Tossing Salt Presents: Wrestling Fact Or Fiction
April 3, 2014
It’s Thursday morning and it’s time for your favorite guilty pleasure, that little thing I call “Wrestling Fact Or Fiction”. And since we’re just a few days away from the biggest show of the year for the WWE, Wrestlemania XXX. So that means it’s time to break out the “Sister Cleo” outfit and the crystal ball and do that prediction thing too. So let’s just jump right to it. First, let’s play fortune teller.
Wrestlemania XXX Predictions…
Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista vs. TBD: Triple Threat match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
I’m of two minds here, which probably explains a lot about my life. Do we have a no-contest in the Bryan / HHH match and both men move on to the main event, making it a Fatal 4-Way or is there a clean winner in the HHH / Bryan match and the winner becomes the third man? I’ll go with the second scenario even though I’d actually prefer to see the first, and say that there is a clear winner in the HHH / Bryan match and it’s Daniel Bryan, thus he becomes the third man in the main event. And once that’s determined, we have a great match with Orton, Batista and Bryan. And at the end of the night, after some attempted shenanigans by The Authority, thwarted by the return of a certain “Pipe Bomb” loving superstar from Chicago, the fans will all rise and shout YES! YES! YES! as Daniel Bryan pins Batista to become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Winner and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H
This should open the show and will be one helluva brutal and stiff match. HHH will dominate most of the match and look well on his way to victory when Bryan manages to snatch a victory out of the jaws of defeat and catches HHH will a roll-up and clean pin.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
It should be brutal and total smash-mouth wrestling match and one for the ages, but the outcome really isn’t in any doubt. The Undertaker wins and the streak lives.
Winner: The Undertaker
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
I’m conflicted on this one. Wyatt should win, but it’s John Cena and will Mr. WWE allow the younger, brash upstart to have a moment of glory and win this match? To be honest, neither man needs to win to get over because John Cena can win or lose and it doesn’t matter and Bray Wyatt’s character is so over, it really doesn’t matter for him either so long as the match is a strong one. I would love to see Wyatt win, but if he does, the feud is over and I think we’re just getting started. So as much as I wish otherwise, I think Cena will get the nod here and Wyatt will be able to get his revenge at Extreme Rules.
Winner: John Cena
André the Giant Memorial 30-Man Battle Royal
This could be a big making-it moment for some young up-and-coming WWE star. Big Show and Mark Henry are the two obvious favorites, but they don’t need the rub and it wouldn’t make any sense because it’s just too obvious. My favorite person and best pick to win is Cesaro. He’s really getting over and winning this event, especially if he eliminates his partner, Jack Swagger, in the end. I’d like to see it, but I have a strong suspicion that The Real Americans will be the next and new Tag Team Champions at the end of the night and I can’t see the WWE putting that much glory on one person at one event (unless he’s named Hogan, Austin, Cena or HHH). So I’ll go with a dark-horse pick. I would like to see Drew McIntyre get a push. That would be cool, but I don’t see that happening either. I’ll just go with Dolph Ziggler. Yeah, why not.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
It’s fourteen Divas fighting for the Divas Championship and attempting to dethrone the long-time champion AJ Lee. It’s single-fall and sounds like it’s going to be a total cluster-f*ck. I’m going out on a limb here. AJ wins and retains the gold.
Winner and STILL Divas Champion: AJ Lee
The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) vs. Kane and The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg and Billy Gunn)
Believe in The Shield. I do. Look for the Dogs of Justice to take home the win.
Winners: The Shield
The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) (c) vs. Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando) vs. The Real Americans (Cesaro and Jack Swagger) vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Why is this on the pre-show? Wouldn’t it make more sense to throw a nothing match here like maybe Fandango versus Brodus Clay or how about an IC Match with Big E defending against Heath Slater? All the work done over the past year or so to build up the tag team titles and the tag team division and it’s tossed to the pre-show. Give me a break! But anyhow, with that being said, at least the tag team titles ARE being defended at the biggest show of the year. As for the match itself, I’ve already said it earlier and I’ll repeat it again. It’s time for the tag team titles to be held by some real Americans, aka The Real Americans. Zeb Colter will be a happy man as Cesaro and Swagger win and are taking the titles home. WE THE PEOPLE!
Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: Jack Swagger & Cesaro – The Real Americans
And now, let’s move on and knock a few questions out…
Darren Eaton: So, we all know that the best of 7 series with Magnum and Nikita was classic. What other 2 JCP wrestlers would have had a classic best of 7?
