Questions By Casper…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
June 1, 2020
DougMaynard.com

One of the more interesting people that I follow on Twitter is a man named Tyler (The Ghost) Casper. (@tyler_casper) Check him out and give the man some love and a follow. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he asks a lot of questions. And the regular readers of this site know how I am about questions, right? So I went down his Twitter feed and copied 25 of the most recently asked questions. And now, for your reading pleasure (and because I’m bored), it’s time to provide a few answers. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

What is your favorite deep-fried food?

I guess it would be onion rings or fried chicken, especially if it’s from the Nic’s Pic with a side order of Taters. Deep-fried Twinkies were pretty good too, at least they were the one time I tried them at a carnival. But then again, it’s hard to screw up a Twinkie.

Have you ever had deep-fried burritos?

No, I can’t say that I have. Is it on the menu at Taco Bell? I may have to check it out and try one someday.

Have you ever had homemade pizza?

Absolutely. We used to do this often when I was a teenager. We’d make up the dough (or use a box of Chef Boyardee pizza mix, put it on a cookie sheet and clean out the fridge to get toppings. It was huge, messy, and damn delicious as hell.

What is your favorite pie?

Sorry, I don’t do pie. I’m gay. Oh wait, you mean baked goods type of pie. My bad! I like Lemon Meringue or Pecan, depending upon my mood. That kind of pie is yummy.

What is the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten?

I guess I shouldn’t say “your boyfriend”, should I? That would be wrong. He wasn’t that good. How about a Whopper and Fries from Burger King after a ten-day stay in the hospital. After over a week of hospital crap, that Whopper was heaven in my mouth, unlike your boyfriend. He was only okay.

Have you ever had a carbon fiber splinter?

I can’t say that I have. Why? Do you think I should?

Have you ever had a metal splinter?

Again, I can’t say that I have. Why? Do you think I should?

What would you say your spirit tree is?

A pecan or walnut tree. After all, my world is definitely full of nuts.

If you could be any plant, what would it be?

A living one. How about a vine plant like Cleopatra from the Addams Family show. That plant was total bad-ass. Or the plant from the Little Shop of Horrors. Eat people and sing. What a way to live. Feed me, Seymour… Or else!

What is the largest yard you’ve ever had to push mow?

We had a pretty big yard when I was growing up in Raleigh and I did that one a few times. Also, where I live now is a pretty large lot, but the mowing isn’t so bad. It’s the pine trees and limbs that make this yard such a pain.

Have you ever been so tired that you fell asleep while standing?

I have fallen asleep standing up in the shower before so that would be a definite yes.

What have you done to brighten someone’s day today?

I stayed home and left them alone. I also posted some funny memes on Facebook. I’ve done my part to spread love and happiness. My work is done.

What is the farthest you’d go for someone you love?

For booty calls, my limit is ten miles. I might go a few miles further if they’re cute or exceptionally skilled, but that’s not often. As for love, my max is probably twenty miles. Anything more than that, they need to come to me and my house.

What is the scariest neighborhood you’ve ever had to walk through?

Probably Washington Park or Glen Acres in the early hours of the night. I wasn’t scared then, but I was younger and a bit crazier then and really didn’t give a damn. I think of it now and as crazy as people have gotten, there is no way, if it could be avoided, that I’d go strolling late at night in those neighborhoods now.

What is the scariest neighborhood you’ve ever driven through?

My own neighborhood, but it was in the middle of a hurricane and I was just wanting to get home as quickly as possible.

Don’t you think every place should have parking reserved for veterans?

That would be a nice gesture, but some dumb-fucks who don’t need to be parking there would be parking there and it would probably cause more problems than it’s worth due to the stupidity of today’s entitlement society.

What is the longest amount of time you’ve ever spent looking for parking?

Probably ten to fifteen minutes back when I was stupid enough to go to the Mall for Christmas shopping and other holiday needs. Now I do the Dollar store, Wal-Mart, and online shopping. It’s so much easier and no fighting with ass-clowns over parking required.

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I’ve got like five pairs of shoes, but that’s not as good as it sounds. I only need left shoes since my right foot is in a Crow Boot. So for all my pairs of shoes, I only need one of them from each pair. And I only have two pairs I can currently wear of those because of the swelling in my left foot. Yeah, that one is messing up too and getting worse all the time. So if any one-legged bastards out there who only need a right shoe want to send me your left ones, I’ll take them. Size 12. And thanks in advance.

Do you it’s a complete set of silverware, or is it a mish-mash of different styles?

It’s a conglomeration of probably ten different sets of silverware with all sorts of designs and styles. We have only three forks though and there is a lot of plastic silverware mixed in to make up for what has been lost over the years.

What was the last thing you bought at a garage sale?

We call them “yard sales” down here in the South. The last thing I remember buying was probably some albums. That was a long time ago though. Now everyone just sells their stuff online or gives it to the Habitat House as a donation.

Do you ever shop at thrift stores?

I do shop at the aforementioned Habitat House. They have some pretty cool stuff usually and some great books. It’s a great way to find some deals and pass a little bit of time as well.

Do you have a favorite beer?

Bud Light.

Do you have a favorite rum?

I’m not a big fan of Rum, but I did try Kraken a couple of times and it was okay. Also, Mt. Gay rum is good. It’s overpriced in my opinion, but it has a special place in my heart due to the movie “White Frog”, an excellent movie, and I do have a few shot bottles stashed away for future use.

Do you have a favorite vodka?

I’m usually a big proponent of cheap vodka and was known at one time to drink Nikolai Vodka quite regularly but to be honest, that is some rough shit. A man I worked with turned me on to Tito’s Vodka and it is arguably the best and smoothest vodka I’ve ever had. It’s almost like drinking water. If I’m running tight on money, I’ll still do the Nikolai or maybe FRIS, but my favorite by far is Tito’s.

Do you have a favorite wine?

In the words of a very famous European Count, “I never drink… wine!”.

And there you go. My thanks for reading and for Mr. Casper for providing these intriguing questions on his Twitter feed. Any comments, thoughts, or questions, drop me a line at Doug28352@yhoo.com or on Twitter at @Doug28352. Until the next time, stay safe and be well. I’ll see you on the flip side and at the matches.

Ubuntu!

Casper6

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