Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Door To Door, Marriage vs Living Together & Manners
November 30, 2021
DougMaynard.com

Yes, I am going crazy and am literally bouncing off the walls. I keep running into walls and door frames with my wheelchair and bouncing back with a stream of profanity coming from my mouth at every incident. It must be Monday. (Looks at the calendar.) Okay, it’s Tuesday. That’s even worse. I should be getting ready for a doctor’s appointment, but hell, I’m already ready so that’s not an issue. And I still have close to an hour to go before I leave here. Oy vey! Is it too early for day drinking? Probably so. So let’s just do a Day of Dougie instead.

Before I get the Magic Bag and draw out some topics, I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to my nephew, Shawn Gantt. A finer person, you can not find. He doesn’t like Biden either. And though I, unfortunately, missed out on most of your childhood and life, I’m very proud of the man you’ve become and to be able to call you family. I love ya bud! Happy Birthday!

And now, Magic Bag time. I need some topics. And reaching my hand into the bag, we have Door To Door, Marriage versus Living Together, and Manners. Okay, this isn’t too bad. So are you ready? Let’s do this.

Door To Door…

I guess this is when you exit a room and walk ten feet and enter another room. You’ve gone door to door. Bwah-ha-ha-ha! I crack me up. I’m thinking that most likely I was thinking about the lost art of door-to-door salesmen that used to be so prevalent, but now are pretty much non-existent. We met a guy once, back when I was probably 8 or 9 years old named Larry King. Not the radio/TV guy with suspenders, but a young man trying to make a living. He was selling World Book Encyclopedias. It was the 1976 edition so I must have been getting ready to turn 10.

So Larry came to our door, talked to my Mom, and she ended up buying a set of encyclopedias for us kids. And long story short, he became a friend of the family and we kept in touch with him for years. He and his buddy even came and stayed with us a few times after they had moved to Florida. And if he hadn’t been selling those books, door to door, our family and Larry would never have met.

I also remember when my sister-in-law at the time, Kathy, tried to sell the Kirby vacuum cleaners and did that door-to-door thing. How did that work out? Not too good. But she only did it for a couple of months and had some great stories to tell as a result. I miss that gal.

So that’s enough for door-to-door stuff. What’s next? We have the word Manners.

Manners…

Be polite. Be respectful. Always say “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me”. It’s “Sir” or “Ma’am” when talking to adults. Act like you had some upbringing, even if you really didn’t, and the world will be a much better place as a result. If you’re thinking about being rude, ignorant, hostile, or just being a dumb-ass, three words for you. Don’t Do Dat! And now you’ve been told. Let’s move on.

Marriage versus Living Together…

To me, it’s essentially the same thing with the only real difference being legal recognition of the relationship and a piece of paper. I know that there’s more to it than that, but I’m not married and both of my attempts to live with someone and have a relationship with them didn’t work out too well. I’m not a people person and value my own space and privacy and changing to accommodate a romantic partner, let’s just say he better be pretty damn special. Chris was, but there was so much baggage on both sides, it couldn’t have worked. Now, what was I saying? Which is better between marriage or living together? It depends on the people and what they’re looking for and expecting of a relationship. Regardless of what they choose, I can’t and won’t judge.

But on a personal note, I do want to get married one day and on the day I turn sixty-five, not quite ten years from now, if I’m still on this side of the earth and breathing, I will be getting married. I don’t know who the lucky guy will be yet, but go ahead and mark your calendars. July 3, 2031 is the day. You’ve been warned and so have all of the sexy men. My clock is ticking so give me a shout and let’s work something out.

And there you go. I guess that’s enough for now. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome. Until the next time, I’m out of here. Take care and I’ll see you at the Chapel.

Ubuntu!