the store, around 6:30 am. Of course, I don’t usually go to bed until around 2 – 2:30 am so it’s not as peachy as it sounds. I need more sleep. I also need better time management skills, to start walking again for exercise and a personal assistant, preferably a young, cute man with a great ass. On second thought, in today’s crazy world where everything is sexual harassment and vile, evil and disgusting, any assistant that I had would probably be calling Gloria Allred within a week and be holding a press conference. Truthfully, I’m glad I’m not rich and famous (thank you wrestling) because given my natural dirty mind and mouth and how I used to act sometimes back when I was drinking (blame it on the alcohol), it probably wouldn’t be a pretty picture. Yeah, your boy here was something of a perv back in the day. But I’m doing much better now and I totally behave myself 100% of the time. Unless you’re young and cute and we’re talking on social media or Instant messenger or in private or not so private, but I like your eyes or butt or whatever. And then, it’s on. Oh vey, I’m going to get sued one day.

By the way, all of the above, I’m joking… really. I am always the perfect gentleman with every guy I talk to or meet. Really, I am. Quit laughing. I think I should change the subject. Go Trump! Let’s move on.

So what’s on the agenda for today? Well, I think I’m going to get a bit nostalgic and write a little bit about my Grandma Vick and our trips, when I was a child, to her home up in South Point, Ohio. That’s one topic. And the others will be… Let’s reach into the “Magic Bag” and find out. We’ve got “Jay & Silent Bob” from regular bag and from the special “Christmas edition” bag, we’ve got “The Perfect Present”. Looks like we’ve got our topics for the day with “Grandma’s House”, “Jay & SIlent Bob” and the “Perfect Present”. Let’s do this…

The Perfect Present…

How do you select the right gift for someone, especially around Christmas or their birthday? It’s never easy to do. You look for something that you know that they’ll like or something practical that they can use and try to stay within your budget and no matter what you decide upon, it’s probably wrong. Buying for youngsters and kids is easy. They want toys or games for their Play Station and nothing else. Get a cool toy, add in a shirt or pants for practical purposes to prove that you’re still a responsible adult and not just a big kid yourself and you’re done. Then they get older and no matter what you decide that they might like, it’s wrong and while they may put on the fake smile and act all excited and happy, inside they’re going “what the hell?”. That’s when you just start giving cash or gift cards. They’re not as personal or as much fun and don’t require much thought, but they work every time. That way, the gift recipient can get what they want and use the money or card as they please. You did your part and they get to make the final call and be happy. And then, finally, you get the older person. I won’t mention her name (Mom), but they don’t want anything. They get offended if you give them money, yet whatever else you get isn’t what they want or need and they say thank you, but the gift is put away in a closet and only brought out again when they know you’ll be visiting. The best thing here is a card with money enclosed and take them out for dinner… or cook them dinner if they’re as anti-social as I… I mean “:you” are. They don’t want anything anyhow, but your time and patience and company. Is it really too much to give? So the perfect gift is just give yourself… you really can’t go wrong there.

Jay & Silent Bob…

Two characters, portrayed by Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes, who are featured in most of Smith’s movies, the ones centered in the View Askew Universe, and they are something else. Kevin is “Silent Bob” and he’s, as his name implies, the quiet one. He only speaks when he has something to say, remaining most of the time the silent observer, chain smoking and watching in wide-eyed wonder as the world passes by and at the antics of his best friend and “hetero-life mate”, Jay. And Jay, he can and will do anything, has no censor between his brain and his mouth, is a human time bomb of utter craziness and beneath it all, has a heart of gold. Based on the real life friendship and relationship of Smith & Mewes, Jay & Silent Bob are the perfect combination. Bob is the voice of reason in a world of insanity and Jay is the loose cannon that says and does what Bob would like to do, but can’t or won’t. They are the ying to the yang, the Spock to the Kirk, the Robin to the Batman, the Willie to the Waylon, the Double-A to the Nature Boy, the HHH to the HBK, etc. I can go on and on with this, but the bottom line is that they are two bodies and one soul that doesn’t make sense and shouldn’t work, but still does. Everyone should have themselves a Jay or a Silent Bob in their lives, depending on which one they are.

