Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Enter Talking & Cat Fights
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

I did not know it was possible to sleep for two days straight, but damn if I didn’t try. I’d wake up to pee, sit at the computer until the dog, cat, or Ma started to get on my nerves, and that never takes long, and then I’d go back to my room and bed to listen to music and watch REELS on Facebook. What a life, and no regrets. My only regret, or “regerts” as it says in the Snickers commercial, was that eventually I had to get up and leave the bed. As in now, dare I say. It’s 5:39 am on a Sunday. I’m awake and actually feel okay. I’m sure that anxiety and fatigue will show up soon enough, probably as the sun comes up. I’ll head back to my room again for a while, to avoid Ma getting up and her ritualistic yelling at the dog, calling him stupid, and bitching about what a junk-hole, bordering on Horder’s level, that we live in. It’s almost to the point that we could burn the house down, and it’d do $15,000 worth of improvements.

Steve and Lynn both passed away, and all of their clutter ended up piled inside our house. Terri was moved to an Assisted Living facility, and all of her clutter was relocated to our house. This place is a shothold, and not safe at all. And I’m trying to maneuver around with one bad leg and a wheelchair. And we won’t even talk about the dog, constantly in the way, or the cat peeing on everything. This isn’t living. This is hell. And I can’t leave. And people wonder why I don’t want visitors and prefer to stay in my bed all day and night. Yes, I’m embarrassed and ashamed. This is what my life has become.

And the cat is here. I love my baby, and he is the sweetest cat in the world. He’s the only reason I’m still alive. No, that’s wrong. My brother, the Infamous One, and the family. Them too. But that cat gives unconditional love,m trying so hard to make me feel better, literally lying next to me for hours at a time, quietly purring, and providing comfort. But then he has his moments where he comes into the room, gets the zoomies, and starts talking a lot. Be it to the Straybies outside, the walls, or whatever else, he just goes off and won’t shut up. Hence the name, Mouthie. He’s my baby, and I love him. But damn, he needs a muzzle sometimes. And I think I’ve already said too much. I don’t know if I’ll post this or not. I guess we’ll all find out together.

I finally watched the movie, Clerks 3. For any fan of Kevin Smith’s movies, from the start over the past 30 years, it was a bummer, but it made sense. That chapter of the ViewAskew is now over. RIP Dante. Now, it’s time to follow up on Mallrats and Dogma. Jay & Silent Bob will live forever. Some irony here. I’ve always jokingly said that Clerks was essentially my life, and anyone who knows me well, especially from the early days of Convenient Food Mart, Dairy Mart, and Nic’s, would have to agree. I’ve seen and witnessed so many things that no one who hasn’t lived it would ever believe. No hockey on the roof, but everything else. And just like the movie, the true real Trilogy, all things come to an end. Be right back.

Well, it’s nearly 7 am, so it’s time to retreat to the bedroom for a few hours before everyone starts waking up. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Merry Christmas.

Well, the nap wasn’t long, but it was interesting. I dozed for about 45 minutes and woke to a literal catfight outside my bedroom window. Fuego and the cat from across the street were on my porch, and they were going at it. Not just the noise, but they were throwing down. They were entangled and even fell off our porch into the bushes. And I could see the bodies entangled and throwing down. I opened my window and yelled at them. The one from across the street broke away and started to run. Fuego nailed him with a parting slap and then, after watching the other cat flee, stalked off to the side of the house. Fuego is a badass. Who would have thought? And Mouthie was the typical nosy ass, running up to the window, perched, and trying to see what’s going on. Damn cat. Gotta love him. Oh yeah, I do.

I trimmed my bangs. I took an inch off straight across. Now, you can see my eyes. It’s still too long, but much, much better. It’s afternoon now. I’m waiting on Walmart. I ran out of drinks and Twinkies, so I did what I had to do. They should be here shortly.

And now, it’s Tuesday morning, 6:05 am. I want to say so much, but the body and mind are not wanting to cooperate. I’ll be back later today. I’m going to bed. Love you much, and mean it.

Ubuntu.