Flashback: Alice Cooper Duets (Fan Fiction)

Flashback – A fan fic story about the greatest rock entertainer of all time, Alice Cooper.  I wrote this seven years ago.  I was bored. Check it out and let me know what you think.  Thanks.  – Doug

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Alice Cooper Duets (Fiction)

A/N: I’ve always had this dream about rock star Alice Cooper one day doing an album of duets, with several top musical acts. And well, I don’t think it will ever happen since Alice really isn’t a duet type of guy. But, what if the idea came up? Here’s a little fic I threw together with Alice and long time manager Shep Gordon, talking about just such an idea. Enjoy!

-Doug

Alice Cooper – Duets!

Alice Cooper, rock star and idol to millions, was sitting in his office, looking over tour schedules when manager Shep Gordon walked into the room.

“Hey Alice”, Shep said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “Looking over the tour schedules?”

“Yes”, said Alice. “Just trying to make sure that I’ll still have time for the radio show. Why are the months of March and April clear of any dates?”

“I wanted to make sure you have time to make the talk show circuit after the Hall of Fame show in New York”, Shep said, “plus touch up work in the studio on Nightmare II. There’s no more major touring again for the rest of this year.”

“I’ve still got the spot in Myrtle Beach open and the Christmas Pudding show too, right”, Alice asked.

“Of course”, Shep said as he sat down.

Alice glanced up at his long time manager.

“Okay Shep, what is it?”, Alice asked.

“What? What?”, Shep asked.

“You have that look”, Alice said with a smirk. “You want to ask about something, but you’re not sure how I’m going to take it.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You’ve been my manager for 42 years”, Alice smirked. “I probably know you better than anyone and when you want something, you get that little twitch.”

“I do not twitch”, Shep complained. “But yeah, there is something.. an idea I had that I wanted to throw at you.”

“Shoot”, Alice said as he took a drink of coffee.

“When was the last time you did a duet with anyone?”, Shep asked.

“I do it almost everytime I perform in concert, with Slash, with Zombie… even a few weeks ago with Marilyn Manson. Why?”

“I’m not talking about concert appearances, but in the studio?”, Shep asked.

“Well, there was the Millie & Billie song, No Tricks with Betty Wright, and the Muppets… we can’t forget the Muppets”, Alice smiled.

“Anything more recently that wasn’t thirty years ago?”, Shep asked.

“I did the Garden song with Axl and Slash, plus we had Ozzy and Steven Tyler doing back-ups on the Stoopid album. Why? What’s your point?”

“Well, I want to go into the studio and have you do a total duet album”, Shep said.

Alice just looked at him for the longest time.

“You’re kidding, right? Please say you’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not kidding. I’m serious. Twelve songs with some of the current music stars could really add to the base of fans you already have and really increase revenue across the board.”

“I don’t need to expand my base of fans. I’m sure that the whole Hall of Fame hoopla, plus the release of Nightmare II will do that quite well. I sure as heck don’t need to sing a bunch of crazy duets with people I barely know.”

“But…”, Shep started to say, but Alice cut him off.

“That would really piss off a lot of people and they would say I’m selling out, trying to be commerial for the sake of a few record sales”, Alice continued.

“You went on American Idol and that didn’t bother your fans”, Shep noted.

“For one song”, Alice said. “That’s not the same thing as a whole album of unrelated songs that are just there to show how bad my voice really is in comparison to other singers. My songs are not made to be duets. They’re made for Alice to sing, all alone on that stage.”

“Well, why not a concept album where Alice is suffering from flashbacks and trauma and his mind is wandering, imagining what it would be like to sing with other people and it just kind of starts happening.”

“That’s crazy”, Alice said… “And it could actually work. It might even be fun.”

“So you’ll think about it?”, Shep asked.

“I don’t need to think”, Alice said. “Some ideas are already starting to form in my head.”

“It’s a great idea, right?”, Shep asked.

“Well, we need to focus on Nightmare II right now”, Alice reminded his manager. “And I’m pretty sure we’ll be touring hard for that.”

“Most all of next year”, Shep noted as he looked at his calendar.

“But I’ve got the studio at the house and I’m sure that we can cut some demos every now and then and get a feel for this concept that you came up with.”

“That’d be great”, Shep nodded at his friend. “And I can put the word out to see who’s available to work with us.”

