Originally written 6/10/15
“The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes was in the mass video library of WWE Headquarters.
“I know that video is around here somewhere”, he said to himself as he looked through the archives for Florida Championship Wrestling. “Me and ol’ Jack Mulligan putting a whoopin’ on that nasty ol’ devil, Kevin Sullivan and the Purple Haze!”
As Dusty looked through the videos, he heard a noise from a small room off of the main library. Dusty got intrigued and followed the noise until he came upon a familiar platinum blonde head hunched over a small tv screen, chuckling and letting out the occasional “Woooo!”.
“Nature Boy”, Dusty spoke up. “What is you doing here, hiding in the dark like a common snake in the grass, watching video and laughing like a looney-toon crazy man?”
Ric jumped up at the interruption and had his hands balled into fists, prepared to fight. Upon seeing it was only his old sometimes nemesis / sometimes friend, Dusty Rhodes, Flair relaxed.
“Dream, you startled me”, Flair said.
“Nature Boy”, Dusty repeated. “What are you doing here hiding in the darkness. What are you watching?”
“Watching some old matches between myself and Harley Race”, Flair explained. “I’m going out to Kansas in a few days to work with Harley at his training camp and wanted to refresh my memories of some of our matches to use as examples for his students.”
“You and Race sure put on some classics”, Dusty agreed. “But hell, so did you and I?”
“Very true”, Flair agreed. “Too bad we can’t get Vince to let us do it again. We could show all these young kids in the WWE how to really wrestle and prove what I’ve been telling them for years.”
“Less is more?”, Dusty asked.
“Exactly”, Ric said. “Pick your spots and tell a story. That’s how you do a wrestling match. It’s not high spot after high spot after high spot. Make the moves count and sell.”
“No matter how much I tell those kids down in Florida that, they still want to hit move after move and not sell anything”, Dusty agreed.
“And forget about working a body part or chain wrestling”, Flair added.
“Don’t I know it”, Dusty agreed once more. “I would love to see just one kid pull an Anderson and work on the arm or leg. That would make my day!”
“The kids can wrestle and are athletic monsters”, Flair said. “But the powers-that-be, Vince and Hunter, want flash and sizzle instead of technical skills.”
“What they should do is mix it up… have some high impact mixed with the chain wrestling. Make the big moves count when you use ’em and tell a story with the wrestling holds.”
“I thought I already said that”, Flair noted. “I’ve talked to Hunter until I’m blue in the face though and while he mostly agrees, he says that it’s Vince that wants sports-entertainers and not wrestlers. Vince is the one who wants the flashy high impact and larger than life moves.”
“And we all know that ain’t no one talking Vince into changing anything if he don’t want to”, Dusty said.
“We ought to do something to try and change his mind”, Flair smiled.
“Like what?”, Dusty asked. “Do a Flair versus Rhodes match one more time? My body is too old for that stuff and yours is too!”
“I feel great and could still put in a good thirty minute match”, Flair said.
“Well, I can’t”, Dusty said. “I’m nearly seventy years old. My days of gettin’ funky like a monkey are over and done!”
“Hell, Dory Funk is a lot older than you and he still wrestles in Japan several times a year, plus has his own promotion and Dojo!”, Flair threw back at Dusty.
“That’s Dory and he’s funkin’ crazy!”, Dusty laughed.
“You mean to say that I got Vince or Hunter to agree to let us go one more time, Flair versus Rhodes, the Nature Boy versus The American Dream, man versus man, legend versus legend, on an episode of RAW or even NXT, you wouldn’t do it?”, Flair asked.
“No”, Dusty said.
“Walking that aisle, stylin’ and profilin’ as only you and I can do?”
“Nope”, Dusty repeated.
“Limo riding, jet flying, kissing the girls all night long. Woooooo!”
“Not gonna happen, Naitch!”, Dusty said one more time.
“Well, I’m going to bring it up to Hunter and suggest we do it. We can put on a wrestling clinic for those kids at NXT and those new kids, the Tough Enough ones, and show ’em all what being a legend, being the American Dream, being the Nature Boy… Woooooooooo, is all about!”
