Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper (and Kelly)
Pushing Buttons, Waking Up & More
February 28, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Long have I gone to the great Casper (@Da_Ghostly_Host) to get questions for my blog’s Q&As, but now another fine person has made her presence known. It’s Kelly (@Kelly_ques) and she likes to ask random questions as well. It’s just more fun for you and me. I can’t remember who asked what, but I’ll keep them separate in the future. For now, let’s suffice it to say let’s do this.

Who do you think is your celebrity look-a-like?

Obviously, it’s Rob Lowe. We could easily pass for identical twins… if I dyed my hair, lost a ton of weight, had some minor surgery, and became a liberal sheep. Okay, so it’s not Rob Lowe. To be honest, I think myself and Jack Black could pass for brothers. Is that a good thing though or a bad thing? Hmmm.

When is the best time to cancel plans?

As soon as you realize that you need to cancel them. Duh! Or better yet, just don’t make plans. Live by spur of the moment and randomness. Things tend to work out a lot better that way.

What would you name your car?

My current truck doesn’t really have a name, but the guy at Food Lion used to call it Ranger Danger.

Did you ever think you had superpowers as a child?

I liked to pretend that I did, and hell, maybe I actually did. I was an odd child lol. But no, I didn’t believe or think that I actually had any kind of powers, except for a good imagination. I wasn’t that weird.

What would you teach every girl on the planet about men if you had the chance?

How to give a proper blowj… never mind on that one. What they don’t know only leaves more men coming to me for one done properly. I would teach them to listen to their man, admit that the man is always right and that we are the superior gender. LMAO! I’m going to get my ass kicked for that one. I’m kidding… or am I? Hmmmm!

What do you consider to be a good saying?

A good saying? It’s your duty to shake your booty!

What is the best thing to wake up to?

A warm body next to you that belongs to someone who you love and care for and who feels the same way about you in return.

Do you try to push other people’s buttons?

Who? Me? Never…

Are sweat pants sexy?

On the right people, they are. And on other people, not so much. It depends on the person, the way the sweatpants fit, and what they’re showing off. But with all that in mind, gray sweatpants season is definitely one of my favorite times of the year.

Have you ever been unjustly terminated from a job?

A few times. Admittingly, I’m not an easy person to deal with all the time. I like to poke the bears if you will, but I’m also a good, hard worker, reliable, honest, and more than willing to bust my ass and go above and beyond if necessary. But despite all of that, some people just can’t take a joke. You tell a supervisor to go fuck themselves and they get all upset and fire you. What the hell? No sense of humor at all.

But fired unjustly. How about being fired for flunking a mystery-shopper test because I didn’t ID a person who was very much far older than the legal age to buy cigarettes. Maybe it was the fact that I had customers lined up, every gas pump going, was the 5 o’clock rush, and I was working alone, and this person was obviously well over the age of 18. I didn’t card, got written up, and fired.

Or we could talk about when a District Manager came into a store and fired the store manager, who just happened to be my Mom. Then she proceeded to tell me, even though I had been there longer than anyone else at the store and had done nothing wrong, that I was being transferred to work in the store in Southern Pines, about thirty-plus miles away. I asked if I was getting paid for gas or getting a raise. She said no, but I was moving to that other store. Imagine how that went if you can. I told her very nicely to go fuck herself, and on that occasion, I wasn’t joking. She told me was I fired then and I started working at Nic’s Pic two days later.

That’s two instances. I could tell a few more stories, but you get the idea and I’ve answered the question. So there you go.

And that’s going to do it for me. It’s time to go uptown with my bro for a bit. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions you may have, drop me a line, and let’s chat. Take care and be safe, my friends. I’ll see you at the Wal-Mart. I’ll be the one sitting in the truck
See you.

Ubuntu!