Thinking back to those days and the talents in Crockett, I think they could have pulled off a great series of matches with Steamboat and Rick Rude. And maybe the Youngblood / Steamboat versus Brisco Brothers teams. It’s hard to remember back that far and what teams / wrestlers could make a series of matches work. But let’s take this to the modern day era and what current wrestlers / stars I’d like to see do a “Best of 7” series. How about Cesaro versus Dean Ambrose? How about The Miz versus Dolph? It’s only been done a few times in recent history (Benoit versus Booker in WCW and WWE) and could really work and be used to get some titles and current wrestlers over.
Shaun Sisk: Out of the current divas in the WWE, is there even one you could see if ever, voted into the HOF?
Of the current batch of active WWE Divas, only Natayla and AJ, if they continue on their current path, seem to me to be Hall of Fame bound. And that’s iffy at best for even those two.
Jack Rippy: You have just invented a machine that will bring professional wrestlers back from the dead. Sure, you could of used it to bring back world leaders, brilliant scientific minds, etc, etc, but you were a dick and decided that pro wrestlers were the only ones worth using it on. So, who are you bringing back to life first?
Owen Hart. His death was tragic and wrong and just a big loss for all of us and the sport of pro wrestling. He had such a future ahead of him that I can’t even think of anyone else that even comes close as an answer.
And now, let’s get to the meat of the column…
Wrestling Fact Or Fiction…
As is normal, the questions come from my friends at 411mania.com/wrestling. The answers all come from me. Just saying…
1. Daniel Bryan will win the World Title at WrestleMania 30.
FACT: I think it’s inevitable. The fans want it and it has to happen. There will be shenanigans along the way and it will look dark at the end of the night but when all is said and done and that final bell of the evening rings, we’ll see Daniel Bryan as the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. YES! YES! YES!
2. WrestleMania 30 has too many “multiple person” matches.
FACT: While I’m all for getting as many people on the show as possible, all but two matches are multi-man matches and that’s just a little too much for my tastes. How about having some singles matches for the U.S. and Intercontinental Championship titles? How about allowing two men to put on a show against each other and take that next step into immortality? If they want a series of multi-person matches, there’s an annual event called The Survivor Series for that. Wrestlemania is about having the best versus the best and putting on a show for the ages. All of these matches (and potential cluster-f*cks) are just a little bit too much for me.
3. John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt will be the match that steals the show at WrestleMania 30.
FICTION: It’s going to be good. Very good in fact, but steal the show? I have a strong suspicion that HHH and Bryan will be the strong match of the night, followed by the triple-theat title match and then Bray / Cena in a strong third.
4. You plan to watch one of the non-WWE WrestleMania weekend iPPV events (EVOLVE, DGUSA, SHIMMER, WRESTLECON, NJPW).
FICTION: I barely have time for the WWE and The Network. I won’t be watching any other events.
5. The Shield will break up at WrestleMania 30.
FICTION: There are still plenty of stories to be told and money to be made with The Shield. I think we have at least five or six more months before the split finally happens.
6. WWE is doing damage to the good will they built up over the last year rebuilding the tag team division by putting the tag title match on the WrestleMania pre-show.
FACT: This match should be on the main show. Aside from the WWE World Championship and Divas title, there are no other title defenses on the biggest show of them all and that’s a crying shame. The WWE could have thrown together any other kind of match to use as the pre-show match and it would be okay, but eight of the best (ten if you count Zeb and Torito) are prime-time material and deserve to be part of the bigger picture and not just the opening act. I guess we should be glad that the tag team titles are even a part of the show.
7. The Big Show should win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
FICTION: It’s too obvious a pick and no one likes the obvious. Just that he’s being so heavily pushed means it won’t happen. Let’s see a surprise winner and let someone deserving get a big push from this event. I picked Dolph in my predictions, but I’d love to see Cesaro, Drew McIntyre, The Miz or even Wade Barrett get the win. That would be awesome.
8. The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar match will disappoint.
FICTION: You can’t be disappointed if you don’t expect much and I really don’t expect too much from this. Brock will dominate most of the match. Taker will get his spots in like “Old School” and the “Suicide Dive to the Outside”. And in the end, Taker will manage to snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat when he comes out of nowhere and locks Brock in his submission move and gets the tap. Yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. Unless we get an appearance by a certain Crow looking man who lives in the rafters, I really could care less about this match.
And there you go.
And with that, I think it’s time to put this baby to bed. Thank you for reading and I’ll see you again come Monday night / Tuesday morning with the RAW recap and Tossing Salt – Worldwide News. Questions, comments and dirty jokes can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com or else come visit me at Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/saltpalace. Follow me at Twitter at @doug28352. And “dat is all de’ people need to know!”. I’m out of here. Take it sleazy.