And with that in mind, I’m lucky that I have exactly that, literally it seems. My BFF is Jay to a tee.He’s crazy, loud, outspoken, intelligent, a little bit bossy and likes to be in control. He’s also creative, borderline psychotic and has a heart the size of Chicago, although he tries to keep it hidden and act like he’s all tough and black-hearted most of the time. And then I’m the “Silent Bob” in that I’m (in public at least) the quiet one. I prefer to keep to the background and let my brother have the spotlight. I work best behind the scenes and thrive on my creative outlets. I’ve even got the Silent Bob belly going on and the self-depreciating style of dark humor. He compliments me and makes up for my shortcomings and I like to think that I’m able to do the same for him. People don’t quite get how our relationship works and sometimes I wonder about that myself, but it does and it’s a bond that few will ever know or enjoy. I’ve been blessed. I’m a real life “Silent Bob” and I have myself a real life “Jay” as my best friend. It’s a wild and crazy ride sometimes and not always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it or him for nothing, just like Smith is with Mewes. ‘Nuff said!

And now…

Grandma’s House

Last night while at the Dollar General with my Mom (and that’s a story for another day… Lord help us!), I came across a can filled with “Washburn’s Old Fashioned Hard Candy”, and it triggered some memories of days gone by. More specifically, memories of those great times when I was a kid where we, my family and I, traveled to South Point, Ohio and visited my Grandma Vick. She always had a jar of that old fashioned candy sitting around and it was hard as a rock, all stuck together. I think having a jar of candy for the small kids is a requirement for being a Grandma. But I remember it so well, trying to break apart these candies that were all stuck together and had probably been there for years. I remember throwing wood into the fireplace that always seemed to be blazing and I remember so many little knick-knacks and small items that were on display everywhere. It was so old-fashioned there and so cool and Grandma always seemed to be in the kitchen trying to feed us or else sitting in her chair in the living room just watching us, a smile on her face as if she was lost in memories. Thinking back, although I was too young to really understand it all at the time, she probably was. Grandma was up in years already when I was born and my Grandpa died in the early 70’s and she had lived a full life already by then, with nine children, a career as a general storekeeper and postmaster (think Cora Beth on The Waltons) and so much more and then, here are these grandkids running about all over the place. I’m sure we triggered a lot of memories for me. I just wish I had been old enough to understand and ask questions and talk to her then. It would have been a learning experience for sure.

It’s weird how I can still remember her house and every small detail, but can’t even remember some of the places I’ve lived at myself over the years or sometimes, even what I’m supposed to be doing at the time. Her house was the traditional old country style house and it was huge. Technically, it had only six rooms, but they were large and comfortable and just felt like home. You walk into the house, off the front porch and there is a small, but cozy living room with a fire burning in the fireplace, as I already mentioned. Immediately to your right as you entered was a room used as a bedroom. A strange place for a bedroom, but it had been used by my Grandpa’s mother, my great grandmother, when she was up in years and stayed with my grandparents. She couldn’t get around well and the two rooms upstairs were definitely out of the question so they fixed this room up for her bedroom and after she passed, they just kept it as an extra bedroom. Straight on through the living room, you entered the dining room and kitchen. I look back now and this was a very huge room. A big table that could hold 10 – 12 people and a standard kitchen with a small pantry off to the right that also led to a door that led outside to the back yard. That table was always full of plates of food where breakfast was served and whatever was left was covered up and served for lunch. That’s how it was done back then.

Go back to where you entered the kitchen from the living room and there was this room that Grandma used as her bedroom. Also, the only bathroom in the house was located in this area. So if you wanted to go to the bathroom at night or go upstairs to the other two rooms, you had to go through Grandma’s bedroom. She went to bed usually around 7:00 or so at night so there was as lot of tip-toeing and trying to be quiet. In the corner of Grandma’s bedroom was a door that when opened, led to a long set of steps that would take you upstairs. Two rooms, also used as bedrooms were here. Large rooms with old fashioned cubbards and huge closets that were actually long and narrow and tiny rooms all unto themselves. These were the rooms where I always liked to stay and would spend hours playing with my cousins and listening to the radio.

