Tossing Salt Presents:
12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 5
Jukebox Heroes, Fortune Tellers & All I Want For Christmas Is You)
December 14, 2020
DougMaynard.com

Good day Sirs and Ma’ams and welcome to Day 5. I think the song would be saying something about five golden rings right about now, but while I did borrow the inspiration for the “twelve days” from the song, there ain’t no rings here. Instead, it’s just me and memories and thoughts on the various topics that were drawn from the contents of the infamous Magic Bag. It’s Monday afternoon and I’m in preparation to go to work (again). Yes, I said again. We had a truck this morning. Oy vey. Let’s do this.

We have the Magic Bag and I need some topics. We have fortune tellers, jukebox heroes, and All I Want For Christmas. That sounds pretty solid so far as topics go. Let’s see if I can make it work.

Jukebox Heroes…

Do any places even still have jukeboxes anymore or is everyone just listening to their phones? There was a time that, for our musical entertainment, it was common to see a jukebox in the corner of every establishment you walked into for food or drink. Huddle House had one. Pizza Inn had one. Showtime Pizza had one. Every bar and truckstop across the nation had one. And they were cool. Put in a quarter and listen to three songs from the selection available. I remember going with my dad when I was a kid to a truck stop near his house and we were able to pick our songs on the jukebox from the booth. I would always play Waylon and Dad would always play Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing. And the third song would be something random that looked cool. It was a good time and those are some good memories.

But as with everything else, the world has changed and I can’t remember the last time I walked into a restaurant and saw a jukebox sitting in the corner. Then again, with the pandemic crap going on, I can’t remember the last time I walked into a restaurant to be honest. Drive-thru, delivery, or cooking at home have become the ways to go. But that was the way, along with the radio, to hear music back in the day. And everyone had their favorites who became big stars because of great concerts, the radio, and of course, the jukeboxes. So who were my jukebox heroes? Alice Cooper, of course, Waylon, Foreigner (who recorded the song Jukebox Hero), Patsy Cline, and Styx were among my favorites. I just liked good music. I still do. And rap is crap. Let’s move on.

Fortune Tellers…

They’re not real. Sister Cleo was not real. Jeanne Dixon was not real. Carnack The Magnificent was not real. They’re all shysters, con-artists, and people who make lucky guesses. No one can see or predict the future. If they could, how did we ever get to 2020 and all of this BS without any kind of warning? Oh wait, that was all man-produced and a conspiracy between the media and government to systematically destroy the United States and gain control over the common man/sheep. My bad! That’s a bad example. But if someone wants to tell you the future for money, don’t fall for it. They’re pinheads and crooks. Unless they have three nipples like the character Priscilla Barnes played in the movie, Mallrats. She, I think, was the real deal. Or maybe I just like nipples. Let’s move on and finish this out.

All I Want For Christmas Is You…

A holiday classic that everyone knows and loves. And every singer of note who does Christmas music has recorded a version of this song. We all have that special person we miss that isn’t here anymore, for whatever reason, and we’d give almost anything to have them here with us for one last moment, some precious time together, and maybe a tight hug. This is currently my favorite version of the song, performed by Steve Grand. Enjoy the song and video and remember that special someone in your heart. Merry Christmas peeps.

And I guess that’s it. My apologies if this seems kind of rushed because it most definitely is. I have to get ready for work and I’m being interrupted constantly by someone who decided that they had to come into this room only while I’m writing when they haven’t been in here all day. It’s a conspiracy and they’re out to drive me crazy. Believe that cause it’s true. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. I’ll see you tomorrow and Merry Christmas.

Ubuntu!