“You can do that”, Alice said. “I’ve got a few ideas for some people too that I want to follow up on.”

“And you know what the best thing about an album like this would be?”, Shep said.

“No. What?”, Alice asked.

“It’s the last thing anyone would ever expect from Alice Cooper”, Shep smiled. “It’s so anti Alice, it’s totally Alice.”

“It would be a major curve ball for anyone who thinks they know what to expect from Alice Cooper”, Alice agreed.

“Anyone in particular you’d like me to contact about producing… or maybe performing with you?”, Shep asked as Alice stood up.

“See if Erzin is available to produce, or maybe Rubin”, Alice said. “Even Don Was might be good, but I’m sure his schedule is full.”

“I’ll see”, Shep said. “Where are you headed out to?”

“It’s time to go play some golf”, Alice said. “I’m meeting Dweezil, LL Cool J and Julie Brown out on the tee at 10:00am.”

“Which Julie Brown”, Shep asked. “The crazy one or the dancing one that says ‘wubba wubba wubba’ all the time?”

“The crazy one”, Alice smiled. “She’s actually quite a golfer.”

“And that’s three possible duet partners right there for you to consider”, Shep noted.

“I can see Dweezil playing guitar”, Alice said thoughtfully, “but Alice Cooper singing with LL Cool J? Or singing with Miss Julie Brown from MTV? That would be crazy!”

“And what’s your point?”, Shep replied. “You’re Alice Cooper. You’re supposed to be crazy!”

“Yeah, I am”, Alice smiled. “I’ll think about it. See you in a little while!”

And with that, Alice walked out the door.

Shep sat back down and picked up his phone and starting dialing a number.

“I wonder if Willie Nelson is available?”, he thought to himself.

**

A few weeks later, Alice and Shep were finishing up another meeting.

“Anything else”, Alice asked as he sipped on a glass of tea.

“I got some feedback about the duets album idea”, Shep said. ” Once word leaked out, my phone has been ringing off the hook from people interested in singing with Alice Cooper.”

“Like who?”, Alice asked.

“Kid Rock called. Miley Cyrus’s people called. We even heard from Cher and Boy George”, Shep said.

“Alice and Hannah Montana”, Alice laughed. “That would turn some heads for sure.”

“I do have a question though”, Shep said. “Would you prefer to do classic Alice songs, songs that the other people made hits of, or totally new material?”

“I’m not sure”, Alice replied. “It would depend on who I’m singing with.”

“I was only asking because Boy George mentioned something about doing ‘Church of the Poisoned Mind’.”

“I think it would be a mix of Alice covers, other covers and a few original new songs to release as singles”, Alice answered.

“Have you had any luck feedback from anyone?”, Shep asked.

“Axl called me up and said that he’d heard about the idea being shopped around and if I want him, he’s there”, Alice said. “And this past weekend, I had a representative of Flavor Flav chasing me down on the golf course.”

“Flavor Flav?”, Shep asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t think that one’s going to work”, Alice smiled. “But I also got an e-mail from Tina Turner asking about this project.”

“How is Tina?”, Shep asked.

“Bored”, Alice said. “It seems that retirement isn’t what she expected it to be.”

“That’s why you should never totally retire”, Shep said.

“Heck, I can’t retire”, Alice laughed. “Mick is six years older than I am and he’s still touring and recording. I’m not going to let him outlast me.”

“Good man”, Shep laughed. “So it looks like this duet thing might actually work.”

“Maybe so”, Alice said. “I’m actually getting excited about the idea.”

“Want me to fast track it, so we can get the material in the can and then work on editing while we promote Nightmare?”, Shep said.

“That’d be fine”, Alice replied. “Get me up a list of everyone who’s contacted us and we’ll look at songs for each possible combination.”

“Have you thought up a title for the album yet?”, Shep asked.

“Not really”, Alice said. “I was thinking about ‘Relapse’, but Eminem has already used that title.”

“How about Flashback or Nightmare?”, Shep suggested.

“That would confuse people with the new Nightmare II album”, Alice said. “Maybe just call it Duets?”

“Maybe”, Shep said. “We’ll work on that. So have you worked out a story or outline to work the songs around yet?”

