Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions
Names, Ubuntu, Riddles & More
November 13, 2021
DougMaynard.com

Are you ready for a little Q&A. It’s 5 Question time, but I’ve decided to add a bonus question that was sent to me at my e-mail address (Doug28352@yahoo.com) so it’s going to be six for the price of 5. Yay! Don’t say I’ve never given you anything and don’t love you. Let’s do this.

What does Ubuntu mean?

This comes from my friend Jackson and he sent a very long e-mail about a lot of things and then closed with this question. I guess it’s because I always close up all of my writings with this word. It means, “I am because you are!” And what it means, so far as I’m concerned anyhow, is that without you, my loyal readers, my friends, my family, the special people in my life, etc, I am nothing. It’s just that simple and very, very true. Y’all keep me motivated and inspired and for that, I will always be very appreciative.

Do you know what your name means?

Not really, but that’s the great thing about the internet. I can google it and look it up. So here goes. According to http://www.thinkbabynames.com, Doug means “black river”. Okay, that’s a letdown. I was hoping for meaning like “bad mutha-fucker” or “that dude crazy” or “high intellect”. But at least now, if I don’t like something about anything, I can legit pull the race card out. My name says I’m a wet person of color. So I’ve got that and white privilege going for me. The best of both worlds. Woo hoo! Ain’t no stopping me now. And then add in the gay thing and damn. I’m every liberal snowflake’s dream come true. Black, fat, and gay. Send me a check now or I’ll protest you. But unfortunately, I believe in independent thought, less government, working and earning what you get in life, no special treatments for anyone due to race, religion, sexual orientation, gender (only two of them), or any reason except for character and hard work. And I support Trump. Let’s go Brandon! And someone’s race is just a color. You’re either a good person or a piece of shit. Nothing else matters… period! So says me and my “black river” name.

Are you PC?

I know how to behave in public and bite my tongue when appropriate, but PC? I don’t think so.

Do you have a favorite man-made material?

How do I even answer this? How the hell am I to know what materials are made by men and which ones are not? This is not in my area of knowledge. I guess I’ll go with polyester. I don’t really care for it, but it was big in the seventies and made nerds look interesting. That’s my answer, Alex. What is polyester?

Do you have a favorite natural material?

Silk. The worms make it and it’s all slippery and shiny, but it makes cool bed sheets and people can wear it when they want to be ho’s. That’s always a good thing.

What is your favorite riddle?

What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

And the answer is… bubble gum. If you were thinking anything else, you’re a sick, perverted deviant. And that’s why I like you so much. Birds of a feather and such lol.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care and be safe. I’ll see you at the Wal-Mart. I have to go pick up a prescription. Bleh!

Ubuntu!