A Day Of Dougie: Glasses, Duck Eggs & For A Good Time, Call…

A Day of Dougie
Glasses, Duck Eggs and For A Good TIme, Call…
December 2, 2019
DougMaynard.com

Welcome to a Day of Dougie. I woke up early this morning to do some paperwork for the Food Bank where I volunteer and upon completing my necessary tasks, I realized that I still have roughly an hour to go before I head out and go to work this morning. I could do a Wrestling Q&A since, thanks to my former tag partner Russell and a few other fine folks from Twitter, I have many new questions waiting, but I decided, “Nah!”. Instead, it’s time to bring back the always fun random writing “Day of Dougie” where I reach into the “Magic Bag” and draw a topic or two and then, with no advance warning or chance to prepare, I just go for it and hope for the best. Sometimes it turns out well and other times, not really quite so well, but it’s always fun.

Before I get to that, I do want to talk about yesterday. I went to say goodbye to a long time friend and brother-in-life and the Funeral Home was packed. That’s fitting though because Pat was a great guy who knew everyone and touched the lives of everyone he met. It was a good service, full of laughter and tears and I’m sure that Pat was watching and smiling at all the love and tribute that he rightfully deserved. But alas, with that many people, it was rough. It was rough anyways because no one wants to say goodbye to a good friend, but large groups of people really screw me up sometimes. Social anxiety is what they call it and I have it as about as bad as a person can and still be functionable. But I managed to hold it all together, see and catch up with many amazing friends and say goodbye to Pat. Afterwards, I drove down to St. Andrews University, drank a cold beer while I looked at the lake and let the emotions flow. My nerves are still shot today, but I’ll handle things. Work is a safe enviroment and I can slip into automatic mode, selling liquor and providing great service to my customers. There have been far too many of these gatherings as of late, with Keri, Wayne, Pat and later today, Brian, and it’s taking it’s toll. But that’s life and part of being a responsible friend and adult. Stuff happens and it’s not always good, but you deal with it and take it day by day, step by step. That’s what I’m doing, not because I want to, but because I have to. I miss my friends and my life, the lives of all of us, are a little less bright with the loss of such amazing people, but it goes on. And with the knowledge that these four men have moved on to a better world, a new beginning if you will, life goes and so will I.

Let’s go get the Magic Bag and find a topic or two to write about. We’ve got “Glasses”, “Duck Eggs” and “For A Good Time, Call…”. Okay, this should be fun. Let’s do this…

Glasses…

So what can I say about glasses? I wear them and so do most people I know. But then again, we’re all old and can’t see for shit so the idea we’re wearing glasses to help us see, does that surprise anyone? I’ll be getting some new ones later this week. I went for my annual eye exam last week and found out my eyes suck. Okay, maybe not totally, but they are getting slightly worse. My good eye is still good and my bad eye is getting weaker, but I can’t see out of it anyways so that’s not a big surprise. My prescription has changed slightly so I get new specs. Yay for me. They look cool though and I’ll still have my old pair, the ones I wear now, for back-ups. So that’s that. I look better with glasses than without anyways and this keeps me able to be a smart-ass without fear of getting my butt kicked. After all, who will hit a man wearing glasses, right? And time is running out on me so next topic please…

Duck Eggs…

They’re richer in flavor than the usual chicken eggs we usually eat. They’re not good scrambled, but are great for baking and cooking cakes, pies, etc. And they come from a ducks butt instead of a chicken’s butt. What more do you need to know, right? So next…

For A Good Time Call…

Jenny. Her number is 867-5309. Back in the day, almost any bathroom wall had these numbers written in magic maker on the walls of the stall. It would be someone’s ex-girlfriend or the smart girl at school who wouldn’t give some guy the time of day so this was the payback. Write their number on the bathroom wall with a message promising a good time. A part of our past and a petty way to get even for some imagined slight. Or hell, maybe it was just someone advertising their skills and wanting to have a good time? Social media and sites like Craigslist and Tindr and Grindr have killed the days of bathroom wall hook-ups all out. That’s probably a good thing though. But I do remember seeing these written on the stall walls. Never called them, but did think about it once or twice. I wonder what would have happened? Probably nothing good. Well, at least a couple of bands and singers, like Tommy Tutone, talking about Jenny, and Faster Pussycat, talking about some other chick, got some hit songs from the concept and idea. And I got a quick piece for this blog. So there you go.

And with that, I’m out of time and have to close things up. Thanks for reading. Any questions, comments or thoughts, drop me a line. Until the next time, take care and stay awesome and remember that every day is truly a “Day of Dougie”. See you next time.

Ubuntu!

addison

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