12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 12
Good Book – Bad Book, Maury & All I Want For Christmas
December 21, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Well, here we are at the end of another infamous (shout out to my BFF / bro-son, K-Mak) blog series as the “12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas” comes to an end. I guess that’s why we’re at the end, because it’s ending. Get it! Bwah-ha-ha-ha! I crack me up. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, this is the last one and I have to admit that with the exception of a couple of good pieces where I just went all emo and poured my heart out, for the most part, this particular series has sucked more than a crack whore in Laurinburg at tax time. (Think about it – you’ll get it!) I had such high hopes, but between my real job, my volunteer job, family stuff, the occasional Meet Me stuff (damn those 24 year olds), trying to keep my regular stuff up for the site and in general, poor time management skills, this has been less than the stellar effort on my part. I tried, but sometimes the apples taste like grapefruits and that’s what we have here. I hate grapefruit by the way. I love orange juice, but it blows my sugar up big time. Where those grapes at?

Again, what was I saying? This was supposed to be semi-Christmasy and there were moments, but I’m not a happy Panda. So let’s go ahead and finish up and maybe this one will be entertaining and funny or maybe not, but we’ll have to find out together. And the next blog series I do, whenever that may be (in January), be warned that it’s on. Redemption and victory will be mine.

Let’s get to the Magic Bag and find out what the topics are for this end of all days piece of scripture. We have “Good Book / Bad Book” and “Maury”. And from the Magic Christmas Bag, we have, “All I Want From Christmas Is You!”. This might be good after all because I can think of ways to use all of these. Let’s go for it and do this…

Good Book / Bad Book…

I guess with this one, I’ll give a couple of suggestions of good books that I enjoy reading and then I’ll follow up with a couple of books that I’ve read that are less than interesting, downright stupid or should be avoided all together.

Good Books: The Bible, “Notes To Myself” or pretty much anything by Hugh Prather, The Harry Potter books (far better than the movies), “Enter Talking” and “Still Talking” by Joan Rivers, “Interview With A Vampire” and pretty much any book from the “Vampire Chronicles” by Anne Rice and pretty much anything by Ann Colter. Even if you don’t agree with her, she’s hilarious. Anything by Mick Foley or Chris Jericho is excellent too.

Bad Books: Any of the Jesse Ventura books after the “I Ain’t Got Time To Bleed” one. He started off good, but moved into crazy land. Anything by Al Franken or Michael Moore. And I can’t really think of any more.

I love to read so for me, even the bad books are generally good enough for at least one reading. So forget about good or bad books. Just read. If you don’t like a particular book, then put it down and start on something else. Reading is fundamental. And by the way, thank you again for reading this. Let’s move on.

Maury…

Maury Povich started off as a respectable journalist and TV newsman way back in the day. And then he started a talk show that was legit and tried to take the higher ground and be enlightening as well as entertaining. And then, the ratings began to fall and Maury sold his soul and any credibility he once had to the crap he hosts on the air daily now. Shame!

As for his show, I can honestly say without any doubt to any woman on that show that, “I am NOT the baby’s father!”. No child support checks from Dougie. ‘Nuff said!

And finally…

All I Want For Christmas Is You…

A great song and I’ll post the video of Steve Grand, one of my favorite singers, doing the song as an additional piece at the site. But we all know the song. Now we get to find out what I want for Christmas. I tihnk I’ll go cheezy and do it top ten style. “Why?”, you ask. Because I can…

What I Want For Christmas…

10. To see the people that matter most in my life smile and be happy.
9. Socks
8. A little snow on the ground.
7. At least three straight hours of uninterrupted writing time and the inspiration for something to write.
6. A good night of sleep.
5. A good looking man to just cuddle up next to on the couch and relax with.
4. A few friends, a bonfire and some memories being made.
3. A publishing deal for my writing.
2. $150,000,000.
1. To not be alone anymore.

And there you go. Thanks for reading and I wish and hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. And I can’t think of anything else so I’m down and gone. Take care and see you next time.

Ubuntu!