Outside of her house was all country. There was the old barn, full of treasures to be discovered and discarded items from the days when Grandma and Grandpa had their store. There was the small room where my Uncle Denver decided to put a pool table. We had the old chicken coop that my cousins and I cleaned out and made into a club-house. There was a garden of course and an old root cellar with a small room above it where one of Uncle’s would stay when they came to visit. There were three old barrels for burning trash and a steep yard on the side of the house where several huge rocks poked out of the ground. A small creek ran beside the house and across the creek, up on the hill, lived my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins, Clint and Cliff. Looking back, that whole area and time was paradise. How I would love to be able to go back now and relive those days, see that house again and the people.

Unfortunately, I can’t do that. Grandma passed away many years ago at the age of 104, I believe. My cousins and Aunt have moved away and I haven’t spoken to them in years and my Uncle who lived on the hill passed away a few years ago as well. I doubt that old house is still even there and I’m sure that things have changed a great deal since my childhood and the days we used to travel and visit. At least I’ve still got the memories. Rest in Peace, Grandma Vick. I love and miss you.

And that’s where this ends for today. Thanks for reading. Have a great one and I’ll see you folks later. Take care.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 hard candies meme

Flashback: Wrestling Survey – December 10, 2011

I found this old wrestling survey I took way back six years ago… Enjoy!

Flashback:  Wrestling Survey – December 10, 2011
1.How long have you been a Wrestling Fan?

For as long as I can remember. My older brothers and sisters used to take to me to see the weekly live shows at the Dorton Arena in Raleigh, NC when I was barely able to walk and I grew up watching stars like Wahoo McDaniel, Ric Flair, Blackjack Mulligan, Ivan Koloff, Paul Jones, The Andersons and so many others each and every week. And I was hooked from day one. That’s been well over forty years now.

2.What got you into Wrestling?

I think I answered that in the last question.

3.What was the first Wrestling match you saw?
I have no idea. But the first match I can remember seeing live that really stood out and made a major impression in my youthful mind was the legendary Brute Benard (look him up) against “The Dean Of Professional Wrestling” Johnny Weaver, in Raleigh, NC at one of the Tuesday night shows. I think I was maybe five years old.

4.Who is your favorite Wrestler?
Of all time or current active stars? Of all time, it would be Harley Race, Ric Flair,. Blackjack Mulligan, The Masked Superstar, Jamie Noble, Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson. Of current wrestling stars, the top guys on my list would be CM Punk, The Miz, Juventud Guerrera, Ethan Storm and a local Indy Tag Team called BD Productions. And a man named Hunter Holtzclaw who is just too damn sexy for words to describe. I want to rock his world!.

5.What is your favorite Wrestling Company?

I grew up with the NWA and Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling (Jim Crockett Promotions), but unfortunately, the NWA is a shell of what it once was and Crockett is out of business. So be default (mainly because it’s the only true big time international company left), the WWE gets the nod. Also, a small but damn good group from here in North Carolina called “American Championship Wrestling”.

6.Favorite Wrestling Tag Team|Faction|Stable?

My favorite tag team of all time is The Midnight Express (Eaton and Lane). My favorite faction is the infamous Four Horsemen, but I do have to admit a soft spot for The Dangerous Alliance as well.

7.Who is your favorite Female of Wrestling?

Anyone who knows the slightest thing about me already knows the answer to this one. Lisa “Ivory” Moretti, my one true love and beloved. No one else even comes close.

8.What’s your favorite Wrestling finisher?

Either the claw (as used by Baron Von Raschke or Blackjack Mulligan) or the Cobra (as used by Masked Superstar).

9.How often do you watch Wrestling shows?

Every Monday night for sure and occasionally on Thursday and Friday for Impact and Smackdown if there’s nothing better to do.

10.What is the greatest wrestling match you’ve seen?

I don’t know if it’s the greatest, but my favorite match of all time came from a Clash of the Champions event and pitted The Midnight Express (Eaton and Lane), accompanied by Jim Cornette against The Horsemen (Ric Flair & Barry Windham), who were accompanied by J.J. Dillion. After that, my other favorite match was on WCW Saturday Night with Larry Zbyszko taking on Lord Steven Regal for the WCW TV Title.

11.Favorite match stipulation?

I’m not a big fan of gimmicks or crazy stipulations so I’ll go for something simple and to the point – how about a good old fashioned street fight.

12.Have you ever been to a live Wrestling event?

I’ve been to literally hundreds of Indy wrestling events and several WCW shows back in the 90’s. I have yet to make it to a live WWE or TNA event though so that’s on my future agenda.

