A Day Of Dougie: Dry Cleaners, Coupons & Political Correctness…

A Day Of Dougie
Dry Cleaners, Coupons & Political Correctness
December 5, 2019
DougMaynard.com

Welcome to a new Day of Dougie and guess what? Baby, it’s cold outside. It’s 6:00am as I write this and I’m actually off work today, but decided to get up early just to come in here and write something new,. fresh and exciting for you. At least that’s the intention. It may be good or it may suck ass-water. That’s the thing about these “Days of Dougie” pieces and the whole drawing random topics things. I don’t know what I’m dealing with until it’s time to write about it, but what the hell. I love a good challenge. Did I mention it’s cold outside? My desk is located next to a big window and I can feel the cold air from outside kind of creeping through the glass and it makes this one chilly spot to sit for long. If it gets too bad, I can turn on the heat, but damn it, that costs money. We don’t need no freakin’ heat! I’ll just wrap a throw thingee around my shoulders and look like Elizabeth Warren, I mean Pocahontas, I mean a native American. I’m more native than she is anyways, but then again, a turd from my cat’s litter box is more native American than Warren. Probably more sane and a higher IQ too. That woman is bat-shit crazy and annoying. And as fake as Epstein’s suicide.

I think I’m going to end up pissing off some of my liberal and Demo-friends this morning. My bad! I stayed up last night watching C-Span and the replays of the Impeachment hearings with Jerry Nadler as the head clown of the three-ring circus. I’m technically registered Democrat and I’m a liberal minded guy on most social issues, although there are only two genders – male and female and the rest is just delusion and anything else is just psychological issues. You have a penis – you’re a male. You don’t, you’re a female. Or maybe Cory Booker? But after the craziness that has been Adam Schift, Jerry Nadler and Speaker Pelosi over the past year, not to mention the Hillary stupidity from the last election, there is no way in hell I’d ever vote Democrat again. Yes, I’m coming out of the closet. I’m a “gay Republican”. Get used to it cause that’s the bottom line and I just said so. And Bernie, AOC, Warren, Kamala, Pelosi, etc… those people are the leaders of the party? That’s not a party I want to attend or be a part of.

Have I rambled long enough? Should I just get on with this? I guess I should save some of my bitching for other times and do what we came here to do. By the way, Brent Robinson is “the man!”. Just wanted to throw that out there. I love you brother (but in a totally heterosexual way of course.) Now, let’s do that “Magic Bag” thing and find some topics to discuss. I just added over three hundred new topics to what was already around a thousand topics listed to there will be plenty to choose from. I think that either I need to start writing more since at this rate, I’ll be pulling new things out of the bag every day until 2284. *Sighs* I just need to start writing more. So anyways, let’s do this.

And the subjects for today are…Dry Cleaners, Coupons and Political Correctness…

Dry Cleaners…

Does anyone even actually go to the dry cleaners anymore? I guess if you’re a professional in a semi-formal work atmosphere where pressed suits and looking top dog matters, you might go to one of these places or if you have a suit, dress or tuxedo, formal wear, that needs top qualify laundering and care. Me, I’m a jeans, t-shirts and untucked flannel type of guy so anything more than a run in the washing machine and dryer is just too much for me to worry about so going to the dry cleaners is not a top priority or issue for me. I don’t think I’ve actually had any any reason to step into a dry cleaners in about thirty or so years. My stepdad’s brother, Jack, used to own the Village Cleaners here in Laurinburg for many years so I went by there every so often for different reasons, but it was never to have any clothes cleaned or taken care of.

I just had a memory though that way back when I was eight or nine years old, living in Raleigh, one of my favorite places to hang out was a dry cleaners down the road from my house. The guy there didn’t mind us kids, me and my buddy, stopping by and hanging out and whatever. Of course, this was in the 70’s and a different time. He was probably a pedo thinking back now, but he never tried anything and we, being crazy kids, would go in and hang out and play in the back where all the clothes were hanging. It’s actually a pretty good memory now that it’s starting to come back to me and I’m actually remembering it. Something like that could never happen today, but myself and my mini-me mob of like-minded young-uns, we would hang out at the dry cleaners, the Fire Department and almost anywhere else. I don’t have much use for that kind of business now, but a lot of people still do. Just not me. Let’s move on.

Coupons…

I love me some coupons. Call me a cheapskate, but if you see me in a restaurant, I’m going to have coupons. Burger King, Bojangles, KFC or whatever. If we don’t get a deal and some coupons in the mail, I’m not going there. It’s just that simple. And the odd thing is though, I’ll use food coupons in a flash. I have a stack of Burger King and Captain D’s coupons sitting right here on my desk, all paper clipped together. I’ve got some in my glove-box in the truck all clipped together. And most likely, they’ll stay there and expire and then I’ll replace them and so on and so on. I don’t actually use them all that often anymore. I’ve gotten to where I prefer to cook at home, but I always have then on me and with me. Oh yeah, but as I was saying, I use those coupons, but coupons for grocery stores and stuff like that, I rarely use or even bother to save. I do always look for sales when I’m in a store and use my MVP card at Food Lion religiously, but I don’t clip grocery coupons. That’s weird, isn’t it? I use one kind of coupon, but don’t use the others. I guess I’m a racist against coupons? Whatever! I use them when I feel like it and don’t use them at other times. That’s just me and that’s what I do. Let’s keep it going. Next!

Political Correctness…

I’ve talked about this one many times so I don’t have to say too much here, but political correctness sucks ass. Everyone is too freaked out over the dumbest things and no one can say anything anymore without people getting their feelings hurt and being offended. Well, as you may have noticed thoughout this piece and just from being around me, those fortunate few that actually are, I don’t care about your feelings. If it’s funny or I want to talk about it, I do. I’m not mean (usually) and it’s usually not personal, but people need to take the sticks from their asses and loosen up a bit. I like jokes and dark humor and sarcasm and politically incorrect stuff. I like to smile and laugh and smirk every so often and that’s my perrogative and just because it sends some nerdy little fuss-bucket into a frenzy, well actually, I find that funny too. In today’s world, people have thin skins and need to get the hell over it. We could never have a TV show like All In The Family, The Jeffersons, Married With Children or movies like Porky’s, Police Academy or Blazing Saddles in today’s wimpy-ass world. People would be protesting and complaining and crying. How about just watching and laughing instead. Crude is cool and I shouldn’t have to worry about what you think and if you’re okay with what I say or do or watch or listen to. You worry about you and I’ll worry about me and lighten the fuck up. ‘Nuff said!

And I guess that’s enough for today. I have to go now and hit on young men on MeetMe. Every young stud needs a creepy old man in their lives sometimes and well, that’e me. And as Wanda used to say on In Living Color, another show that couldn’t be made today due to political correctness, I’ll rock their worlds. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts and any questions, about anything at all, welcome. I’ll probably be back tomorrow with more, plust I have a “Wrestling Fact or Fiction” to do later today as well. Until the next time, take care of yourself and each other. Have a great one and make every day a “Day of Dougie”. Bye.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 10 1 1 a all in the family

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