12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas (Prologue) – Indoor Voices, Mexican Reindeer & Christmas Thanks…

Tossing Salt Presents:
12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas: Prologue
December 24, 2020
DougMaynard.com

It was the day before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.


And that is a lie. The cat is meowing, trying to con me into giving his chubby not-so-little self some more treats and I’m in the process of getting ready for work. I’m going in a little later than usual today, but it will be crazy, chaotic, and arguably one of the two or three busiest days of the year. Scotland County loves the liquor. But before I descend into the craziness and madness that is Christmas Eve at the local ABC store, I wanted to come here and wrap up my 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas series. I know that technically, I did that yesterday with “Day 12”, but I have a strong desire to have just “one more match”. And for those of you who are not wrestling fans (and watching RAW recently, I get it), that was my inner Christian coming out. I got me some awesome peeps so why not steal another of his catch-phrases to use in the here and now. I just did.

So what am I going to talk about? Three things come to mind. Two will be determined by drawing topics out of the infamous Magic Bag and the third, I’m just going to try to say, in a shortened and condensed version, what I’m thankful about this year for Christmas. Does that sound like a plan or what? So we get one more day of the 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas and you’ll probably see me get all sappy and sentimental. Or maybe just mental. We’ll see how it goes. So let’s do this. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, my topics from the Magic Bag are Mexican Reindeers and Indoor Voice. And the other is in-the-feelings-me. Now, once again, let’s try and do this.

Mexican Reindeer…

When I was a small child, I had a rag doll. The only doll I’ve ever owned. Okay, that has nothing to do with this topic, but I just started hearing the band Erasure singing the Tina Turner classic, River Deep Mountain High. It was a favorite song of an old friend of mine back in the late ’80s and early ’90s and even though she’s passed away now, I hear that version of the song and think of that amazing woman. I miss you Wakana and pray that you found the happiness that eluded you in life. I need to do a piece one day talking about this person and how really cool she was. And I will. Remind me. RIP Waka. No one has ever nor will ever take your spot.

As for the topic at hand, when I was in grade school, probably 2nd grade, we had concerts at school for all the parents to attend and one of them was for the Christmas celebration. And one of the songs we were forced to belt out was about Pablo, the Mexican Reindeer. By today’s standards, that song would probably be considered politically incorrect and racially insensitive, but we were kids and our teacher said sing it so we did. And we rocked! I’ll share the video of that song and of Erasure’s rendition of River Deep Mountain High so you can hear how awesome it was. You’re welcome.

Indoor Voice…

All I can say about the people who talk loud and scream when inside and when a soft-spoken, quiet voice is all you need and I’m standing three feet away from you and you’re just yelling and getting louder instead of toning it down and using a conversational tone, you make my freakin’ ears hurt. So here is what I have to say. In the words of the Cheech & Chong legendary character (go look it up), Sister Mary Elephant… “SHUT UP! Thank you!”. And now, let’s wrap it up.

Christmas Thanks…

I’m happy to be alive and to have my family and friends to share this life with. I’m thankful for my extended family of Infamous Outlaws for allowing me to be a part of their life and to be the brother, father, grandfather, brother-in-law, uncle, and whatever else comes to mind, all without ever having to pay child support or change any diapers. I’m thankful for my cat. I’m thankful for having a good job with some amazing people that I care for and all go above and beyond. I’m thankful for having an outlet to express myself and share what flows inside of me with each and every person who clicks on this site. I’m thankful for the friends who continue to stick by me even when I’m an anti-social pinhead with major anxiety issues and a bad habit of being a dick and don’t deserve it.

And damn, this is getting long. I’ll end with the words of Tiny Tim or something similar to the words of Tiny Tim since I can’t remember the actual quote and don’t feel like looking it up. Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone.

And I guess that’s enough. I need to go change shirts. This one makes me look fat. I mean, I know I am fat, but I don’t want to highlight the belly too much today. And I have to get ready for work. Uugh! Thank you for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any other stuff are welcome. Have a very Merry Christmas, stay safe, and I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!

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