“I’m thinking that Alice , or Steven if you will, finds himself trapped in a dream where the heroes and idols of pop culture keep showing up and demanding that he sings with them. And as the album progresses, it moves from Steven singing with these people, but slowly becoming Alice along the way.”

“Start off with some very un-Alice like songs and progress to the real Alice with some hard rockers”, Shep said.

“Exactly”, Alice smiled.

“So there should be a common link to the songs that takes people on this journey with you?”, Shep asked.

“Do you think it would come across and work, as a concept album?”, Alice asked his manager.

“I think so”, Shep said. “And it gives me an idea of what kinds of songs to look for too.”

“Then you work on that”, Alice said. “I’ve got to get home. Sheryl and I have a church meeting to attend and I have an interview with Pat Boone to conduct for the radio show.”

“You know what would be great?”, Shep said. “A video showing the progression of Steven as he turns to Alice, with all of the songs on the duet album showing the way and having Pat Boone as the man leading Alice astray.”

“Let’s just make the album first”, Alice smiled. “And then we’ll worry about videos and stage shows and all of that stuff.”

“Gotcha”, Shep laughed. “I’ll call you later.”

And Alice gave a nod and a wave as he walked out of the office.

**

Several months passed and Alice and Shep coordinated their efforts. Time was spent in the studio as hundreds of songs were considered. Dozens of musical artists, from all across the musical genre came and laid down tracks with Alice, cutting demo after demo. And finally, it was complete.

“So there you go… ‘Alice Cooper And Friends’,”, Shep said as he laid down the master track in front of Alice.

“I don’t think Elton is ever going to talk to me again since we didn’t use his track”, Alice remarked.

“Well, we didn’t use the track with Loretta Lynn either and she’s forgiven you.”, Shep reminded him.

“What about the track with Snoop Dogg?”, Alice asked.

“I filed it away next to the track you did with Samantha Fox”, Shep said.

“Good”, Alice replied. “Some things were never meant to be heard.”

“Amen to that”, Shep said. “But what happened to the track with you and Bobby Brown.”

“That was accidentially deleted”, Alice replied. “That was my perrogative.”

“Good one”, Shep laughed.

“Thanks”, Alice said. “So this is the master?”

“Yes”, Shep said.

“Well, let’s put it on and see what we’ve got”, Alice said.

Shep and Alice sat in the studio and listened to the sounds of Alice doing some excellent, moving and yet haunting duets with such notable figures as Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake, Cher, Tina Turner, Sammy Hagar, Robert Plant, Rickie Lee Jones, Amy Grant, young pop sensation Selena Gomez, Axl Rose, R&B artist Betty Wright, country music artist Toby Keith, Shooter Jennings, Willie Nelson, American Idols Clay Aiken, Stevie Wonder, and Sir Paul McCartney.

Seventeen tracks in all played and Alice and Shep listened to them as they played, not a word spoken until the end.

Alice turned to Shep.

“It’s good!”

“Damn good”, Shep agreed.

“Extremely good”, Alice added.

“One of your best ever”, Shep said.

“Historical and epic”, Alice said.

“Think it will sell”, Shep said.

“The record company will never release it”, Alice said.

“Too many names and too much legal mumbo jumbo to take care of”, Shep noted.

“Should we send it to the execs and see what they say?”, Alice asked his manager.

“We can”, Shep said, “but they’re going to balk and complain and say it’s not what the Alice fans want.”

“And is it?”, Alice asked.

“It’s damn good!”, Shep said. “And we put a tremendous amount of time, effort and money into this.”

“There are at least five chart topping hits on there”, Alice said.

“It could be number one easily”, Shep agreed.

“So what do we do?”, Alice asked. “I like it, but something in the back of my head say that we should put it on the shelf.”

“It’d be a crying shame”, Shep said. “But you’ve got to trust your guts and you’re the boss.”

“Make copies to send to all of the artists who helped out”, Alice said. “And the master is going on the shelf for now.”

“Probably for the best”, Shep said. “Maybe we can release it as part of your 50th Anniversary in a few years.”

“Yeah, that sounds good”, Alice said. “But it’s just not right for right now.”

“Yeah”, Shep said. “It’s a crying shame too, because it is so good.”

Yeah, it is”, Alice said. “Too bad!”

THE END (for now)

@00 @ music fof

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