Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Ice Cream, Christmas, Vampires & More
December 14, 2021
DougMaynard.com

I find these questions on Twitter at the page of Casper (@ghostly_host) and I find the answers in my heart and soul. And here is where they all come together. It’s Questions By Casper and it all starts right now.

What is your favorite home remedy?

Home remedy for what? If it’s athlete’s foot, I’ve always heard that urine works great. And for colds and congestion, moonshine is the best thing. And for anything else, how about a beer or ten? Works well for me.

Who do you think would be really neat to meet in person?

As far as famous people go, Alice Cooper and Donald Trump are at the top of my list. And also the many people I’ve established friendships with via social media and Yahoo over the years, people like Paps, Harold, Tecty, Suzie Q., Bob McGee, Chad, High Voltage, The Dirtside Maniac, Bob Casey, Sakee, etc. My wrestling brothers and sisters. If I ever get to where money is not a problem, nor is time, I’d love to just get in an RV and drive across North America and meet all my online Peeps. And then, a plane ride to the UK to meet my boss-people from Wrestle-Zone.Co.UK. So many people and so little time, but I’d love to be able to make it happen.

What is the dumbest thing Biden has said so far?

He adds to the list every week so it’s hard to keep up and pick just one gaffe. The man is a total tool and mentally incompetent. But one of my favorites was when he called a guy a “dog-faced pony soldier”. That was pretty cool.

What is the best way to eat ice cream?

With your mouth. Otherwise, it tends to get all messy.

Apple pie or pumpkin pie?

No, I’m not Jason Biggs, but I like Apple Pie too. Not for the pie-sex thing, but to actually eat. The sex is pretty good too though.

How often do you have dessert?

Usually after the dinner meal, but considering how rarely I actually eat a real meal at dinner time or any other time for that matter, it’s not very often.

How often do you eat ice cream?

Maybe every couple of weeks. Not often, but when a craving hits, I gotta have it.

What is the longest amount of time you’ve ever stayed awake straight?

I think we’re looking at maybe about 35 hours or so. I could do it when I was young and sleep was more of an inconvenience than anything else. A necessary evil. Now that I’ve gotten older though, I need my sleep.

Do you believe in vampires?

I’ll plead the fifth on this one. I do, but not in the Dracula or Twilight sense. Maybe more in the Lestat way of blood-sucking. Anne Rice (RIP) knew too much for it to all be fake.

Do you believe in zombies?

Yeah. Just look at all of these people walking around looking at their cell phones. If that’s not brain-dead and emotionless mockeries of life, I don’t know what is. It’s as close to the Walking Dead as you’ll find anywhere.

Have you ever been in a tornado?

I’ve had a few strikes close to where I was on a few occasions, but I’ve never actually been in one. I’ve been in many a hurricane though. Not fun at all.

Have you ever served in the military?

When I was seventeen, I talked to the recruiter and was interested in joining the Navy, but I caught him in a lie and pretty much said screw this. And I never looked back so no military for me.

When’s the last time you caught a cold?

Do colds even still exist? I thought that everything counts as COVID now, at least so far as the government is concerned. That’s why they want you to take the shot and all of the boosters, to keep them in control and keep you “safe” (and under their control). I usually tend to get one big cold every year, but so far, not yet. It’s been a pretty good while since my last case of the sniffles.

Who is your most favorite person in the world?

Myself. And my bro-son K-Mak. And his mini-me. And of course, A-Mak. And the Princess. And my bros, Brent, Greg, and Michael. And my sisters, Tian, Tatz, and Miss TMA. And the folks at my place of employment. And the fam. I have a lot of favorites.

What is your favorite saying?

Probably “fuck” in all ways, shapes, and forms. It’s definitely one of my favorite and most used words.

What is your favorite Christmas show?

Show as in TV show. movie, musical, or what? I don’t understand, but what the heck? It doesn’t matter. I’ll just say “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas!”. I like the Grinch. He’s my hero.

What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

Chillaxin’ with my family and friends and getting shit-faced sloppy drunk. No, wait. That’s my favorite weekend tradition. For Christmas, I’ll go with watching the kids (of al ages) unwrap their presents and realizing just how wonderful and awesome these people really are. That and eating. I like good food!

What is your favorite Christmas song?

I have three favorites. One by Steve Grand, one by David Bowie and Bing Crosby, and one by the Brothers Zappa (Dweezil & Ahmet). And here they are. Enjoy.

And there you go. My thanks for reading and to Casper for the great questions. I had fun. Until the next time, take care and stay good. I’ll see you at the Christmas tree.

Ubuntu!