Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: Extreme Rules
May 16, 2013
Coming up on Sunday night, it’s the WWE and their “Extreme Rules” pay per view. So that means it’s time to break out the crystal ball and do some predictions. Yeppers, that’s what we’re going to do. And away we go…
*WWE champ John Cena vs. Ryback – Last Man Standing.
The only thing I can think of that would be worse than having John Cena retain the WWE Championship would be having Ryback win it. He sucks… badly! The man is physically imposing, but he can’t talk, can’t wrestle and can’t realy generate any kind of heat. I see it and most of the so-called WWE Universe sees it too. I just hope that Vince can see it. Cena retains the title and continues to suck the life out of the WWE Championship until SummerSlam and the (hopeful) return of CM Punk.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: John Cena
*Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar – Steel Cage.
Triple H won at Wrestlemania and if he wins twice in a row, then they may as well just stick a fork in Brock and send him to NXT or something. He’s done. So Brock won their first battle, HHH won the second and here, in the rubber match, it’s time to shout “Here comes the pain!”. Brock takes the very brutal trip to the pay window with a big win.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
*Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger – I Quit Match.
If Dolph can’t compete due to injury, then he should be strippe of the title and this match between Del Rio and Swagger should be for the World Championship. But not in the WWE (this week) so instead of a title match, we get an “I Quit” match. I think I’d rather watch Ricardo versus Zeb than Del Rio versus Swagger, but whatever. Swagger is still getting a bit of a push, but Del Rio is the one that the WWE sees a big future in. Del Rio takes the arm and makes Swagger tap.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
*WWE United States champ Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose.
A member of The Shield as the United States Champion? Hell, that sounds like a plan to me. Make it happen. I think it will.
Winner and NEW United States Champion: Dean Ambrose
*WWE Tag Team champions Team Hell No vs. The Shield. – Tornado Rules.
And now we have the tag titles on the line. I would love to see The Shield walk out with all the gold, but I don’t think it will happen yet. Team Hell No still has some life left in them and as much as I’d rather see Bryan and Kane go their seperate ways and see Bryan back in the WWE / World title picture, I don’t see a title loss here yet. Look for a DQ finish as Ambrose comes down to lend aid to his Shield comrades.
Winners by DQ and Still Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No
*Miz vs. Cody Rhodes.
The Miz is awesome. Cody has a great mustache. And right now, both are extremely low on the WWE food chain so no one gives a damn about what could be possibly the best match, from a pure wrestling standpoint, on the card. Let’s flip a coin. Heads! Miz wins.
*Big Show vs. Randy Orton – Extreme Rules.
Lots of plunder. Lots ofstiff spots. Lots of craziness. And a win by the deranged deserter with the RKO. He’s back in the main event scene again. And the Viper is biting hard.
Winner: Randy Orton
*Sheamus vs. Mark Henry – Strap Match.
This brings back memories of the classic Greg Valentine – Wahoo McDaniel days. Oh, I guess that’s before your time. Snoogins… lol. It’s got an old school feel and could be a pretty good match. I know it will be stiff and both Sheamus and Mark Henry will be feeling it for days afterwards. Henry doesn’t need to win. Sheamus does. So give this one to the walking jar of mayo.
*Chris Jericho vs. Fandango.
Fandango won at Wrestlemania so Jericho takes this one downtown to Chinatown. Fozzy rules and Jericho is the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla. But it won’t be a clean finish so Fandango takes a walk during the middle of the match and gets counted out. Yep, that’ll work.
Winner (by count-out) – Chris Jericho
And there you go. My predictions for WWE Extreme Rules, coming up on Sunday night. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I doing the Fandango? Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated.