Words To Live By – Great Sex Quotes

Words To Live By – Great Sex Quotes…
January 7, 2018
DougMaynard.com
“Why?”, you ask.  Just because.  Enjoy…

“My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I
visited the Statue of Liberty.” – Woody Allen

“Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet.” – St Augustine

“It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury.
Half of them don’t believe that it can physically be done, and the other
half are doing it.” – Winston Churchill

“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the
furniture.” Robin Williams.

Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love.” Woody Allen

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for
money costs less.” Brendan Francis

“There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that
guaranteed we wouldn’t get laid.” Denis Leary

“My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any
reason to limit myself.” Emo Philips

“It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have
to tell your mother.” Charles Pierce

“A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me,
she said ‘no’.” Woody Allen

“Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises
some pretty good questions.” Woody Allen

“An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than
sex.” Edgar Wallace

“I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five,
it’s fantastic.” Woody Allen

“My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn’t have sex quite so
often.” Emo Philips

“When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an
important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.” Matt
Groening

“Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start
talking to them.” Steve Martin

“It’s so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up who.” Joan
Rivers

“If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.” Rodney
Dangerfield

“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s
a pretty good one.” Woody Allen

“You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little
things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay
good money for in later life.” Emo Philips

“What’s the three words you never want to hear while making love? ‘Honey,
I’m home’.” Ken Hammond

“Like most men, I am consumed with desire whenever a lesbian gets within
twenty feet.” Taki

“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that
money can buy.” Steve Martin

“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” Joan Rivers

“I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they
choose; they should draw the line at goats though.” Elton John

“My girlfriend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said,
‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.” Emo Philips

“I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well
as women.” Bernard Manning

“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.” Woody Allen

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” Marilyn Monroe

“I’m not a breast man, I’m a breast person.” Jo

“When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.” Mae West

“Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.” Joan Rivers

 

And there you go.

Ubuntu!

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