Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #60
Random Twitter Q&A
May 5, 2023
DougMaynard.com
Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.
How do you know when you’re in love?
For me, it’s when a person fills your thoughts, and heart, and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy in the belly, but you know it’s not just gas. When I’m wanting to be around a person and their annoying qualities make me smile instead of making me want to punch them in the face and tell them to leave. It’s hard to describe, but when it happens, you know.
How do you like your eggs, typically?
Cooked. Maybe fried or maybe scrambled or even hard-boiled. I’m not very picky. But raw eggs are nasty. Throw some heat on them in the skillet and we’re good. If they’re raw, give them to Rocky Balboa. I’m not touching them.
Have you ever been caught having sex?
Yes, but I don’t care to tell the story right now. Let’s suffice it to say it involved a sexy man with green eyes, his psychotic wife, and a lot of yelling. Film at 11.
What is your favorite playground game?
I liked the Merry Go Round, steel spinner of Death. Falling off or jumping on could often be a painful experience, but it was never boring.
Is 1,000 dollars a week enough money to live comfortably?
If you have common sense, it’s more than enough, or should be anyhow. If you can’t make it on that amount and live relatively well, you’ve got some major issues.
Have you ever bought an album by an artist you didn’t know anything about, solely based on what you read about it, and loved it?
Not so much that I used to buy cassettes based entirely on the album cover or if I recognized the name of the band or artist. I’d go to the discount music bin with the marked-down music and just grab one or two cassettes at random and hope for the best. I discovered some good music that way with bands like The Dead Milkmen, Bertie Higgins, and others.
What crime committed by your potential partner is not a dealbreaker?
I can’t handle a pedophile or a habitual liar. Anything else would depend on the actual situation and circumstances and we’d deal with it.
If you owned a restaurant what food would it serve?
I’d love to have a small cafe that only does hamburgers, hot dogs, milk shakes, and fries. Nothing more. It would be awesome.
Which video game character do you relate to the most?
I’m not a video game guy so this one is a hard choice. Let’s go with Donkey Kong. As for why, because we both like to act up and kidnap Princesses sometimes.
Have you ever met your trashmen? Mailman?
Yes for both. My mail lady is an old friend from years gone by, while my trash dude is a sexy beast who comes into my place of employment every so often to partake in adult beverages.
What would you consider the nastiest pop you have tasted?
Caramel Pepsi. Do you remember that garbage? It was nasty. I even did a review of that disgusting brew. Here it is.
If you could ask Voldemort one question, what would the question be?
What happened to your nose?
What are you going to do next time when it’s announced that Covid is back and everyone has to shut down their businesses for two weeks?
Ignore the lies as I did before and continue with life as usual. My job is considered essential so it would just be business as usual.
Name a better comedy movie than Dodgeball.
Almost any comedy movie out there is better than Dodgeball. So name one. Only one? Jow about Airplane? Or the Kentucky Fried Movie? Or anything written or directed by Mel Brooks.
And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions are welcome and appreciated. And now, let’s wrap things up. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.
Ubuntu!
DougMaynard.com 