13.What is your favorite wrestling manager?

Of all time, it’s got to be Gary Hart. The man just did an amazing job. And following closely behind Hart would be Woman (Nancy Benoit), Sir Oliver Humperdink and Jim Cornette.

14.If you were a manager, who would be your top star?

If I had the chance to be a wrestling manager for the WWE and could bring in who I want for my stable (which I wouild model after the Dangerous Alliance, it would be Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin, Chris Masters, Ethan Storm, Mike Knox and Lisa “Ivory” Moretti as my co-manager.

15.Did you want to be a wrestler when you grew up?

I wanted to be either a wrestler or a writer. And as I got older, I found a great compromise. I write about wrestling. So there you go.

And there you go…

Ubuntu~

12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 2: 5416 & Christmas Wishes…

12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas – Day 2
5416 & Christmas Wishes
December 10, 2017
DougMaynard.com

And we’re back again with Day 2 of my blog series, the “12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas. It’s been one of those days and while I’ve managed to get a lot of things accomplished, my concentration is shot to hell and it’s been hard to stay focused enough to sit down and write. Maybe if SOMEONE would turn that damn TV down enough where I don’t have to wear earphones to keep my ears from hurting or even better, turn that damn thing off, it would be better. And as I wrote that, she came over and turned the television off. She’s going to bed and I’m (finally) going to have some peace and quiet. It’s a Christmas miracle. Hallelujah! And now, I can write and think and get something accomplished. Woo-hoo!

Oh yeah, I made vegetable soup today. Two pounds of hamburger, onions, potatoes, celery, peas, corn and carrots. The soup rocks! It’s damn good. And then I went to lay down for an hour or so. I came back and guess what? My Mom had decided to “help” and added a can of lima beans to my soup. I don’t like lima beans which is why I didn’t add then in the first place. The soup was awesome and she had to add something to it. I’m not happy about that. Next time, I’m not making soup again. If she wants soup, then she can make the soup anyway she wants to, but going behind my back and adding something to my soup that I purposely excluded, that’s just wrong. The soup is still good, but it was better my way. Just saying. Lima beans suck!

And now, let’s figure out what the topics are for today’s post. I’m going to write about my brief time as a store manager down in Wilmington and a few memories from there so “5416” is one of the topics. And from the “Magic Christmas Bag”, I’m drawing out a piece of paper and it says, “Five Christmas Wishes”. So that’s the other one. I usually do three topics, but time is short, I’m running late and I want to go finish up watching “The Punisher” on Netflix so it’s only two topics tonight. I think it’ll be good regardless. Let’s do this…

5416…

Store # 5416 was the store that I, for about a year or so, managed down in Wilmington, NC back in 1996 – 1997. Man, what a time that was. I have some great memories from that time and met some amazing people include the man with the plan, the power that is SMF CyberSpace (look it up on YouTube), Brent, who along with his then-roomie Russ, were my upstairs apartment neighbors. And my four ever-so-awesome employees, Steve, Marshall, Jamie and Bubba. It was a wild and crazy time where I wasn’t that great a manager for the store, but I grew and evolved and changed as a human in many ways.

To explain what kind of chaos and craziness was regular at the store (and Ray, if you’re reading this, stop now… please), I found something earlier today in an old notebook that we used at the store with gas pump readings and other notes to myself about work stuff. In the middle of it all was a “Top Ten List” that I had written way back in 97, probably not long before I was “fired” and then rehired back at the Laurinburg store a month or so later. Anyhow, this little list, which contains far more truths than I like to admit, tells you everything that you could possibly ever need to know about our store and those of us who worked there.

Top Ten Ways You Know You’re At Dairy Mart…

10. No matter what you buy, you need ID.
9. Fast and friendly service by 1 cashier, 5 friends, 1 drunk and a dog.
8. The people like you… they really like you.
7. If you’re a guy, Doug keeps hitting on you and saying, “Nice booty!”
6. If you’re a girl, Steve keeps hitting on you and saying, “Nice booty!”
5. Daily Gatorade barrel rides.
4. Home of the Effie & Leslie tag team from Forest Hills.
3. Words “Bro” and “Man” heard in every sentence spoken. (Mark talking only!)
2. More freaks than Ringling Brothers.
1. The best damn people to ever work a store anywhere.

