Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Cowboys, Murder Can Hurt You & The Real World
December 12, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Well, they always say that the show must go on so here I am, not really feeling it, but back again for another infamous Day of Dougie. I haven’t really talked about it much here at the site, but for the past several months, my sister Lynn has been going through some major hard times. In and out of the hospital, dealing with MS, breathing problems, liver problems, and just one thing after another.

She was called home last night. It hasn’t even been twelve hours yet and it just doesn’t seem real. The good thing, if it can be called that, is that, is she’s not hurting or suffering anymore. I could talk more, but I’m not ready to deal with this yet. I’ve got to be the strong one and look after my Mom, my sister, and everyone else. When the time is right and I can deal better, I’ll talk more and probably do a tribute piece for her. She absolutely deserves it. I’m just not ready yet. I’m just going to conclude this here by saying fly high, Denise Lynn Stokes. I love you! And now, let’s move on and do a Day of Dougie.

I’ve got the Magic Bag in hand so let’s reach inside and figure out what the Topics of Discussion are for today. We have Cowboys, Murder Can Hurt You, and The Real World. Let’s do this.

Cowboys

Cowboys aint easy to love, but they’re harder to hold. They’d rather give you a song than diamonds or gold. Lone star belt buckles and old faded Levis. Each night begins a new day. If you don’t understand him or he don’t die young, he’ll probably just ride away.

Yes, I just copped the lyrics of the classic Willie & Waylon song, Mama, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys. I love that song and it was honestly the first thing that came to mind when I saw the topic of discussion. I guess I could have talked about playing Cowboys & Indians when I was a kid, but that’s not allowed anymore. It’s not politically correct and is considered racist to the Native Americans. That’s why they changed the name of the football team. Bunch of politically correct cheeseheads!

Maybe I could talk about the show Yellowstone. That has plenty of real cowboys in it, right? Well, I guess I should actually watch it first before talking about it, but I’ve heard a lot of good stuff. It’s on my list. How about we just say screw it and play a video by Kid Rock? Yeah, that works. Here’s Kid Rock singing Cowboy. I’m through.

Murder Can Hurt You

I think this was a movie back in the 70s that was a parody of all the police detective shows on TV at the time. I kind of remember seeing it on one of the networks when I was like ten years old and enjoying it very much as I love parodies and it made fun of Ironside, Starsky & Hutch, McCloud, Columbo, and a few others.

And then I went a couple of years ago and found the movie, in its entirety, on YouTube and watched it again. It was better when I was younger because it came across as kind of lame in the more recent viewing. Hell, now I’m wanting to watch it again and see if it got any better. I’ll make a note of it and watch it soon. If it doesn’t suck too badly, I may do a review here on the site. Watch for it.

The Real World

This was a show that aired on MTV for twenty-plus seasons where several strangers were put in a house for a period of time and their every move and action was recorded as they tried to get along. It was an interesting show and the best one, at least in my opinion, was Season 10 in San Francisco. Pedro died of AIDS. I wonder what ever happened to Puck? Most of the time, I would just skip it on the TV, but that particular season caught my attention and I was hooked.

I’ve often wondered how I would do on a show like that, but I’m too much of an isolationist these days that I wouldn’t be good for reality television. I’d make a good background character in a sitcom, the grumpy old man who rarely talks, but sits in the background being a smartass. That could be me. Reality TV though? I don’t think so.

But back to the Real World, if they ever make a middle-aged person edition, I want to be on it. I’ll start drinking heavily again and let my inner Dougie out for the cameras. It would probably get me kicked out of the house and arrested for being a pervert, but that would be great TV. The Real World, where people quit being nice and start being real.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions are welcome and appreciated. Sorry that this wasn’t really one of my better columns, but as I said earlier, I wasn’t really feeling it. Just going through the motions because it’s what I do and the show must go on.

I was planning on starting the Twelve Days of Dougie Christmas series tomorrow. It may happen or it may not. I’ll let you know. And with that, I’m out of here for now. Take care and be well, my friends. And thank you. If it wasn’t for you loyal readers and having this site, I would probably have lost my mind years ago. Some say I already have, but no, not yet. We’re still hanging on. Thanks again. I’ll see you later.

Ubuntu!