We’re just a few hours away from tonight’s WWE Hall In A Cell pay-per-view presentation, available on the WWE Network and of course, when there’s a special event or big show, that means it’s time to break out the Tarot cards, the crystal ball and the cricket in the matchbox. Someone call me Dr. Druid because it’s time to make some predictions. Let’s just jump right to it, shall we?
Hell in A Cell: Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
We have the extreme part-timer taking on the moderate part-timer in the main event. Let’s be honest here. Taker has been playing the role of heel in this feud and is a desperate man. He’s had to resort to low blows and sneaky tactics because when push comes to shove, he can’t beat Brock Lesnar. And this match, billed as the final match between the two, should put the exclamation point on that fact. Taker can win or lose and it won’t matter. He’s the Undertaker and actually, having to resort to the shenanigans to win, cheapens his reputation. Brock is where the money is for WWE and for so long as he chooses to stay active, is the present and future. A loss at this point makes no sense and would damage his future potential activities. Bottom line is Brock should win. It just makes the most sense. So expect one helluva good fight and match and Taker shows once again why he’s a legend, but when that final bell rings, Brock takes that mystical trip to the pay window
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Hell in A Cell: Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
With Randy Orton out of action due to an injury and John Cena preparing to take some time off, it looks as if the WWE will be pushing Roman Reigns into that top spot on the roster for a while. Personally, I’d prefer to see them bring up James Storm and Samoa Joe from the NXT roster and give some elevation to the lower level talents that have been forgotten, such as Adam Rose, Fandango, Zack Ryder, Heath Slater, etc. With Cena out, use everyone stronger and make it a more level and competative playing field where everyone has a chance and opportunity rather than just their chosen ones. But that’s a rant for another day and this is about this match. I’m a big fan of Bray Wyatt and now, especially with three big monsters behind him in his “family”, I’d love to see him run crazy over the entire roster and just dominate and decimate everyone and anyone. But even though he has the advantage with the numbers game, tonight will be Roman’s night as the “Reign of Reigns” begins. Look for craziness and lots of interference by the family, but the master of the “Superman punch” will overcome the kryptonite and get the victory at the end of the night.
Winner: Roman Reigns
WWE World Heavyweight champion Seth Rollins vs. Kane: If Kane does not win, he will lose his Director of Operations job
As much as I like and respect Kane, and to be honest, enjoy him as the “Director of Operations”, he should not be at this point in his career, wrestling in the main event for the WWE Championship. Kane should be working tag matches and giving some younger talents a rub by being a partner or else being an enforcer for the Authority or just working as a special attraction. Kane is great, but Seth is the champion, the future and “the man”. No more D.O.O. / Corperate Kane in our future as Seth will rise to the challenge and end the suit and tie career of the big red monster. Luckily he has a demonic persona to fall back on, right.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Kane
WWE United States champion John Cena’s Open Challenge
Who will be the man to challenge and step up to face John Cena? The two most logical challengers are either Big Show or Sheamus. I hope not. If it was me, I’d use Heath Slater, who has a pretty good social media buzz going on about wanting to challenge Cena or Zack Ryder, who had a great match against Cena a few months ago and is a former United States Champion as well. And then, I’d have them win, just to really stir the pot and give the unappreciated a chance to shine and get people’s attention. Another good possibility would be James Storm. Wouldn’t that be a great way to make his WWE debut? It would be awesome to see Storm (or Samoa Joe) pop up and take on Cena. Unfortunately, Storm is too new and Joe isn’t Vince McMahon’s picture of what he wants a WWE Superstar to be so I doubt either of those would work. Maybe Mark Henry for one last hurrah? That would be great, especially if he wore that Salmon colored jacket of his. There really isn’t any telling who it will be. I’ll say Big Show just because he’s one of Vince’s favorites and isn’t anywhere on the show and that would be the suckiest choice of all. And guess what? He wins.
Winner and NEW United States Champion (because it sucks as an idea so badly): Big Show
WWE Divas champion Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella
Charlotte is just getting started as the Divas Champion and I’m really wanting to see her go one on with for the title with Sasha Banks, not Nikki Bella. The Divas Revolution thus far has been pretty much a bust and having Nikki back as the champ would not improve things one single bit. Charlotte as the champ at least means that there still might be hope. Charlotte retains the gold and somewhere in the night, we hear her father go “Woooooooooooooo!”
Winner and STILL Divas Champion: Charlotte
WWE Tag Team champions The New Day vs. The Dudley Boyz
Eventually, the Dudley Boyz will get those tag team titles. It’s inevitable. But the New Day are so good and so hot right now, it just doesn’t make sense to take the straps off of them yet. And the Dudleyz, while only back in the WWE for a short time thus far, seem old and stale already. Oh vey! The Dudleyz will eventually get the gold, most likely in a “Tables Match” on RAW, but for tonight, I think we’ll see the New Day once more use the numbers game and the power of positivity to lie, cheat and steal and get a tainted win to retain the gold. After all, New Day suc… I mean “rocks!”…
Winners and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day
WWE Intercontinental champion Kevin Owens vs. Ryback
A tough and stiff match and I expect we’ll see some hard hitting action and possibly even a spot or two of the crimson (accidentially of course) over the course of the ten – fifteen minutes that these men slug it out. Ryback is tough, but now is the time of Owens. Fight Owens Fight and retain that Intercontinental Championship.
Winner and STILL WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kevin Owens
Neville & Dolph Ziggler & Cesaro vs. Rusev & King Barrett & Sheamus
It’s the kick-off show and we get a rematch from this past week’s RAW as six men, most of who have no reason to be partners and teaming with each other, team up and compete in tag action. I guess it’s just a way to get them on the card. Of course, Rusev, Dolph, Cesaro and Neville could all be possible challengers for Cena and the U.S. title? Hmmmmm. Nah, I don’t think Vince likes us that much. It’ll be Big Show or someone equally as painful to watch. This match though, it’s the show opener and the fans have to be kept happy. Thus, the faces win and the crowd goes wild.
Winners: Neville, Dolph Ziggler and Cesaro
And there you go. My predictions for tonight and WWE Hell In A Cell. Am I right? Am I wrong? Does it really even matter? The WWE has put together a stacked show for tonight’s card and even though a couple of the matches are not exactly what I want to see, they’re still relatively decent. It should be a good night of wrestling / sports-entertainment. Watch it. Have fun and enjoy the show.
And with that, I’m out of here. I’m Doug and that’s all folks. Thanks for reading.