That last part is especially true, especially Marshall and Steve. I miss them guys and would love to one day try and track them down again. It’s been twenty years and I’m expecting that they’ve both got families and kids and knowing Steve, he’s a regional supervisor for some company and doing well. And Marshall, he’s probably still in the Wilmington area and doing good too. I hope so. Awesome people.

Let me throw out a quick Marshall story and I’ll move on. This is Christmas related. One night, while down at the store to help Jamie, who was the employee scheduled to work that night, Marsh and myself decided to drink a little bit. Okay, we drank a lot. It was a few days before Christmas and not really as busy as we’d expected so while Jamie worked the register, Marshall and I did all the stocking and floor work and sat around in the stock room getting very intoxicated. And well, there’s a song that we both liked called “Merry Christmas From The Family” by Robert Earl Keen. We decided to sing that song and well, it got pretty loud and we didn’t care, in the back room of the store, singing at the top of our lungs, while customers wandered in and out of the store and Jamie conducted business as usual. And finally, Jamie came back and told us that “everyone had been listening to us sing”. So what did we do? Drank another shot and started singing some more. The customers of the Dairy Mart had live entertainment that night. Damn, we were blitzed. And then we ended up leaving, going to my apartment which was within walking distance of the store and drinking some more until the liquor ran out and we passed out. Then I had to go in at 5:30 am the next morning to open up. Oh vey! But now, every time I hear that song by Robert Earl Keen, and it’s one of my favorites, I think of that night and laugh and start singing along.

And now, let’s get a little more serious… maybe.

Five Christmas Wishes…

5. For all of my friends and associates who have pain in their lives, be it disease, heartbreak, addiction, money problems or whatever, to find some peace and relief from their problems and to be free from the stress and anxiety of whatever problems they face.

4. A full day of no cell phones and no computers – just people interacting as people and using their minds and imaginations rather than just being zombified by the machines.

3. A new computer (desktop style) so I can keep the magic coming for many more years to come.

2. A chance to “do lunch” with some of my extended family who I rarely get to see anymore, but miss so very much.

1. Lots of hugs by lots of sexy ass men… and the people in my life who are so damn awesome and totally rock. I have the best friends and associates in the world and though I don’t say it enough (usually I’m being an anti-social twit and trying to hide from everyone), ya’ll is the bee’s knees! ‘Nuff said!

And I think that’s all for today. This was Day 2 of my blog series. Day 3 will be sometime in the next 24 hours. Comments, thoughts and all feedback is welcome and appreciated. Love you – mean it. Have a great one and I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 1 12 Days 5

Wrestling Q&A – December 9, 2017

Tossing Salt Presents:
Wrestling Q&A
December 9, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Before I get started on the Wrestling Q&A, I have two things to say. First off, my condolences to the friends and family of Fred Fox, long time local radio personality who passed away earlier today. First with WEWO and then later, as the owner of WLNC, Fred was truly and will always be the “Voice of Scotland County”. RIP Fred.

And secondly, we are just hours away from the Scotland High School “Fighting Scots” playing for the 4A State Championship. I graduated Scotland, Class of 85… and best of luck to my former High School. Bring it home guys. GO SCOTS!

And now, let’s do some wrestling…

1. With the end of the year coming to a near… who would you say are you top ten wrestlers in the world?

I’m mainly a WWE guy, but I do try to pay attention to the rest of the wrestling companies as well. In my opinion, the Top Ten right now would be: Brock, AJ Styles, Miz, Kenny Omega, Cody Rhodes, Jay Lethal, Asuka, Cesaro, Kevin Owens and Neville, subject to change of course, but all of these folks can always be counted on to put on a top notch match and work well with anyone.

2. CAN or WILL Broken Matt Hardy work in WWE ??

So long as Vince refrains from getting too involved and allows Matt Hardy the creative control he needs, I think Broken Matt Hardy can and will do very well as part of the WWE Universe.

3. Who’s the top ten best tag teams in the world currently ?

This is only opinion and speculation on my part, but if I was trying to get together the best tag teams in wrestling today for an event, I would go with Cesaro & Sheamus, Gallows & Anderson, The Usos, Nick & Matt Jackson, The Revival, The Miztourage (Axel & Dallas), Harper and Rowan, The Hardy Boyz, Briscoe Brothers and Owens / Zayn.

