Ten Questions: Bugs, Books, Drives & More…

Tossing Salt Presents:
10 Questions
Bugs, Books, Drives & More
October 26, 2021
DougMaynard.com

This world is full of questions. I found ten of them on my Twitter timeline that I deemed worth answering. And here we are. So are you ready? Let’s do this.

If you were a bug, what kind would you be?

A love bug because, let’s be serious here, everyone loves Dougie. I would have gone with a spider, but they’re not technically bugs. Read any edition of SpiderMan for an explanation about that. Spiders are cool, especially the Black Widow. Listen to Vincent Price explain why. But for me, a love bug it is. And no, not crabs.

Would others say you have a “dirty” mind?

Not dirty, no. I don’t think so. They might say slightly twisted, a little dark, creative and out there, or totally insane. But dirty? Absolutely not.

Have you ever made your own salad dressing?

Why would I want to do that? Was the store out of Thousand Island? Damn you, Joe Biden. Let’s go Brandon!

Is it ok for me to walk around my house naked if everyone is already in bed?

Do whatever you want. I don’t care. But if you look good, send me pictures. I need some entertainment.

What is the longest book you’ve ever read?

The Bible is the first one that comes to mind, but the biography of Sinatra by Kitty Kelly (bitch) was long too. And the Harry Potter books. I like long stories.They rock!

What is the longest paper you’ve ever written?

I wrote a ten-page letter once to a friend of mine in jail. Ten pages, front and back, and I used the extra-small font and it still took ten pages. But hell, I was in love and had a lot to say so it’s all good. Long letters used to be a trademark of mine.

What is the furthest you’ve ever driven without stopping?

The longest I can think of was from Connecticut back to North Carolina. That was just over ten hours and while I did stop once for gas, that was my only stop. I was ready to come home.

Do you ever “kiss and tell”?

If I did, there would be a helluva lot of “straight guys” in Scotland County having their cover blown and reputations ended. What goes on between myself and anyone else is between us and only us. I might tell about incidents and activities, but the actual names involved, that’s an absolute no-no.

Do you trust the FDA?

The FDA is part of the government and there is absolutely nothing about anything from our corrupt and lying ass government that I believe or trust. If someone says they’re from the government, any branch, most likely they’re liars.

What is the one little guilty pleasure that you indulge in?

I enjoy watching HGTV, especially Love It or List It and The Property Brothers. Yes, I’m getting old. Just don’t tell anyone, okay? And I watch cartoons on Disney Plus. Hell. Mickey, Donald, Chip & Dale, Uncle Scrooge, and the rest of the Disney characters are cool. Mickey is evil, but the cartoons are still awesome.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions you’d like to ask about anything, just drop me a line. Take care and stay safe. I’ll see you on the other side.

Ubuntu!

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