Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #81
Random Twitter Q&A
May 23, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Would you rather lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak?

It would be the ability to speak. I love to read and write. I generally could care less about talking except to a few certain people. So reading is good. Writing is good. And speaking? A necessary evil, but no big loss.

Who is the greatest fictional athlete of all time?

Groot. Okay, he’s a tree and not an athlete, but he’s still my pick. Why? Because I am Groot. That’s why.

If the Super Bowl became a streamed PPV every year, would you pay to watch it?

I don’t watch it now and it’s on free television, so why would I waste my time and money watching it on PPV? No, I don’t think so.

What’s your honest opinion on Rick Rude?

A great athlete, a great wrestling performer, and a talented entertainer.

Name a television show that you enjoyed at one point but felt continued for way too long. My pick is The Simpsons.

The Simpsons are definitely past its expiration date, but the same could also be said for South Park and Family Guy. So my choice? Let’s go with The Price Is Right. Drew Carey is NOT Bob Barker. ‘Nuff said!

What is the greatest stadium of all time?

Let’s go with Wembley Stadium over in the UK. They hosted Live Aid. How can any stadium beat that?

Who is currently your favorite person to talk sports with?

My bro, the Infamous One, and my boss-man at the ABC, the man I call “Champ!”.

What song do you not play at a wedding?

Let’s go with Highway To Hell by AC/DC (the band, not the wrestlers). It’s pretty cliche, but what the heck? It works.

What celebrity would you get into a car with, no questions asked, if they randomly showed up in your driveway?

Alice Cooper, Johnny Depp, or Vince McMahon.

Name a famous columnist.

Me, me, and me. Okay, maybe not. Let’s go with Ann Landers.

Would you ever get a blowtorch haircut? Yes or No?

Hell to the no. There is nobody I trust that much that I’m willing to let set my hair on fire voluntarily. And besides, have you ever smelled burnt hair? That’s a nasty odor. Hell no to that.

Do you like Fig Newtons?

They’re okay if they’re fresh, but once the package has been opened, they get hard pretty fast. Damn, that sounds like some guys I know. With the guys, that’s a good thing. With the cookies, I mean with the Newtons, not so much. So fresh and just opened, yes, but after that, no.

Do you like air?

I literally couldn’t live without it. ‘Nuff said!

What would you do if you send your young kid to school and then find out the principal is an LGBTQ+ activist?

There is no reason to talk about sex to young children. I’m a gay man, but if anyone, teacher, principal, or anyone tries to influence my child or grandchild or any kid for that matter about sexual preferences, gender identity, or any of that, the kid should be gotten as far away from that nutcase as possible and that perverted freak should be punched in the mouth repeatedly. Let the kid be a kid, damn it! Growing up in school, I didn’t know anything about my teacher’s sexual orientation, family life, political leanings, or activities away from the school. I knew about the class I was taking and the subject they were there to teach and that’s all I needed to know. And that’s all the kids today should know. That’s why they’re in school. If the principal is an activist, be it gay, political, pro-life, pro-choice, BLM, or anything and brings it to the school and their jobs, I would remove my kids from their influence and do my best to get them removed from their job, as any good, responsible parent would and should do.

Is Fox News done or do you still watch?

I don’t watch TV anymore or any news network, but if I did, it would still be Fox. They’re idiots but are still far more balanced and honest than CNN, MSNBC, or any of the Networks.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s close this up. I have a lot of catching up to do to make up for missing the past couple of days so it’s time to get to stepping. Stay well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!