4. Hypothetically: If WWE were to create a shoot, modern day version of the Brawl For All tournament, with MMA instead of boxing, (EXCLUDING BROCK) who would be some guys you would like to see compete and who do you think would win? Who would fill out your 16 man bracket?

Sixteen WWE guys that I think would do well in an MMA style “Brawl For All” type tournament? I think I’d go with Sheamus, Karl Anderson, Samoa Joe, Shinsuke Nakamura, Drew McIntyre, Rhyno, Jinder Mahal, Big Show, Roman Reigns, Bobby Roode, Braun Strowman, Curtis Axel, John Cena, Rusev, Luke Gallows and Cesaro. And my winner, at the end, I think would be either Joe or Nakamura.

5. Do you see Batista be as big of a movie star as the Rock?

What the Rock has achieved goes above and beyond almost anyone in Hollywood history, much less anyone from the world of wrestling. Batista will and is doing well, but will he ever be as big as The Rock? Nope!

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, questions and all feedback is welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take it easy & have a great one.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 kiss demon meme

Music Fact or Fiction – December 9, 2017

Tossing Salt Presents:
Music Fact or Fiction
December 9, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Happy Holidays to everyone on this extremely cold and wet Saturday morning. Before I get started, I want to send out a big Happy Birthday shout-out to an amazing friend, Chris Boone, who is celebrating the Anniversary of his birth on this day. And also a big shout-out to the Fighting Scots of Scotland High School, who will be playing in the NC State 4-A Championship game this afternoon. Go Scots! Congratulations on an excellent season. Now bring that title home. And now, with the questions provided by my friends from 411mania.com/music, let’s do some of that Fact or Fiction stuff ya’ll love so much. Are you ready to get funky like a monkey? Then let’s do it…

1. “Shape of You” is deserving of its tremendous success.

FACT: It’s catchy and stays in your head after just a few listens. Ed Sheeran has every right to be proud. This is a big hit and well deserving of the success that it has had.

2. The judge in the Meek Mill case appears to be treating him unfairly.

FACT: The judge has been extra tough and it seems as if he’s got a personal issue in the case or against Meek and probably needs to watch himself and tone it down a bit to avoid the taint of appearing to be unfair and biased. But then again, if Meek Mill had followed the law and not violated his probation, he wouldn’t have anything to worry about, would he? Just saying.

3. Martin Shkreli’s Wu-Tang album will be released to the public within the next five years.

FACT: Once Shkerli gets his crap straightened out with the Government, one of two things will happen. He’ll be needed the cash flow a new album will produce and will work to ensure that the album is finally released OR the Government will seize ownership of the already-recorded album and realizing that it’s worthless to them, will sell it back to the Wu-Tang Clan and it will be released that way. But one way or the other, I think it will finally come out within the next few years.

4. Russell Simmons made the right decision in stepping down from Def Jam.

FACT: With the charges against him, Russell Simmons is damaged goods right now and trying to remain as the head of Def Jam right now would only harm the company and the people who work there. It doesn’t matter if the allegations against Simmons are true or not. In today’s politically correct climate, he’s guilty until proven innocent and if his company is to survive and remain strong, he can’t be the man in charge there anymore. It’s just that simple.

5. DMX’s version of “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” was pointless.

FACT: Pointless, dumb, stupid and a total waste of time, just like DMC is at this point really. I know that some people like him and more power to them, but I’ve never really cared for his music and this attempt at a Christmas song sure as hell didn’t help things.

6. A joint album from Beyonce and Jay-Z would be great.

FACT: I’m not a big fan of either of these two, but even I will admit that both are solid artists and have a large legion of fans who appreciate their music. I don’t really mind the music, but it’s the personal issues and their politics that turn me off mostly. But that being said, they both have talent and as good as they are as solo artists, they bring out the best in each other and their stuff together is usually really good. I won’t be listening or buying it, but that’s just me. I’m sure it will be awesome, sell several million copies and make their fans happy and that’s really all that matters, right?

And that’s all of that for now. Time to go to bed for a little while and then it’s back later for Day 2 of my blog series, “12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas”. So watch for that. Thanks for reading. Comments and thoughts are welcome and appreciated. And until the next time, take care and have a great one.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 mount rushmore meme