Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #80
Random Twitter Q&A
May 19, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is the greatest fight of all time?

This match right here between those two holy terrors of professional wrestling. It’s WeeLC with El Torito taking on Hornswoggle.

Who is the greatest Gino of all time?

Professional wrestling legend, The Handsome Halfbreed, Mr. Gino Hernandez.

Do you think Barney really loves you?

No, I don’t. I think he did. Just another lying ass who plays on our emotions and pretends to be our friend, but as soon as our backs are turned, he’s out there scaring children with that “great big hug and a kiss from me to you”. Sounds like a pedo to me. That big purple freak!

How many hours do you spend watching sports every year?

The greatest sport of all time, pro wrestling? The number of hours would be in the hundreds and maybe more. Damn, I need a life.

What’s the best film based on a video game?

Did they ever make a movie based on Ms. Pac-Man or Donkey Kong? Well, they should.

If you could be any type of dog, what breed would you be?

A German Shepard or maybe a Husky. Both animals are beautiful and very intelligent.

Silly hats or silly socks?

Thanks to my awesome coworker, Crystal, it’s all about the socks. She got me some incredible compression socks with those cool ass skulls all over them. Love them!

If a movie was made about your life, what actor would play you?

It would be Johnny Depp since we’re so alike and awesome. Okay, maybe not. I’ve answered this before. Who would make the perfect Dougie on the big screen? I’d say, Jack Black.

Fill in the blank:
“Never trust anyone who doesn’t like _.”

Cats. Cats are awesome!

What’s your comfort animated film?

I always go watch Bambi when I need to have my heartstrings tugged at a bit and my emotions need to be tweaked. I still can’t believe that they killed Bambi’s mother though. Those bastards!

In school which subject did you despise?

I didn’t much care for Creative Writing. Surprising, I know, but it wasn’t the subject or class itself. I learned a lot and was pretty good at it, but the teacher? We didn’t get along from the very beginning and that’s an understatement if anything. She was woke before that was even a thing. No, change that. She was just a bitch on a power trip and didn’t like to be questioned or argued with and well, I was me. So Creative Writing. There you go.

Do you have houseplants in your office?

(Looks around the kitchen where I have my computer set up)… The answer would be yes.

Would you rather be rich or famous?

I don’t like attention, people, or being noticed when out in public so being famous would suck. Being infamous as an internet asshole is good, but being well-known would not be good. Just give me money. Lots and lots of money.

Free Visa to any country in the world, which country are you choosing?

After over ten years plus of working for the UK’s number one wrestling website, Wrestle-Zone.co.UK as a columnist, it would be a trip to the land of tea and crumpets, jolly old England. Hey Paps, can I borrow your couch?

Have you ever completed a jigsaw puzzle?

Many times. That used to be a thing that I liked and enjoyed doing. Well, that was before I had cats because now, they would stay in the way and I wouldn’t be able to get anything completed. But there was a time.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Thoughts, comments, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap up for now. It’s nearly 5:00 am and I need to go to bed for an hour or two. So be good and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!