Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #9
Random Twitter Q&A
March 12, 2023
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, it’s always fun to reply with an answer or two. I used to do a regular piece called “Questions By Casper”, but alas, Casper has gone MIA. But others have stepped up to fill the void. Just random questions from my Twitter friends. Are you ready? Let’s go.

What’s your favorite comfort food?

Your boyfriend. Nah, I’m kidding. He’s not all that, as you well know. I’ll go with Summer Sausage. Just slice it up into thin pieces and then eat it, piece by piece, on a fresh Ritz cracker. Good stuff.

Who is the greatest Frog of all time?

Any frog besides Kermit is wrong. You know it. I know it. Miss Piggy knows it. Kermit is the man… I mean, “the frog”.

What’s your favorite one-hit wonder?

She’s made plenty of great albums and is a phenomenal performer, but the only chart-topping hit I can ever recall Rickie Lee Jones having is this one right here. It’s my current favorite, at least right at this moment. Chuck E’s in Love!

Are you a fan of Fish and Chips?

I prefer to call it just a slab of fish and some fries, but yeah, I’m cool with Fish & Chips. It’s not my favorite meal, but every once in a while, a little change is nice and it’s off to Captain D’s I’ll go.

Do you wear socks?

I do. I wear one to protect my foot and keep my toes warm.

What is the greatest Donut of all time?

A fresh, hot Krispy Kreme donut, fresh from the oven. Or hell, even three days old in the box on the kitchen counter. It tastes so good and it seems to melt in the mouth. I love them things.

Do you still wear a mask?

With every conversation I have and every time I have to leave the house and interact with others, I most absolutely do.No one gets to see the real me in all of my glorious splendor and the mask is always in place.

What’s a great song with “Never” in the title?

Doesn’t Heart have a song called “Never”? Well, there you go. And here it is. Enjoy.

Do the January 6th prisoners deserve reparations for their time spent wrongfully behind bars?

Yes, they do. they need to have their records cleared, be set free from the jails where they’ve been unlawfully held for the past two years, and paid, not by tax dollars, but by the personal finances of the political clowns who have been behind these games and farce that we now as January 6. I’m talking Pelosi, Schumer, the entire Jan. 6 committee, Adam Schiff, Liz Cheney, and all of those pieces of garbage. Wipe out their bank accounts and pay these people who have been imprisoned and suffered because of their lies and B.S.

Is Blazing Saddles a racist film?

Nope. It’s a Mel Brooks film that makes fun of racism by showing just how stupid it really and truly is.

Name something you can never find when you need it the most.

Peace of mind and a quiet space to work uninterrupted. And a good pen that writes.

What would you write on a gigantic billboard?

Since “FJB” and “Let’s Go Brandon” would be too easy, I’d probably go for something a little more personal and from the heart. It would be either “And that is all the people need to know!” or “Eat More Cheese!”. And no, I don’t get it either, but those were the first that came to mind.

Sex before marriage, yes or no?

Considering that I’ve never been married and that I like sex, especially with your boyfriend, I would have to say yes. And I am kidding about your boyfriend. He ain’t all that lol.

Do you believe McDonald’s is overrated?

Mcdonald’s absolutely sucks! The service is poor. The food is bad and overpriced. The restaurant is nasty and disgusting. And the orders are always screwed up. Maybe that’s just the one here in Laurinburg, NC, but I seriously doubt it. They suck!

What film would you like to win the Oscar for Best Picture?

I don’t even know what movies are nominated, nor do I care. Clerks 3 maybe? Kevin Smith needs an Oscar for his fireplace mantle so let’s go with that.

And there you go. Another edition of the Questions (Not) By Casper in the books. Thanks for reading. Thoughts, comments, and any questions about anything at all, except your boyfriend because I have no comment about him to make, are welcome and appreciated. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!