August 10, 2017
I love social media. People will ask a complete stranger anything and not think twice about it. And even worse, there are people like me who will answer almost any question asked. I have no shame. So here are just a few of my favorite questions that have come across my Facebook time-line over the past few days. Let’s do this…
If you could replace your family with TV characters, who would they be?
My family is already a bunch of characters and are pretty much ireplacable, but I’ll do it like this. If I was casting a movie of my life and needed to cast the actors and actresses from my favorite TV shows to play my family members, these would be the people I’d cast. For my brothers, I’d cast Tommy Chong (is he still alive) and Joquain Phoenix. For my sisters, I’d use Sara Gilbert and Melissa McCarthy. For my Mom and Dad RIP), I’d use Betty White and Ed Asner. And for my BFF, I’d go with Zac Efron. I’d be played by Mark Wahlberg. It’s my casting so why the hell not.
If you could talk to anyone from your past again, who would it be?
I’d love to sit down with my Dad. We left a lot of baggage on the table when he passed and I’d love to be able to get it all cleared up. My Grandma Vick would be awesome to talk to again. And my brother, Jeff. I would so love to be able to talk to him.
What does the color blue sound and smell like?
It sounds like a laugh mixed with tears and lots of sighs thrown in for good measure. It smells like clean linen.
Did the influence of Russia cause Hillary Clinton to lose the Presidential election of 2016?
Nope. Total fabrication by the Clinton supporters who don’t want to admit that they ran a poor campaign and a bad candidate.
You have been given $100,000,000.00 to do whatever you want with. What would you do?
Look after my family and close friends, pay off old debts, invest in some secure businesses and buy an old house in the country and move there with my cat.
What is your favorite dinosaur?
Easily the Triceratops.
If you could change 5 things about your hometown, what would they be?
How about the 5 elected members of the City Council who don’t listen to the citizens, ignore our town’s needs and seem determined to place our city in major debt so that they can have a new City Hall that we don’t need and no one in this town, aside from the City Council members, seems to want. Drain the swamp and vote them out.
Is Santa real? How about the Easter Bunny?
Santa is real. He’s not a person, but an idea and concept that is used to bring people together and help bring out the better part of ourselves and each other. The Easter Bunny is not real. I shot him with my BB Gun when I was a child and he died. Any Easter Bunny since then has been a fake.
Are you single? Why?
That’s a good question. I’m honest, clean, smart, funny and despite having a belly, I’m an incredibly sexy beast. I’m a catch and everyone knows it. I guess the guys out there are just too scared to take a chance on all this awesomeness.
What is something about you that would surprise most people?
That I’m the owner, operator and primary contributor to DougMaynard.com? Nah, that’s obvious. How about that I’m an ordained minister, since 2000. It’s amazing what a person can get from the back of a Rolling Stone magazine.
What is your top pet peeve?
People… ‘Nuff said!
And I guess that’s all for now. My feet hurt and I’m going to bed. Thanks for reading. Comments, questions and thoughts are welcome. Take it easy and I’ll catch you later.