Tossing Salt Presents: SummerSlam 2013 Predictions
August 16, 2013

We are just a few days away from the WWE’s biggest event of the Summer, SummerSlam 2013, coming on pay-per-view this Sunday and that means, of course, that it’s time to break out the crystal balls and put on the Sister Cleo robes. Yeppers, that means predictions. And along with my predictions for the eight announced matches, I’m going to do a possible spoiler prediction at the end. I’ve heard some rumors and this would make sense so… Let’s just jump right to it and take care of bid’ness. Here we go.

United States Championship Match
Dean Ambrose versus Rob Van Dam

This is the pre-game show and they’ve really picked two great talents to get the ball rolling and to get the audience fired up. RVD is going after that prestigious gold belt held by Shield member Dean Ambrose. This should be a helluva match too since RVD has been wrestling great and looking inspired since returning to the WWE and Ambrose is just an amazing talent who rarely has bad matches. Look for this one to go to the wire and end up in a DQ finish when Ambrose’s partners decide to get involved. And that’s going to lead to that spoiler match I talked about in the intro, so I’m shutting up now. As for this match, Ambrose is DQ’ed and keeps the title. But your winner is RVD.

Winner: RVD

Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee and Big E. Langston

No offense to the talented wrestlers in this match (and Kaitlyn), but who cares? Dolph, AJ and Langston all deserve better than this designated bathroom break match. Ziggy turns on Kaitlyn, reunintes with AJ and they make Kaitlyn look like an idiot. So there you go. Heel turn by Dolph and AJ pins her rival to win the match.

Winners: AJ Lee and Big E. Langston

Inferno Match
Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Kane loves to play with fire, but he sucks at winning these kind of matches. Kane will take a fall and move on to “See No Evil” 2. And the Wyatt family continues to follow the buzzards on their climb to the top of the WWE ladder. Look for the guy who hangs out with Goat Face to walk away the winner.

Winner: Bray Wyatt

World Championship Match
Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

I’m tired of Del Rio and think that he’s a poor excuse for the World Champion, but Christian just hasn’t really been setting the world on fire for anyone lately either. I can’t really see him as the World Champion right here and now. So, I’ll predict some outside interference by Ricardo, Del Rio’s former ring announcer and it will be revealed that it was all just a ruse. They’re still together and Ricardo will allow Del Rio to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and retain the title. And the Peeps, including myself, will shed a tear because Del Rio sucks!

Winner and STILL World Champion: Alberto Del Rio

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

The Bella are riding high on the reality show and while Natayla is a part of that show too, she’s more of an afterthought with the WWE, when it really should be the other way around. Natayla is a good wrestler and deserves better. Look for some “Twin Magic” and Brie steals the win.

Winner: Brie Bella

Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow

Former best friends collide. Rhodes is ready for a big push and I think this will be the start. Damien will dominate, but the man with the ‘stache will take that trip to the pay window. And yes, you’re welcome!

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

It’s “The Best” versus “The Beast” and it really could go either way. Regardless of the outcome, I expect we’ll see Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel both be heavily involved. Would love to see a Punk ally (Colt Cabana perhaps?) make an appearance and get involved as well. Be a helluva way to make a WWE debut, wouldn’t it? Or even a Punk girlfriend (Lita) make an appearance to kick Heyman’s ass. But regardless of who else is there or not there, this will be a brutal and stiff match. And I don’t think it’s going to end in just one match so it really doesn’t matter who wins here. My gut says that Brock will win this one so that’s who I’m predicting. Time for CM Punk to feel the pain.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

WWE Championship Match: Special Referee: Triple H
Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Why is HHH even involved in this match? I still don’t get it. But it’s the WWE and I guess he can do whatever he wants so we get HHH as the referee. Bryan is hotter than ever and on a big roll right now. Cena has a nasty looking elbow that needs medical attention and time to heel and will probably be taking some time off soon. I hope so anyhow. So look for a great match and lots of close calls on the parts of both men. And in the end, the fans scream “Yes Yes Yes” as John Cena is foreced to tap, tap, tap. Bryan wins the gold.

Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Daniel Bryan

And no, I don’t think Orton will cash in the Money In The Bank contract on Sunday. Maybe on Monday night, but Sunday will be Bryan’s night to shine in the spotlight and have his moment of glory. And now, on to the possible spoiler match. As I said earlier, I expect The Shield to get involved in the RVD / Ambrose match and cause Ambrose to be DQ’ed, thus retaining the U.S. Championship. Well, rumors are making the rounds that RVD will be “saved” in that situation by Mark Henry and The Big Show. And thus, a six-man tag match will be quickly made and added to the pay-per-view show. It’s just a rumor but it works for me and sounds like a helluva possible match. So I’m going to do a prediction on it.

Possible Spoiler Bonus Six-Man Tag Match
The Shield versus RVD, Mark Henry and The Big Show

Great match with lots of action. And the good guys win when the Shield decides to take a walk and gets counted out, thus setting up rematches for RAW the following Monday night.

Winners: RVD, Mark Henry and The Big Show

And there you go. My predictions and thoughts for SummerSlam. So what do you think? Any comments? Predictions? Let a brutha know.

Ubuntu!