Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #83
Random Twitter Q&A
May 24, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Question: if you’re exclusive with someone is trading nudes ok or not?

If you’re a couple, then hell yes, trading nudes is okay. Heck, even if you’re strangers, so long as both parties are legal adults, trading nudes is fine. Hell, I love to trade nudes and if any of you guys out there reading this are so inclined, send me your dick pics. I’d love to see them. Doug28352@yahoo.com. I’ll be waiting.

Who is the greatest detective of all time?

Either Sherlock Holmes or Batman. I’ll go with Batman.

If your ex was a meal, what dish would they be and why?

Which ex? Let’s go with Chris. so pretty and appetizing, but leaves a bad taste in the mouth. He would be steak and onions because there was plenty of meat and tasted good at first, but after the meal, you need to go brush your teeth immediately because you now have onion breath.

What poster did you have hanging up on your wall as a kid or teenager?

Besides all of my wrestling posters, I had Alice Cooper and Samantha Fox on my all. The greatest entertainer of all time and Samantha Fox because naughty girls need love too.

If you wanted to send the message, “I’m brain-damaged,” how would you dress?

I think a “Vote Biden” shirt or hat would suffice because nothing says brain-damaged more than that.

What’s the worst thing to step on in the dark?

I have two cats and a dog so you can imagine what the possibilities are in the middle of the night, walking down a dark hallway. Either poop or puke. Damn animals.

When you hear the name “Jim Brown” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

A kid I knew back in the 70s when I was growing up in Raleigh, NC. He lived a few houses down from me and we played together sometimes. And yeah, I think he was named after the football player.

What is the worst scary movie of all time?

Mary Poppins. A crazy chick who sings and flies around with an umbrella. Hell, it scared me. Still does.

Age check. How old are you?

My sense of humor says I’m 12. My body says I’m 86. My mind drifts back and forth between 30 and 90. And my birthday says I’m 56.

Why is Martha Stewart on the cover of SI?

Who knows, but at least she’s not a chick with a dick so I won’t complain.

Waking up early is now considered to be racist. Agree or disagree?

Hell, what isn’t racist these days? I got up at 8:30 this morning so does that qualify me for a leadership role in the Klan? Probably so according to those woken idiots who claim shit like this. I’m already allegedly homophobic, transphobic, and a cracker flaunting my white privilege, at least for this week so we’ll just add racism to the list. I also allegedly hate kids, pets, the sun, the moon, the beach, and jelly beans, but only the black ones, or so I’ve been told. sighs Film at 11.

Finish this sentence:
When people say _ it’s incorrect.

Anything about me without knowing me or asking first.

Do you think self-care is important?

Very important because if you don’t care for yourself, why should anyone else bother?

Do you like cheese or butter more?

I like cheese sometimes, but I’m more of a butter guy.

What is the most exciting thing you can see out your kitchen window?

Often in the wee hours of the morning, four deer have become regular visitors and the occasional possum. I love the animals.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up. I need breakfast. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!