WWE Survivor Series Predictions – November 23, 2014

Well, here we are and taking place later today is the WWE Survivor Series. coming live on the WWE Network for only $9.99… Oh wait, it’s FREE! Go watch it. I will (probably). I was going to write a full column, but it just hasn’t happened. Damn that Nikolai Vodka. And work too. So I guess it’s just going to be a quick and simple “prediction column” instead. Yes my friends, I’ve pulled the “Sister Cleo” outfit out of the closet and dragged the old crystal ball from the bottom drawer. I’ve consulted the stars, drew forth the cards and asked Mr. T if he truly loves his mother. I think I’m ready. Let’s do this.

Natalya, Alicia Fox, Naomi, & Emma vs. Paige, Layla, Summer Rae, & Cameron
Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

Does anyone really want to see this? Maybe if it was classic women grapplers like Lita, Trish, Molly, Jazz, Ivory, Jacqueline, etc taking part in the match. Then it might be good, but of the current participants, only Natayla and Paige have any kind of real following and that’s not saying all that much. Most of this is and will be “bleh” and “bathroom break”. And it’s not the fault of the women, but the way the WWE uses and books them. But that’s old news and we all know it.

This match will move along swiftly and everyone will get their signature spots in (the only moves most of them know) and then it will break down and the eliminations will begin. Paige is still the current golden child (along with AJ and the Bellas) and Natayla constantly gets screwed over and I doubt it will change here.

Winners: Team Paige (Final Survivors: Paige, Cameron)

(Champions) Goldust & Stardust vs. Los Matadores vs. The Usos vs. The Miz & Mizdow
Fatal 4 Way WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Tag team craziness and mayhem. I love the Lust In The Dust Brothers (obscure movie reference), but they’ve been the champs for a while now and it’s time to drop the belts and go back to doing their own things. We all know that Los Matadores don’t have a snowball’s chance at Kane’s house to win the gold. The Usos have already had a couple of runs with the gold and while deserving, have a been there – done that feel about them. Thus the new golden boys, on their way back to redemption, will bring home the bacon. Time to start singing “Me And My Shadow” as Miz & Mizdow give the Dust Bunnies their curtain call and capture the gold.

Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: The Miz & Mizdow

(Champion) AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella w/ Brie Bella
WWE Divas Championship Match

So the big rumor is that AJ Lee will be leaving the WWE sometime soon to go be with her husband, CM Punk. I’ve also heard rumors that Eve Torres will soon be returning to the WWE and that Mickie James has also made it clear that she’s itching to make a return to the WWE ring as well. And if all this is true, then one should expect to see AJ drop the WWE Divas Championship to the evil Nikki Bella.

I don’t believe rumors though or else the rumor I’ve been spreading for years, that the Disco Inferno will one day crash Wrestlemania, would have come true. One can only hope, right? I don’t think that AJ is leaving any time soon and I think her spot among the top of the WWE Divas division is safe and secure. But does that mean I think she’ll still be the Divas Champion after tonight? The way I see it, one of two things will happen. Either Brie will do something sneaky and cause her sister to lose the match and AJ will retain the title and the Bella-feud will continue OR Brie will do something to help her sister and cause AJ to lose the match and the Bellas will be back together and reunited. I’m going for AJ to retain and the Bella battles to continue to spat for a while longer. Yeah, that works for me.

Winner and STILL WWE Divas Champion: AJ Lee

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
Singles Match

Just a bone-crushing and smash-mouth, old school brawl from hell. Both men need a clean win and neither can really afford to lose any more matches. The flames are ebbing and starting to die. I think Bray needs it more than Ambrose right now. Bray also needs some new “followers” and maybe we’ll see these new faces step up and help their Messiah tonight. Who knows? Crazy and chaotic and Bray squeaks by with the win.

Winner: Bray Wyatt

Team Cena (John Cena, Erick Rowan, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, & RyBack) vs. Team Authority (Seth Rollins, Corporate Kane, Luke Harper, Mark Henry, & Rusev)
Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match- If Team Cena wins, The Authority is out of power. If Team Authority wins, everyone on Team Cena, except John Cena, is FIRED!!!

And finally, we have the main event. So many names have been teased with Randy Orton, Sheamus, Cesaro and Jack Swagger all being part of one team or another, but finally being shunted to the side in favor of the men currently scheduled and listed above. I do think that we’ll see the involvement of all the men who were teased, with the possible exception of Sheamus who’s working the injury angle. I’m still scratching my head at the addition of Erick Rowan as part of Team Cena. That just doesn’t make much sense to me.

Anyhow, this match will be a chaotic and crazy, over-booked mess that could either be extremely entertaining or an extreme cluster-f*ck from the opening bell. Add HHH, Stephanie and the Stooges 2014 team (Noble & Mercury) to the mix as well and the rumored appearance of Roman Reigns and who knows what can happen. But at the end of the night, I think that The Authority will be humbled and their reign of power will come to an end. Hunter is still the C.O.O. of the WWE and Stephanie is still an executive Vice-President of the WWE so even if their group is disbanded, they still have power and can cause problems for the people who have earned their wrath so that won’t change. It just won’t be the usual mob scene every week and things will be slightly more level, especially if a new General Manager comes from all of this, maybe from the rafters or the remains of WCW, whatever works. I love listening to “The Police”. Anyhow, it’s crazy and insane and lots of shenanigans from lots and lots of people. And in the end, Team Cena takes home that golden ring and Team Authority is through (for now).

Winners: Team Cena (Final Survivors: Dolph Ziggler, Ryback)

Pre-Show Match: Fandango versus Opponent T.B.A.

He’s not the Disco Inferno by a long shot, but it’s time to dance again.

Winner: Fandango

And there you go. My predictions for the Survivor Series, tonight on the WWE Network. Go watch it and see how I did. Thoughts and comments are welcome. And I am down and gone. Until the next time…

Ubuntu!

-Doug

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