I Think About More Than I Forget – Part 1
So here we are again and I’m back. Did you miss me? I’ve still got my “Magic Box” full of topics that are waiting to be ranted and rambled about and so, for the next ten days, I’m going to pull an Eminem and “clean out my closet”… sort of. It’s another random writing series folks. All together now. “YAY!” Wait a second. You… you there in the back. The guy with the striped shirt and the stuffed duck-billed platypus in your lap. Yeah, I’m talking about you. You didn’t say “yay”, did you? I heard you. You groaned. Just what exactly are you doing with that platypus? You’re sick! Perv!!!
Okay, for everyone else besides the platypus freak, I’m glad to be back and I hope I can both entertain and inform you for the next few days. We’re gonna have fun. The format is the same. I’ll reach into the “Magic Box” and pull out three topics and then I’ll write about each topic. Pretty simple actually and NOTHING is off limits. I’m sure some wrestling stuff will pop up ocasionally, but I will not have any idea what my topics are until I sit down and start writing and reach into the box. Let’s go ahead and get this bad mama-jama started.
So we reach into the Magic Box and the topics for this first of ten blogs are… “Tattoos”, “Ants” and “Farts”. Damn, that last one sounds like a crappy subject. I hope I don’t stink up the column with that poop-like odor. I might get exiled to Uranus. Yeah, I went there. Let’s do this…
I Think About More Than I Forget – Part 1 (of 10): Tattoos, Ants and Farts
April 12, 2013
Okay, let’s start off with tattoos. They’re cool and I like ’em… a lot. I’ve got three of my own, all on my legs, and I want more. And eventually, I’ll get ’em and be all tatted up and happy. But you know what freaks me out and looks stupid? This is just my opinion, but why the hell would anyone ever get a tattoo on their face? Or neck for that matter? At least the arms, legs, back, chest, etc. can easily be covered up if need be (say perhaps at a job interview or trial), but on the face, around the eyes and on the cheeks, etc. That just looks crazy and strikes me as someone with no future. People do judge and even people who have tattoos (which is growing every day) are not going to hire that person or look favorably upon that person with the spider-web coming from their eyes and a dragon tattooed on their forehead. Can you see what I’m talking about?
Like I said earlier, I love tattoos and I have three and want more. The ones I have now, by the way are Thumper, a satyr (from Greek mythology) and a little green demon. I want to get a design like the WWE World Championship to reflect upon the 11 years (so far) that I spent as as internet wrestling journalist and writing my column, “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”. I also want Marvin Martian somewhere upon my body and maybe even Chicken Hawk (from the old Foghorn Leghorn cartoons). But I know when to say when and where to put (and not put) these things when I eventually get them done.
Some folks can pull off being all tatted up and look hot. There’s a dude that comes into my store, from Puerto Rico I believe, who is covered with tats from head to toe and he looks incredibly hot. Hell, he is incredibly hot and I’d drop to my knees for him anytime. But guys like this are few and far between to be sure. Most folks who get crazy and go wild with the tats looks like someone coming off a drunken binge and their “friends” went crazy on their passed out bodies with ink guns and magic markers. Not appealing at all.
Anyhow, the bottom line is that if you’re into tattoos and want one, then get one. But think before you ink and don’t look like an assclown!
Wow, that certainly didn’t go as I was expecting. Let’s move on to the next topic of “Ants”. Did you know that the cow-killer ant isn’t really an ant? It’s a wasp. K-Mak and Keri taught me this via the YouTube videos. And I used to watch Atom Ant on Saturday morning when I was a kid. And an ant bite is painful and disgusting. I don’t like ’em. And I don’t like ants. Well, not the multi-legged kind anyhow. I don’t feel like writing about this so let’s move on. Next subject…
Farts! It’s not quite crap, but the smell can be lethal. Farts are both the most disgusting thing to encounter (especially if they sound moist) and also one of the funniest things around. Kids love farts. Guys love fart jokes. Women don’t fart. They “poot”. And now I forget where I was going with this as well. My mind is totally out of it today. I should have written this last night when I was inspired and the fart remarks / jokes were coming a mile, a second… much like bad gas after a bowl of chili, but I didn’t and now I’m sitting here just rambling because I don’t know what to say about the sound from the round mound whose owner’s can’t be found. Damn, that sounds like a Lil’ Wayne lyric, but makes more sense… lol
When two people are standing in an elevator and one of them farts, everyone knows who did it…
Uugh! That was terrible. This is short and pretty bad, but I’m going to quit while I’m behind and call it a day. I need to go get ready for work anyhow. So that’s part 1 of 10. Nine more editions of “I Think About More Than I Forget” to come. They will hopefully get better. They sure as hell can’t get any worse.
Have a great day, Peeps!
I’ll see you tomorrow.