Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #34
Random Twitter Q&A
April 6, 2023
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, it’s always fun to reply with an answer or two. I used to do a regular piece called “Questions By Casper”, but alas, Casper has gone MIA. But others have stepped up to fill the void. Just random questions from my Twitter friends. Are you ready? Let’s go.

What is something you were required to learn in high school that you have never used in your adult life?

I took Latin in high school, but except for the occasional outburst of singing Old Christmas Tree, that’s never really been a big benefit to my life. Cutting up worms and frogs has never been important to any job I’ve held either.

What are you most grateful for in life?

My family, my friends, my imagination and semi-productive brain cells, and alcohol.

Did you make prank phone calls when you were a kid?

Absolutely. I was Jerky Boys long before there was such a thing.

What is your favorite beer?

Well, it’s not Bud Light after the past few days. That’s for sure. Actually, I do like Bud Light and Natural Light. Those are my two go-tos so far as beer goes.

What’s the craziest thing your EX did after you broke up?

Danny kept trying to come back and entice me into adult relations. And yeah, it usually worked. And Chris? He went to prison for seventeen years.

Who is the greatest Walter of all time?

Let’s go with the last unbiased, at least publicly, newsman in modern history, Walter Cronkite. Oh wait, I just figured out someone better. This guy.

Name a hot pepper.

Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I’d go under the bridge with him anytime. Also, Flea. Based on the pictures I’ve seen of him onstage, it must be pretty cold up there, but he’s got a charm about him as well.

Have you ever lied to make anyone happy?

More times than I care to admit. Those little white lies are necessary sometimes though. I don’t want to be the bad guy by telling the truth. At least I didn’t back in the day. Now I just tell the truth every time and damn the consequences. I just hate it when they cry, but yes, your brother was better. Get over it!

Would you rather have to cook the big holiday meal every year or clean up and do the dishes afterward?

I love to cook and cooking those big meals is something I find very relaxing so I’ll go with being the Chef. I’ll wash up my dishes and area though as I go along so there isn’t all that much of a mess to clean up afterward.

If you had the chance of renaming yourself, what would it be?

I like my name and I wouldn’t change it a bit. But so far as professional goes, I originally for a short time used an alias of Vincent Paul Phillips and I wish I had kept that up for the blogs, the wrestling stuff, etc, instead of using my real name. I have to censor myself sometimes because of my job, standing in the community, etc., but if it was under a pen name, I could be unfiltered and say anything without repercussions. Imagine the stuff that you read here on the site. Now imagine that taken to the next level and uncensored. It’s the world’s loss. Too bad!

If you had to choose between unlimited money and unconditional love, which would you pick?

I already have unconditional love. I have my cat. Show me the money!

How would you improve your community?

If I had the resources and money, maybe a Rec Center for the young people in this town. There is absolutely nothing for the kids to do in this town but get into trouble. I’d try to provide an alternative.

What job would you do for free?

Well, I worked at the Food Bank for fifteen years as a volunteer so doing that, helping to feed our community, is one thing I wouldn’t mind doing if I could. Also, working as an assistant to a local wrestling promoter and helping to put together storylines and matches is something I think I would do well at and would love to try.

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

I learned to say no and to get away from the users, abusers, and general low-lives that were far too much a part of my life for way too long. And I quit drinking all the time to now just the occasional shot or special moment. I was bad there for a while, but I knew I had to change and tighten up. And I did.

And there you go. Another edition of the Questions (Not) By Casper is wrapped up and ready to post. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, I’m out of here. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!