“You’re crazy… crazy as a loon!”, Dusty laughed. “Ain’t no way that Hunter or Vince would ever go for that.”
“But what if they do?”, Flair asked, a big smile forming on his face. “If I can get them to say yes, are you in? Will you do it? Will we see Flair versus Rhodes headlining, on the marquee one more time?”
“It ain’t gonna happen. They are not gonna say yes!”, Dusty explained.
“But what if they do? What if they do? One more time. Are you in?”
“If you can get them to say yes… well damn it all, the Dream is in and will go one on one with the Nature Boy one more time, one night only!”, Dusty smiled.
“Woooooooooo!”, Flair belted out loudly. “And there you go! I’m going to Vince’s office right now! Wooooooo! The Nature Boy and the American Dream! One more time! All night long! Woooooooooo!”
And with another “Woooooo!” for good measure, Flair strutted out of the small room and headed upstairs to the offices of Vince McMahon and Triple H.
“One more time! Wooooooo! The Dream and the Nature Boy! Woooooooo!
As Flair headed for the elevator to take him upstairs to the offices of WWE Management, Dusty just watched him go. Shaking his head and smiling to himself, Dusty let out a big chuckle.
“Naitch is still crazy as hell!”, Dusty laughed. “And now, time to get back to finding that footage I was looking for!”
About an hour later, Dusty was finishing up his search, having found and copied the wrestling footage he had been searching for. Suddenly, the sounds of “Family Tradition” by Hank Williams Jr. filled the room. Dusty reached down and seeing that the call was from Ric Flair, he flipped open his cell phone.
“Nature Boy”, Dusty said. “What’s the word, if you will!”
“Well, I talked to Vince and Hunter”, Ric said. “I asked them about having us wrestle and going all night long, stylin’ and profilin’, Wooooooo!”
“And?”, Dusty asked.
“They said no”
“They said no?”, Dusty repeated. “Did they say why?”
“I’m not sure”, Ric said.
“Why aren’t you sure?, Dusty asked. “What did they actually say?”
“I don’t know”, Ric said quietly.
“Why don’t you know?”, Dusty asked. “What happened?”
“Well, I was talking to them about having you and I wrestle and I got a little excited and started taking off my clothes…”
“No, you didn’t? Please say you didn’t?”, Dusty sighed.
“And then I elbow dropped my jacket on Vince’s desk”, Ric continued.
“Oh lord!”, Dusty laughed to himself. “I wish I had been in that office.”
“And about the time I did my flop into the potted plants in the office, Vince started freaking out!”
Dusty just chuckled as Flair continued.
“And then Hunter just said, ‘No!’.”
“So no more matches between the Dream and the Nature Boy?”, Dusty laughed. “I wish I had seen that! Can’t say I’m disappointed though.”
“But don’t worry”, Flair said.
“Why should I not worry?”, Dusty asked. “And why does you saying not to worry make me worry?”
“I’ve got an idea”, Flair said.
“Should I even ask?”, Dusty wanted to know.
“I’ll tell you later”, Ric said. “Now I’ve got to go. There’s Stephanie and Linda. Vince and Hunter may have said no, but once I turn the old Nature Boy charm on to the ladies, I know I can get that match for us.”
“Don’t do anything crazy”, Dusty warned his old friend. “It’s not that important!”
“When have I ever done anything crazy?”, Ric asked.
“A few minutes ago in Vince’s office”, Dusty reminded him.
“I’ve got to go. We are going to main event one more time! Wooooo!”
Ric hung up the phone and Dusty heard the click.
“Should I head upstairs and try and run interference for Steph and Linda or should I let Ric make a fool of himself?”, Dusty asked himself.
Memories flashed through Dusty’s head of Ric defeating him to win the NWA World Championship in 1981, of Ric and the Andersons beating him down in the cage in Atlanta, of Ric and the Horsemen jumping him in the parking lot of Crockett promotions in Charlotte, etc.
“I think I’ll let Ric handle this on his own”, Dusty smiled. “If you will!”